i just need to vent and I need someone to talk to me. I'm just feeling very upset right now and I want out of nursing..
I graduated with my associates a year and a half ago and have been practicing as a RN for about a year now and I absolutely hate it.
I work on an observation floor and everyone's super helpful but I'm starting to just dread coming into work and that's never happened before.
I'm 22 years old and I'm starting to realize what I want out of life and it's becoming more and more clear that it's not this. I'm starting to realize that I want a family and nursing is far from friendly hours. I don't want to be working on holidays, weekends, or especially nights. I know some parents make it work but I don't want to be one of those people.
im starting to resent people and I've never been like that before. I have no patience anymore and I'm just burnt out.
Ultimately, I just feel like a failure. I went to school for something that I thought I would absolutely love. I thought I wanted this. I worked so hard for my RN and I'm giving it all up.
I'm sorry for ranting and I know that these paragraphs don't flow easily... I'm just blurting out all my feelings at this point..
The sad thing is, I don't think I'll be good at anything else. I'm not sure what else id do if I wasn't a nurse.
How do I tell my family and especially my boyfriend that I love so very much that it's not for me without looking like a huge failure? I also don't want my partner to leave me over it.
Actually, if you have infants or small kids, nursing hours are pretty nice. Working PMs allowed me to take my little guy to library hours, swim classes, and other activities happening during the week that if I worked banker's hours I would have not been able to. When the kid gets to be school-aged, that may be a different beast.
It has also spared me a few trips to the inlaws around the holidays. LOL.
anyway, just adding perspective that it isn't all bad.
Do you work nights? I found that I get pretty depressed working nights. Once I switched to days/pms, I was a whole new person. On nights, I also wanted to leave nursing completely. On nights, I did start my journey in grad school to get out of bedside staffing. I get it. But before you leave entirely, there are likely adjustments you can make to make your life a bit happier. Best of luck to you.
You've got some really excellent advice on this thread. I just wanted to add that healthcare is my second career. Edit just a few words/phrases and you've got exactly how I felt about teaching. You can google what most teachers think about their "summers/holidays off" so i wont waste space here, but the worst part was that I could never go home and just be home. I would make lesson plans, research activities, grade the mountain of papers I had to grade, make tests and other materials.....and on and on. I could never be present at home - I took work home with me.
Nursing has some downsides, but my favorite part is that I clock out, and the most I ever do at home is spend about a half hour journaling for myself if something stressful or significant happens. I worked most every holiday at the first facility I worked at, then transferred to another that had a great rotating holiday schedule, so I only worked 1/3 of the holidays in a year. I had some great "second Christmases" with my family the day after Christmas, when I got off work! Even within the Med/surg world, there are different ways of distributing the workload.
I echo the others: take some time to think about this. It's easier to find a job, when you have a job. Maybe take a little mental-health vacation, look into some other facilities/specialties....make a plan! And if you decide it's not for you and you want to go into another field, know that I did it in my mid-20's. It's do-able....but not fun!
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
Hi Everyone,
i just need to vent and I need someone to talk to me. I'm just feeling very upset right now and I want out of nursing..
I graduated with my associates a year and a half ago and have been practicing as a RN for about a year now and I absolutely hate it.
I work on an observation floor and everyone's super helpful but I'm starting to just dread coming into work and that's never happened before.
I'm 22 years old and I'm starting to realize what I want out of life and it's becoming more and more clear that it's not this. I'm starting to realize that I want a family and nursing is far from friendly hours. I don't want to be working on holidays, weekends, or especially nights. I know some parents make it work but I don't want to be one of those people.
im starting to resent people and I've never been like that before. I have no patience anymore and I'm just burnt out.
Ultimately, I just feel like a failure. I went to school for something that I thought I would absolutely love. I thought I wanted this. I worked so hard for my RN and I'm giving it all up.
I'm sorry for ranting and I know that these paragraphs don't flow easily... I'm just blurting out all my feelings at this point..
The sad thing is, I don't think I'll be good at anything else. I'm not sure what else id do if I wasn't a nurse.
How do I tell my family and especially my boyfriend that I love so very much that it's not for me without looking like a huge failure? I also don't want my partner to leave me over it.
What should I do?
Sincerely,
a very sad young RN
Nursing has very family friendly hours. In fact, you can make it work no matter what type of schedule your partner has. You can schedule yourself opposite your partner for child care reasons and rarely have to hire a baby sitter. Or you can schedule yourself for maximum time with partner. Twelve hour shifts means you only have to work three days a week -- plenty of time with your partner. Weekends, nights and holidays are probably a given for the first few years, but after that you'll have enough experience to qualify for those jobs with banker's hours.
First of all I'm not going to recommend you do or don't follow my suggestions.. That is up to you to decide... However let me start with some suggestions that maybe will work for you.
My first suggestion would be to do something like what I do which is working at a small group home for the disabled. My house has 6 residents, no behavioral patients and they are extremely easy to get attached to and enjoy seeing everyday. I get to wear (almost) whatever i want to work everyday, we take them to movies, sporting events, concerts, shopping and other fun things while getting paid. My job has tons of downtime and is the absolute farthest thing from being stressful that u can possibly imagine. The one negative is that we don't use nursing skills very much. No IVs, no caths, mostly we just assess and make sure they're alive and breathing and interact with them. Its a fun enjoyable job that pays decent and my hours are 7-3 (flexible) Mon-Friday.
My other suggestion would be to try to find something like another poster mentioned on another topic and that's utilization management from home doing pre authorizations for insurance and stuff. Most of the job listings i found want about 2 years experience in nursing which it sounds like you may come close to or meet that requirement. Its no patient care or interaction really and mostly just evaluating charts. This may not be exciting but it surely wouldn't be stressful and they usuallly allow working from home with flexible hours typically Monday thru Friday.
i just need to vent and I need someone to talk to me. I'm just feeling very upset right now and I want out of nursing..
I graduated with my associates a year and a half ago and have been practicing as a RN for about a year now and I absolutely hate it.
I work on an observation floor and everyone's super helpful but I'm starting to just dread coming into work and that's never happened before.
I'm 22 years old and I'm starting to realize what I want out of life and it's becoming more and more clear that it's not this. I'm starting to realize that I want a family and nursing is far from friendly hours. I don't want to be working on holidays, weekends, or especially nights. I know some parents make it work but I don't want to be one of those people.
im starting to resent people and I've never been like that before. I have no patience anymore and I'm just burnt out.
Ultimately, I just feel like a failure. I went to school for something that I thought I would absolutely love. I thought I wanted this. I worked so hard for my RN and I'm giving it all up.
I'm sorry for ranting and I know that these paragraphs don't flow easily... I'm just blurting out all my feelings at this point..
The sad thing is, I don't think I'll be good at anything else. I'm not sure what else id do if I wasn't a nurse.
How do I tell my family and especially my boyfriend that I love so very much that it's not for me without looking like a huge failure? I also don't want my partner to leave me over it.
What should I do?
Sincerely,
a very sad young RN
Your feelings are very common unfortunately due to the nature of the job and the chronic under staffing of many facilities. Start applying for clinic jobs or outpatient surgery jobs the hours are good and usually no weekends. The nurses I know that work in these jobs are the happiest. You will probably be pleasantly surprised that nursing isn't bad. Then you can determine if you want to get your BSN once you know you want to stay in nursing. If you do check out WGU Western Governors University very affordable online RN to BSN program. It might just be the cheapest out there. Since you are young getting your BSN will make you more marketable, but decide if you want to stay in nursing after you try a non bedside job first! Good luck to you!
I have been a nurse for 25 years. I did not get my AS degree until I was 33. At 50 I graduated with my BSN. It is never to late. At your age I started working as an EMT on special races and worked as a medical assistant in GYN, Cardiac Peds while going to school and raising my children. Nursing was all I wanted to do since I was real young.
I truly know what you are talking about. I have had many a day wondering why I was in this field. Give yourself time to adjust and get to know the field. I went into Med/Surg right away because I was always told that a good nurse was a med/surg nurse. It did not limit me. I did Ortho/Neuro, Cardiac, Oncology, adults, Peds and return transport, preceptor and a LVN Clinical instructor for 2 colleges and now corrections.
Give yourself time. Work to get experience. It is hard work and not always gratifying. But every once in a while a situation comes up that will remind you why you got into this field. You are a young nurse but keep it up. I am on your side. YOU CAN DO THIS!!. I literally cried as I went to work in a small town in Oregon. The nurses there ate their young. Big Bullies!!!! This happens more than I would like to see but REMEMBER there are so many fields of nursing you can go into. I never stopped expanding my fields. Keep me informed how you are doing. DO NOT GIVE UP.. You will fit in somewhere you just need to get experience. God will give you strength. He gave me my life of nursing.
WOW!! This is the most productive thread I have read in forever.
OP got to vent and put out there what is stressing her out.
Many really good answers and suggestions. No judgement, over the top sympathy or criticism that nursing just chews people up and spits them out (for the most part).
I can only summarize what I heard. Don't do anything rash. Take a vacation to separate yourself from the daily stress and think about what you want and don't want. With your year of basic nursing experience, you have positioned yourself to easily seek other employment in nursing. There are many fields of nursing that will meet differing needs for a social life or to have a family. Less physical stress, more fun or challenging in a good way, better or more flexible hours are just a few.
It seems a shame to waste a perfectly good education but you can do that too. Nursing isn't for everybody. Certainly don't do it to please someone else.
Best to you.
(I kinda like the Endoscopy and Outpatient Surgery options.)
PLEASE do not beat yourself up if you suspect nursing is not for you. Real world nursing is a much different animal than what is described/experienced during nursing school. You are so young and you have so much time to switch careers; you don't want to spend time in a career that makes you ill. There's no harm in trying a different type of clinical environment to see if maybe the particular unit just isn't a good fit. And if you take the time to experiment and you're still not happy, then try something else, in or outside of nursing. I wrestled for years and years not being happy in nursing, and coming from a family in which not liking your job is no reason to quit, it was extremely difficult to leave horrible situations. After 2+ decades, I've found something that I don't mind doing in the realm of nursing, but boy, I wish I could have that time back. You're right, a lot of nursing jobs are really tough on family life; you have to make huge sacrifices, and flexibility is becoming more rare. BUT, there are still areas like clinic nursing, or UM/UR which are still stressful in their own ways but allow you to have "normal" working hours and family life and still use all of the critical thinking/assessment skills you've attained thus far. I feel for you, I really do, because I've been in your shoes. You are not alone in your feelings, believe me. Just keep plugging away and trying different areas/roles until you feel better about a decision to keep pursuing nursing or to leave. Time is very much on your side at this point. Good luck!!!
Specializes in Med/Surg/Infection Control/Geriatrics.
OP does not have to pursue a BSN to "do Public Health (health department), school nursing, home health, case management, utilization review, telephone triage, and some management positions." All of these positions are available to the nurse with an ADN.
That's true. And frankly, she sounds too overwhelmed right now to be considering further education. There are 8 hour positions out there, O.P. Start perusing the ads. But it may not hurt to sit down with your manager and share with him/her how you are feeling. You owe them that.
OP- you mentioned you are feeling burned out. In addition to the other awesome suggestions in this thread I want to throw out there to suggest you look at whether you are practicing good self care. Are you taking your breaks? Spending time with friends and interests outside of work? Eating well, getting some physical activity, getting enough sleep? All of these things can make a huge difference.
Also, does your workplace have an EAP service? Using EAP doesn't mean something is "wrong" with a person, EAP also can offer tools/ resources for self-improvement. Compassion fatigue (which can be mistaken for burnout) education and resiliency education can be huge assets. In nursing the focus tends to fall towards taking care of others (which is super important) but it doesn't put the same emphasis on self care.
Another thing I've found helpful is volunteering as a nurse in a whole different area of nursing. I spend a week each summer as a camp nurse. Totally refreshes me towards nursing.
Side note - i found my niche in nursing in the last area I ever thought I'd love. And a great schedule to boot - I work Tuesday - Friday 2nd shift with every weekend off. My employer has several different scheduling options.
Specializes in ED, Cardiac-step down, tele, med surg.
Well, you're 22, so you've got time to do something else. You'll probably need to get more education in something, at least a bachelors degree that leads to a career to earn a decent living. I would talk to a career counselor about things you might like to do that will give you the rewards you seek. The days of finding a husband or wife that will pay all the bills is long gone as most people like their partner to have a stable well paying job. I wouldn't count on meeting someone and having them take care of you in order to have a family and being a stay at home mom forever. This can happen for sure but is less common these days.
If I were in your shoes, I would use my free time trying to find out what I really wanted to do and applying my energy towards that goal and not only vent and staying stagnant; especially if I was still in my 20s. You can still change your career and find something with better hours and have a family, so it's not like you've lost anything. Just get motivated to try to achieve your goals and go for it.
But it may not hurt to sit down with your manager and share with him/her how you are feeling.
Great suggestion - good managers care about their employees and often have suggestions or can present options that the employee may not be aware of. Just getting some support can make a huge difference!
)
cleback
1,381 Posts
Actually, if you have infants or small kids, nursing hours are pretty nice. Working PMs allowed me to take my little guy to library hours, swim classes, and other activities happening during the week that if I worked banker's hours I would have not been able to. When the kid gets to be school-aged, that may be a different beast.
It has also spared me a few trips to the inlaws around the holidays. LOL.
anyway, just adding perspective that it isn't all bad.
Do you work nights? I found that I get pretty depressed working nights. Once I switched to days/pms, I was a whole new person. On nights, I also wanted to leave nursing completely. On nights, I did start my journey in grad school to get out of bedside staffing. I get it. But before you leave entirely, there are likely adjustments you can make to make your life a bit happier. Best of luck to you.