I Dislocated My Kidney I Can't Poop

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I worked this weekend it was moderatly busy had a pt in the waiting room so I went down to get her registered.

I asked her "What brings you in to the ER tonight?"

She says "I think I dislocated my kidney and now I can't poop.":confused:

I asked her how this could happen, trying to keep a straight face.

She said she was wrestling around w/ her son and now her kidney was dislocated. Then she procedes to tell me "I normally poop every day but after this happened I was not able to poop today!"

I seriously had to hold it together because I was about to bust a gut when she said that. :lol2:

Craziest thing I've heard so far!

Specializes in Med Surg, Hospice.

:roll:roll:roll:roll:roll:roll:roll:roll

Too funny!

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Specializes in Day Surgery, Agency, Cath Lab, LTC/Psych.
I could almost bet anything that she wont be paying that for that visit.......

No, she's probably not paying for it but I'm sure you and I are.

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So she's going to pay something like $500 for a laxative.

Kinda makes me wonder why the ER doesn't jump up and down for joy at these people. After all, it's the easiest money the hospital will ever make. :p

If she's one who actually pays, ROFLMHO.:lol2:

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Specializes in Tele, Acute.

And, next week she is going to come in and say "I think I dislocated my ****** and now I can't pee".:bugeyes:

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Specializes in LTC/SNF, Psychiatric, Pharmaceutical.
And, next week she is going to come in and say "I think I dislocated my ******* and now I can't pee".:bugeyes:

Kind of makes you wonder what her idea of, uh, "intimate relations", is like... I guess she never got The Talk.:chuckle

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Specializes in Med Surg/Tele/ER.

Its just like we say in our ER....There is no cure for stupid! :lol2: :no:

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Specializes in Telemetry, Case Management.

I bet she watched the rerun of "House" where a patient had a "falling kidney" and embroidered on the story. Although I think his patient didn't have any excretory problems!!

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Specializes in CNA, Surgical, Pediatrics, SDS, ER.

She definatly was not the sharpest tool in the shed. I was wondering how she could even walk w/ a dislocated kidney!!

It took everything I had not to laugh in her face.

I'm quite sure she was an honored "Gold Card" member.

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She definatly was not the sharpest tool in the shed. I was wondering how she could even walk w/ a dislocated kidney!!

dang guys, don'tchya know?

her kidney 'slipped' into her abdominal cavity, finding its way through the friable, colonic tissue and lodged itself in her rectal vault.

that was cinchy to figure out.

sheesh...

leslie:nurse:

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Specializes in Ortho, Neuro, Detox, Tele.

yeah.......maybe she should stop trying to wrestle with her son....and if her son is big enough to dislocate her kidney....were they doing some WWE style flying atomic wedgies at the house....or just doing some greco-roman throws?

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This whole thread has made my lungs shift and now I can't think.

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Specializes in ICU. Med/Surg: Ortho, Neuro, & Cardiac.

HAHAHAHA!

Thanks, I really needed the laugh. :-)

This reminds of a time when we had the elderly (confused) wife of a patient fall in the bathroom. I walk in there and there is BM *all over* the floor, her pants, and her shoes.

Of course, we called the ER because she thought she broke a bone and when the transport tech came up to get her, his eyes got really big. She looks up and says, "Well, guys, I think my colon caved in."

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