Just when I think I've heard it all from patients' family members...
We have a young patient with Downs syndrome on our Med/Surg unit right now; he is very sweet to take care of and has a nice smile but unfortunately he has expressive aphasia and will yell out at random times even with a one-to-one sitter, he has been on our unit before and this is his normal baseline.
Anyway, I was on my way home from work when the son of one of my other patients came up to me, pointed at the room with our Downs patient and said "when can we get rid of that nuisance, it's been 2 days already!?" I just kind of looked at him (I was tired, it was the end of a LONG 12 hour shift, after all). The son went on to say:
"This is a public hospital, we should not have to be subjected to that kind of harassment. People like that (again pointing at the other patients' room) need to be removed from the rest of us. My father doesn't deserve to listen to that *expletive*. Get that thing out of here and away from us normal folks."
I had a lot I WANTED to say at this point, but I just apologized again for the noise, and told the son that I was sorry, but as this was a public hospital we cannot refuse to treat anyone, all patients who come to us receive the treatment they need. I then walked away.
What I wish I could've said but couldn't due to our customer service model, was "How DARE you? What is "normal" Who are you to judge who is or is not a person (calling the mentally handicapped patient a 'thing') So you want to segregate all mentally challenged people away from the general public, great idea (sarcasm) Do you know who else thought that was a great idea? Adolf Hitler."
Just to clarify, they were not roommates; both of the patients were in private rooms about three doors away from each other. I wish I could have moved them further apart per the son's request, but our unit was full.For what it's worth, I work nights and can say that both patients slept all night.
my husband is presently in wound care rehab and has a roommate with advanced dementia. this gentleman was formerly a farmer and owned a model dairy farm. he has a son whose first name is the same as my husband's. he was friends with my dad. when i visit, he
doesn't remember that i've been married 25 years, or that my dad died back in the seventies. he does remember my first name and connect me to my dad because i look so much like my dad did. he always wants to know why charlie (my dad) hasn't been in to visit and my/our best answer seems to be that my dad has been busy. reminding him that he died just upsets him even more.
he cries out and screams most of the night and absolutely nothing much settles him back down. nothing! when it gets too bad, herb goes to the living room area and sleeps in a recliner. that's his solution, but several families have complained...a lot. the nurses just remind the relatives that he isn't being that way deliberately. he's 94 and is confused. they do get him up and wheel him out to the nurses' station where they feed him bites of various things ormake him bacon and eggs. some nights, he milks the cows and delivers baby goats all night long.
i know not to call herb between about 8-9 p.m. because that's when his roomie generally falls asleep. i say, "what's the big deal?"
that may be me someday. who knows? i remind myself he isn't being that loud or sundowning on purpose. wish some others could just realize that. it's called simple humanity or christian charity.
I had planned to type a certain response when I thought that the two patients were roommates. But upon reading the clarification that these patients were THREE ROOMS apart, I can offer no 'benefit of the doubt'.
The patient's son was inexcusable in his complaint. While he may have felt those things, voicing them in that manner was inhuman.
For what it's worth, when I have faced a similar family member problem (usually roommates, though, is the problem), I say something like "Well, there were two choices of roommate for your dad: this fellow, or the demented old man who is constantly incontinent of stool and sometimes has been known to paint with it". Typically they opt to stay where they are
I see this as typical family/visitor behavvior. If you go elsewhere--restaurant, hotel, third world country slave plantation--people don't complain as much as visitors/family complain about nurses. It seems like they intentionally look for things to complain about, and the "uppity" the clientele, the more they complain. I had patients complain my sneakers were making too much noise while walking on carpet in the VIP area. My latest "high school degree doctor" family member complained that I tied her mom's restraints too tight because she almost pulled out her swan line, and I'm not talking moving her arm up a little bit. She was sitting up, and her hand was on the dressing.
Son had a point in that he's concerned about his father's environment: after all, his father is trying to recover from his own illness/surgery. Hearing the regular shouting/screaming of the Down Syndrome patient could provoke agitation and anxiety in other patients, as well as disrupting their own rest. It may have just done that in the case of son's dad.
Unfortunately, son's tact and sensitivity regarding disabled patients leaves a LOT to be desired. I am in no way excusing how he expressed his concerns. But that doesn't mean the son's concerns about his father's environment should automatically be written off because the son is an insensitive dolt.
Esme and HouTx gave some good answers in the first page of this thread. That's probably along the lines of how I would have handled it, though I don't think I would (could?) ever be as eloquent as Esme sounded.
The upset son was uncomfortable just being in the hospital. After 48 hrs of 2-4hr rounding, patients and caregivers wear thin, they get irritated easily and become hypersensitive. Perhaps the father's health condition was worsening or not improving, just like the noise in the hallway (whomever, whatever) remains constant, perhaps annoying, and not improving (or going away).
To hear agonizing pain, moaning, crying babies, or spastic mutterings no matter the cognition level, is no doubt stressful to the human condition and when combined with interrupted sleep cycles, poor nutrition, and hospitalization it causes irrational thoughts and behaviors.
Perhaps this is an an opportunity to provide Guided Imagery or Listening and Comforting Nursing techniques to the son who is clearly experiencing Impaired Discomfort.
Be mindful of the disruptive patient who is experiencing Deficient Diversional Activity and could be ambulated with assistance to a more appropriate area.
Contact the provider if abnormal activity persists...
Try guided imagry or listenting techniques or let him vent and coping skills my patooie. I would have told the soory s.o.b. that he was more than welcome to leave and there is the door and if he wants his fater to leave with him they are more than welcome to leave. By putting up with this behavior, justifying it, or by ignoring it we are just encouraging it. Even in stressful situations there has to be limits on behavior set and maintained.
sra27
19 Posts
Just to clarify, they were not roommates; both of the patients were in private rooms about three doors away from each other. I wish I could have moved them further apart per the son's request, but our unit was full.For what it's worth, I work nights and can say that both patients slept all night.