Do any of you have trouble caring about what patients, residents, or anybody does anymore?
Today the nurse on 3rd shift was telling me that so and so just will not get out of bed anymore. All I could do is look at her and say I do not care.
If she wants to lay in that bed and rot let her. I have talked until I am blue in the face with this A&O X 3 resident and she chooses to not get out of bed. I am sick and tired of teaching people and they do not do a single thing I ask them to do.
I think that the residents, management, and my co-workers have sucked the passion of nursing out of me to the point that I do not think that I will ever care about a whole lot again. The well of compassion is dry and I do not think that it will ever fill up again. Oh, I will give good nursing care to my residents and their needs will be met one way or another, but that little bit extra will not be there. This breaks my heart in a way, but I can no longer get enough energy to do anything about it.
What do the rest of you do when you can no longer give a care anymore?
It sounds to me like you have given way too much of yourself. Why are you upset that your teaching failed? You didn't fail; your resident is an adult and is making her informed decisions--you've informed her of the consequences. It's the old "you can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink" idea. I have residents like this too, just move on. It's that I don't care...it's that I refuse to work harder on their problems than they are...
Now my residents who are not A&O x3, that's different. Those residents need an advocate and someone to watch out for their safety and well being. Give what you have to give to them, and make sure you're saving enough energy for yourself.
Time for a vacation!
Do any of you have trouble caring about what patients, residents, or anybody does anymore? Today the nurse on 3rd shift was telling me that so and so just will not get out of bed anymore. All I could do is look at her and say I do not care. If she wants to lay in that bed and rot let her. I have talked until I am blue in the face with this A&O X 3 resident and she chooses to not get out of bed. I am sick and tired of teaching people and they do not do a single thing I ask them to do. I think that the residents, management, and my co-workers have sucked the passion of nursing out of me to the point that I do not think that I will ever care about a whole lot again. The well of compassion is dry and I do not think that it will ever fill up again. Oh, I will give good nursing care to my reisidents and their needs will be met one way or another, but that little bit extra will not be there. This breaks my heart in a way, but I can no longer get enough energy to do anything about it.
What do the rest of you do when you can no longer give a care anymore?
Specializes in Acute Care Cardiac, Education, Prof Practice.
Nursing for me is an ever evolving process.
I recently discovered that my best friend was actually propagating some of my confidence loss at work. We talked it out, and I let her know what it was that was effecting me, and we are working on resolving it.
I also started arranging my schedule so that each month I get six days off in a row. This allows me to get lots of things done at home and to live on the day side for awhile.
This doesn't mean I am not pursuing other options. I am enrolling in school to complete my BSN so I can get off the floor, however these changes and reevaluations help make my day to day a lot better.
You know what is best for you. I can relate to not wanting interaction with other people besides my family. I do not like to be around a bunch of people when I'm off work. I just want to chill out at home with my hubby and kids. I think that our psyche is so darned expended from being around difficult people that we want to avoid any kind of confrontations or any kind of interaction that requires us to have to have any kind of empathy for others.
We live in a small town and I dread going to the grocery store or local fast food place because I invariably run into someone that has to tell me about soandso's health issues or someone died. There's this one man I dread seeing because he's like a walking obituary, he tells you everyone that has died within the last 50 freaking years!!!! ARGH! Yeah, I'm kinda weird too.
We should celebrate the "weird", lol. I actually think it's perfectly NORMAL and acceptable to not want to deal with any other member of humanity after a few long shifts. Don't be so hard on yourself; do what is best for you. If you don't, you won't be able to care for anyone at all.
It sounds like you have really cared about doing a good job and the chronic stress has exhausted your inner resources. I really do think of this profession from a different point of view. Coming from another background, I think of patients/residents from a "points plus" perspective. I do care about doing a good job, but I think of the pt/rt I have helped--not the few that I could not--for whatever the reason(s). I know my limitations in this profession and as long as I have done my best, that will always do. I can be at peace with myself knowing that I helped many, but not all. For me that is a unrealistic expectation. This world is not perfect, it is the next! Blessings and be kind to yourself as you recharge.
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
i am taking some time off soon. however, i have been feeling this way for about 6 months now, so i am not sure that i will feel better afterwards.
i just do not understand this because when i worked as an aide i did not feel this way. i worked so hard to become a nurse and i just do not have that passion for it anymore. in fact, it is becoming so bad that on my days off i can not stand having to interact with people. of course, i love my children and husband, they are the only exception to the no people rule. i do not want to be with friends or in the general population due to the effort i have to put forth to tolerate them. everyone just wants a piece of me and i have nothing else to give. i am so weird.
sounds to me like burnout. a vacation might help. so might a change of shift, a change of job or even a bigger focus on your life outside of work. good luck!
Congratulations.. you are experiencing burnout. A change will do some good. Vacation time, seminars, anything that can help you detach for a bit and come back to the job with a fresh attitude.
I am taking some time off soon. However, I have been feeling this way for about 6 months now, so I am not sure that I will feel better afterwards.
I just do not understand this because when I worked as an aide I did not feel this way. I worked so hard to become a nurse and I just do not have that passion for it anymore. In fact, it is becoming so bad that on my days off I can not stand having to interact with people. Of course, I love my children and husband, they are the only exception to the no people rule. I do not want to be with friends or in the general population due to the effort I have to put forth to tolerate them. Everyone just wants a piece of me and I have nothing else to give. I am so weird.
First of all, you are NOT weird. As other posters have stated, you may be burned out due to the demands of your job. You mentioned feeling drained because of unmotivated residents who refuse care, co-workers and management. Plus, you work nights, right? Any ONE of those factors can cause someone to feel burned out and you're trying to deal with all of them at once. Of course you're drained. Plus, you're trying to get used to the RN role---and the increased responsibility---which is why being a licensed nurse is more stressful than being a CNA. Not that being a CNA is stress-free---not by any means! But as a CNA, you're responsible for yourself and your residents. As a nurse, you're responsible for everyone on your team.
Also, when you were a CNA and a student, you were working toward the goal of becoming a nurse. Now, you've achieved that goal and maybe you feel there's nothing to which you can look forward. Being a nursing student is tough work but there's also that wonderful, heady feeling that you're learning---you get feedback from your instructors and whenever you pass a test or assignment. As a nurse, though, that constant feedback isn't there. In fact, sometimes the only feedback you get is negative; you don't hear when you do well, like you did as a student. You only hear about it when you make a mistake or someone's unhappy. That's sure to put a drain on anyone's enthusiasm for the profession.
Yet another factor is that not only are you a caregiver at work, you are also a caregiver to your family. You know, I love my family dearly but there have been times---especially when I was a single mom---that I felt absolutely drained by their needs. I was going to school and working and trying to be both a mother and a father to my kids---and I felt that there was absolutely nothing left for me. Even now that I'm remarried and my husband is a wonderful stepfather---I still feel tapped out by my family's needs. I love my husband but I need more privacy and alone time than he does---so that's a challenge. If I don't have time for myself, to enjoy my hobbies or just read or goof off on the computer, I get cranky. I need "me" time. Now, tonight I was trying to get to sleep when the cat---the CAT---crawled onto my face and started meowing. I was like, okay, she-devil, what do YOU need from me? (Cat food. Sigh.) And now, of course, I can't get back to sleep. Husband's lying there, snoring. The cat never would have awakened him for a midnight snack.
Sometimes I think we women have more difficulty taking time for ourselves and we get burned out from caring about the needs of others. I don't mean to sound sexist but it seems to me that most men I know---husband and kids included---have an easier time taking what they need for themselves and they're better able to enforce their personal boundaries. Maybe it's the way we're all socialized---I don't know. But while men do get burned out, it doesn't seem like they get quite as bad as women often do.
I think you're going to be okay because you're asking these questions and asking for help. If you really didn't care about nursing or your residents, you probably would not have cared enough to ask for some input from others.
Please---take care of yourself! Whatever is going on right now, you will get through it.
SunnyAndrsn
561 Posts
It sounds to me like you have given way too much of yourself. Why are you upset that your teaching failed? You didn't fail; your resident is an adult and is making her informed decisions--you've informed her of the consequences. It's the old "you can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink" idea. I have residents like this too, just move on. It's that I don't care...it's that I refuse to work harder on their problems than they are...
Now my residents who are not A&O x3, that's different. Those residents need an advocate and someone to watch out for their safety and well being. Give what you have to give to them, and make sure you're saving enough energy for yourself.
Time for a vacation!