I Desperately Want Out

[toxiktraktor]

Hi Everyone,

i just need to vent and I need someone to talk to me. I'm just feeling very upset right now and I want out of nursing..

I graduated with my associates a year and a half ago and have been practicing as a RN for about a year now and I absolutely hate it.

I work on an observation floor and everyone's super helpful but I'm starting to just dread coming into work and that's never happened before.

I'm 22 years old and I'm starting to realize what I want out of life and it's becoming more and more clear that it's not this. I'm starting to realize that I want a family and nursing is far from friendly hours. I don't want to be working on holidays, weekends, or especially nights. I know some parents make it work but I don't want to be one of those people.

im starting to resent people and I've never been like that before. I have no patience anymore and I'm just burnt out.

Ultimately, I just feel like a failure. I went to school for something that I thought I would absolutely love. I thought I wanted this. I worked so hard for my RN and I'm giving it all up.

I'm sorry for ranting and I know that these paragraphs don't flow easily... I'm just blurting out all my feelings at this point..

The sad thing is, I don't think I'll be good at anything else. I'm not sure what else id do if I wasn't a nurse.

How do I tell my family and especially my boyfriend that I love so very much that it's not for me without looking like a huge failure? I also don't want my partner to leave me over it.

What should I do?

Sincerely,

a very sad young RN

[NurseCoachHeather]

Hey there, I can totally relate to this as I once felt very similar.

First of all, you've GOT this. This is a hard time, but you WILL make it through and come out stronger because of it.

[Nurse Beth, MSN]

Treatment for Burnout: Make a Change

A small change could be something as simple volunteering to precept.

Best wishes, Nurse Beth

[gonzo1, ASN, RN]

First off; You actually staying on the job in med/surg for well over a year. That's quite an accomplishment. You've got your "one year of nursing" under your belt which makes you a better candidate for jobs going forward. I have several friends that went through 3-4 jobs their first year because they just couldn't stand it.

I worked one for about 3 months and then quit and went somewhere else where I stayed for about 5 years.

When I feel overwhelmed I remind myself that nurses who work 12 hour shifts only work 12 days a month compared with 20 hours for the general public.

You can give yourself lots of time off without taking vacation days by working early in the week, one week, and late in the week the next week.

That said, there are hundreds of jobs in nursing that are not 12 hours, you do not have to work at the bedside. Perhaps do a little research into other nursing jobs, maybe try a couple of other nursing positions. Worst case scenario, you can support yourself working as a nurse while you pursue education in another field.

In retrospect, I think I would have gone into the military, be a nun, or law enforcement. But as I've been working for over 45 years now, it's a little late for me to switch. Interestingly enough, I went into nursing for the money and job security, quite sure I would hate it, and instead ended up loving it with all my heart.

[Ldy76]

Hi there,

First all of all, not all nursing fields have to work holidays and weekends. However, with that you have to sacrifice something such as working 5 days a week. Considering you're pretty much a new nurse, there are certain things you have to "suck up". Nursing is not a job for the thin skinned. Patience and determination goes a long way. You're young and have time to start a family. Find a nursing position that makes you happy then start a family. And meditate :)

[Mamagoofy28]

I felt the exact same way you do. I have been a nurse foe about 2 1/2 years, I'm just now starting to feel comfortable. My first job had me feel I like I made a horrible mistake on becoming a nurse. I left that position and went somewhere else and I have never been happier. It's normal to feel the way you do. Don't make any decisions right now. Think about it, talk it over with your partner. A good partner will support your professional decisions no matter what. Maybe just a different floor will help. An observation floor is very hectic. As for holidays, weekends and nights...that's part of the job but there are positions that don't require them. Seek them out. Don't give up yet, see what other options are out there, talk with your partner and make a rational no emotional decision.

[Steffy44]

Not necessarily, depending on the location. Lots of employers do require BSNs for many of those positions. If one is wiling to move wherever in the country you can find a job in one of those specializations, sure, it's probably possible. But a lot more likely with a BSN.

Yep...in my state you have to have a BSN for almost all of them. Plus many years of experience.

[Gina s, RN]

I felt the same way in the beginning. Then I found a job that allowed me to be a mom and work full time without weekends. The trade off was lower pay. But I made it work. Keep looking, you will find something.

[DalekRN]

There's always the option of going back to school for a master's, even a non nursing masters.

[RNikkiF]

I think it is very telling that you can't imagine doing anything other than being a nurse. That tells me that you're probably in the right field, but maybe not the right specialty. Maybe you could work as a float nurse to help find your specialty? As for weekends and holidays... that's part of hospital nursing. There are lots if other specialties that don't require it. Look up Donna Cardillo. Shes a nurse who is a motivational speaker and career "guru". There's a lot of information on her site about different nursing options. Good luck. Don't give up. Take some time off for you. And if your bf leaves you over your career... he wasn't the one. You don't love someone for their job. Wishing you the best! Keep us posted.

[DallasRN]

And if your bf leaves you over your career... he wasn't the one. You don't love someone for their job. Wishing you the best! Keep us posted.

Absolutely!! I would question the motives of a BF who would want me to spend half of my waking hours in a job that wasn't making me happy or fulfilling.

[BadwomanM]

Not every area will use an ADN for UR, case management, etc. I've been a case manager for 15 years and had to have my BSN to get the job. I also was a wound RN which required it, UR nurse that required it (or progress towards it) and a clinical instructor where it was the minimum requirement. Our system is moving toward only hiring BSN or those with progress toward a BSN.