I am always so quiet and reserved!!! But ever since I started this job (from hell) 3 months ago, one nurse who I'll refer to as Amy has been nasty to me since day 11. I said day 11 because I only had 10 days of orientation before I was by myself.
She works from 7pm until 7am. I have to give her report when she comes in and then when I relieve her, if we have the same patients. In report, she drills me. And if she finds one little error in a policy and procedure mishap on my part, she won't drop it. She goes on and on about my mistake. She talks to me like I'm 5, she makes snide remarks, acts as if this is only a 12-hour job and gets mad if she has to do something that was ordered on my shift - i.e., a dressing change, start a new IV, etc. And basically, she's just a all-around "beetch." One nurse "warned" me about her after my first encounter with her on day 11; the nurse that warned me told me how Amy does not like new people and she tests them. And that she made one nurse cry. Ever since day 11, I have grinned and taken her crap and it has made me very tired. The lackadaisacal management on my unit has made me very tired (new thread there). So the other night, I just had:
My 12 hour shift was approaching 14 hours after I gave Amy a 1 hour report and tried to finish my charting. I was having a difficult time concentrating on my charting because she was being so nasty to me. She was mad because I filled out the wrong medical record number on a "sitter" form and she had to correct it (not a big deal). But, typical of Amy, she wouldn't let it go. She just kept rambling, and making remarks about how little mistakes lead to big mistakes, etc. I HAD it. I stood up and sternly told her to drop it:
"Amy, I made a minor mistake. I am only human, so just Drop it. Oh, like, You are soooo perfect, you have never made a mistake, AMy? I don't think you should be worried about my mistake, instead, worry about your patients and start assesssing them! Your shift started close to 2 hours ago."
Needless to say, nearly a week later, she is now ignoring me. It just goes to show how petty she is. I was told that she doesn't want to come in and take any of my patients if at all possible, because she doesn't want report from me. I don't know how management can ignore this!! She went to management, I don't know what they had to say about it because I haven't gone to them. It is over. I dealt with it and I didn't need to run to them. I think that was professional of me. Management has not saud anything to me about it, but I overheard my manager telling Amy in a frusrated tone, "You guys work the same weekend, you are going to have to communicate with one another. You have to communicate." I don't know if they were talking about me, but probably.
Way to go girl!! you stood up for yourself! I thought you did a great job.
nurses like this are everywhere you go. there is always "one" in every bunch sotospeak. they spend their time looking for mistakes others make but never look at themselves. and the ones that do this are usually not good nurses at all.
Ah, just look at her and say "I dont have time for this. Im here to give you report so you can start your shift, now can we continue so I can finish mine and go home?" Be nice but also be frank. Eventually she will hopefully see that her actions are useless and childish because YOU are being mature.
Specializes in LTC,Hospice/palliative care,acute care.
nearly a week later, she is now ignoring me. It just goes to show how petty she is. I was told that she doesn't want to come in and take any of my patients if at all possible, because she doesn't want report from me. I don't know how management can ignore this!! She went to management, I don't know what they had to say about it because I haven't gone to them. It is over. I dealt with it and I didn't need to run to them. I think that was professional of me. Management has not saud anything to me about it, but I overheard my manager telling Amy in a frusrated tone, "You guys work the same weekend, you are going to have to communicate with one another. You have to communicate." I don't know if they were talking about me, but probably.
Do you think I was right in my approach?
Good for you! It takes some of us YEARS to grow testicles and do what you did.I think you handled it very well. Hand her a shovel and let her keep on digging.Next time you have to give her report make frequent eye contact and take the lead.If she interrupts say something like " Let me finish and then if you still have questions I'll answer them" Don't let her suck the life out of you and stretch report to an hour .....The fact that management has not stepped in shows they pprove of the way you handled yourself,IMHO
Good for you! I can't stand bullies. Had two night turn nurses start giving a new girl a really hard time, to the point she shook whenever they were both on. I walked into the med room one time and overheard one of their conversations and said, Ok, you made your point, now stop it. They started again (over a very minor issue) and I first looked one then the other in the eye and said: Listen, neither one of you are perfect. Need I remind you about what YOU did when you were new and the mistakes you made? Did we attack or did we say, it can happen to anyone and lets move past it? That shut them both up, because their blunders were pretty big.
I am surprised that your manager has not stepped in. Workplace bullies in healthcare are an acknowledged source of patient safety issues.... failure to speak up may endanger a patient's life.
Obviously I've not worked on raindrop's unit (At least I don't think I have:wink2:)., so I don't know her manager's way of handling workplace conflicts. But I wanted to respond to your comment.
In my experience, having a manager intervene in this type of conflict (overly-critical, aggressive, verbal bullying, etc.) does more harm than good. When I witnessed this behavior on my unit or a staff nurse came to me complaining of it, my first advice was always for the victim to get the bully alone and let her know (in no uncertain terms) that the behavior would not be tolerated. My advice regarding one particularly nasty staff nurse was to suggest that the victim should tell the bully to "you-know-what-off." (Despite having a long history of problem behavior, I was not allowed to fire this nurse.)
Was it professional? No. But bullies don't respond to professional suggestions. If they did, they wouldn't resort to bullying in the first place.
If a manager intervenes for the victim, the bullying will get worse. So, if the above suggestion doesn't work and the manager must get involved, it is imperative to do so in a way that does not create the impression that the victim requested the manager's assistance.
Well, bullying is JCAHO's new hobby horse. They have decreed that facilities must have a policy to address bullying in the workplace, by any party, and this policy must be enforced. So look for lots of changes here. I would love to think they will be good changes, but looking at the record of how JCAHO has "helped" the hospital working environment, I'm not too optimistic.
Ah, just look at her and say "I dont have time for this. Im here to give you report so you can start your shift, now can we continue so I can finish mine and go home?" Be nice but also be frank. Eventually she will hopefully see that her actions are useless and childish because YOU are being mature.
southernbeegirl, BSN, RN
903 Posts
Way to go girl!! you stood up for yourself! I thought you did a great job.
nurses like this are everywhere you go. there is always "one" in every bunch sotospeak. they spend their time looking for mistakes others make but never look at themselves. and the ones that do this are usually not good nurses at all.
ya did good, kid!