I couldn't believe what I was hearing!

Nurses Relations

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Just when I think I've heard it all from patients' family members...

We have a young patient with Downs syndrome on our Med/Surg unit right now; he is very sweet to take care of and has a nice smile but unfortunately he has expressive aphasia and will yell out at random times even with a one-to-one sitter, he has been on our unit before and this is his normal baseline.

Anyway, I was on my way home from work when the son of one of my other patients came up to me, pointed at the room with our Downs patient and said "when can we get rid of that nuisance, it's been 2 days already!?" I just kind of looked at him (I was tired, it was the end of a LONG 12 hour shift, after all). The son went on to say:

"This is a public hospital, we should not have to be subjected to that kind of harassment. People like that (again pointing at the other patients' room) need to be removed from the rest of us. My father doesn't deserve to listen to that *expletive*. Get that thing out of here and away from us normal folks."

I had a lot I WANTED to say at this point, but I just apologized again for the noise, and told the son that I was sorry, but as this was a public hospital we cannot refuse to treat anyone, all patients who come to us receive the treatment they need. I then walked away.

What I wish I could've said but couldn't due to our customer service model, was "How DARE you? What is "normal" Who are you to judge who is or is not a person (calling the mentally handicapped patient a 'thing') So you want to segregate all mentally challenged people away from the general public, great idea (sarcasm) Do you know who else thought that was a great idea? Adolf Hitler."

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Specializes in Hospital Education Coordinator.

he probably felt guilty about not wanting to be there. His problem, not yours. I take the passive-agressive approach on these situations because otherwise I would be in jail.

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Specializes in LTC.

Too sad.

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UN BUH LEAVE ABLE!!! People can be so callous and heartless. I'm just flaberghasted...not sure I could have handled that situation with the grace that you were able to use. :madface:

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We had a patient's mom that threw a fit about leaving her daughter alone on the unit with a disabled father on the unit. So don't leave your kid alone. Solved. People are RIDICULOUS. Until hospitals allow nurses to just smack stupid people upside the head, nothing's going to change.

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I think I'd want to answer in a way that made it obvious to the speaker what a donkey's rear end he was. I'd follow this up with, "Our mission is to treat all patients with respect and our finest efforts...."

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Specializes in ICU, Telemetry.

Yeah, I'd want to smack the moron, too. Goes back to what I tell new nurses -- it's not the patients, it's the families that will drive you crazy...

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Specializes in Critical Care, Education.

Interesting thread. But - can we apply some basic conflict management principles here?

You need to separate the conversation from the underlying issue. To me, the real issue for the patient's son is concern about his father... no matter how badly he expressed it. If his father is being disturbed by noise (no matter what source) and unable to rest, it should also be a nursing concern. Would the OP have had the same reaction if the disruptive patient was acting out as a result of drug or ETOH withdrawal? If the son had used less offensive language?

We need to avoid knee-jerk reactions, no matter whether we feel we're on the side of the angels or not. Sometimes, people are just jerks, but we need to look beyond the jerky, offensive language and deal with the real issue.

IMHO, loud and disruptive patients (no matter what the cause) should always be in a private room or with a patient who will not be disturbed by them.

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Specializes in Critical Care, ED, Cath lab, CTPAC,Trauma.

Here's what I would say.....

I hear what your are saying and that you are concerned for your father's rest. You are correct that this is a public hospital ans we do treat the general public. If they don't come here there is not another place to go.....we care for ALL patients placed in our care to the best of our ability. But I see that you have concerns....let me call my supervisor, manager, patient care representative to see how the floor can best see to your fathers needs......smile and walk away.

This way the powers that be will hear first hand what a jerk this guy is so when he lodges his next complaint......they know what a jerk this guy is.....but I wouldn't apologize, I'd let the higher ups have that privilege.

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Specializes in ICU, Telemetry.

Good one Esme!

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Specializes in ORTHOPAEDICS-CERTIFIED SINCE 89.

Amen, ESME.

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Specializes in Med/Surg, Academics.

I reorganized your comments to be able to respond to them succinctly.

Interesting thread. But - can we apply some basic conflict management principles here?

You need to separate the conversation from the underlying issue. To me, the real issue for the patient's son is concern about his father... no matter how badly he expressed it. If his father is being disturbed by noise (no matter what source) and unable to rest, it should also be a nursing concern.

IMHO, loud and disruptive patients (no matter what the cause) should always be in a private room or with a patient who will not be disturbed by them.

We need to avoid knee-jerk reactions, no matter whether we feel we're on the side of the angels or not. Sometimes, people are just jerks, but we need to look beyond the jerky, offensive language and deal with the real issue.

I agree. Cohorting and putting loud patients as far away as possible from other patients is good, but the acoustics in most hospital units don't solve it completely, unfortunately. You can't close the door on AMS or DD patients without sitters, but you can on the others.

In this case, closing the door of the DD patient with a sitter and the other patient may have done the trick.

Would the OP have had the same reaction if the disruptive patient was acting out as a result of drug or ETOH withdrawal? If the son had used less offensive language.

I'll answer this honestly. No, I probably wouldn't have had the same reaction. However, I have requested room changes and cohorting to reduce the disturbance, regardless of the cause. Same nursing intervention; different internal/unsaid reaction to WNL family members or patients. I think it's normal to have a more protective reaction to the baseline vocalizations of DD patients.

BTW, I actually liked my last ETOH withdrawal. He was a funny, pleasant guy on day four, when he finally had 2/3rds of his wits about him.

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