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I actually suggested to a pre req nursing student to find another profession and fast

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PhoenixTech, LPN

Specializes in Float. Has 3 years experience.

Off topic I know, but I couldn't resist. When I first read the poem I cracked up laughing. :yeah:After reading the posts that found it offensive I went back and read it again. I cracked up laughing! I'm not married, work, am in school and have a toddler. This poem summerized what my life is like on a daily basis. When I get a free day I cook a meal that we pick off of for the better part of the upcoming week. My sink is rarely empty, toys decorate the floor, laundry is an all day affair, and if my little one gets sick....forget about it.:eek: There's time off for the Dr. visit, money for a separate babysitter, medication schedules....whew! It goes on and on and by the time we get in from school @ approximately 9:45pm, all we want to see is the bed!

I wouldn't stop for anything because I know that these circumstances are temporary and an invaluable lesson for my child about perseverance and discipline. As for as the sexist interpretation, I think it adds to the strength of the woman. The fact that in reverse circumstance, she can hold down what her husband can't handle. The endurance and will to continue in the face of disapproval if you will. I guess it's all in interpretation. I enjoyed the poem, thought it was playful and if I could afford a printer, I'd hang it on my fridge.

I don't know how anybody is taking the disaproval with the poem as if we don't believe that this is the case for many women. I know that this is the case for many women, that's why I don't like it. My house is like that now and I'm not even in school yet. I work full time and so does my husband. We have 1 major cleaning day a week and with two kids under 5 it get's messy quick. Laundry piles up in no time, it's hard to keep up with. It's not the messiness of the house that made me not like it. It was the overall tone of the poem that I got out of it that I didn't like. We do all have different perceptions of it and maybe others didn't read it the way I did. It kind of added more guilt to me than I already have for not being able to keep up with the house the way it should be. I already have this issue at home and school doesn't even start for me until January. My husband helps at home a lot and we have a pretty equal partnership compared to many other relationships, but he still doesn't do as much as I do and it's been a cause of tension in our relationship in the past.

I just hate the fact that it's pretty near impossible these days to survive without both parents working, but the mom is still expected to pick up most the slack around the house.

AMEN!!!!!!!!!

I am not done yet, I know it will get harder, but compared to the things I have gone through and still go through in my life it doesn't compare.

I agree with both of you... I am even in an accelerated program and don't find it that terribly difficult. I have plenty of free time. Sure it requires some time management and getting your work done, but its really NOT that bad, I have had to deal with worse.

I don't know how anybody is taking the disaproval with the poem as if we don't believe that this is the case for many women. I know that this is the case for many women, that's why I don't like it. My house is like that now and I'm not even in school yet. I work full time and so does my husband. We have 1 major cleaning day a week and with two kids under 5 it get's messy quick. Laundry piles up in no time, it's hard to keep up with. It's not the messiness of the house that made me not like it. It was the overall tone of the poem that I got out of it that I didn't like. We do all have different perceptions of it and maybe others didn't read it the way I did. It kind of added more guilt to me than I already have for not being able to keep up with the house the way it should be. I already have this issue at home and school doesn't even start for me until January. My husband helps at home a lot and we have a pretty equal partnership compared to many other relationships, but he still doesn't do as much as I do and it's been a cause of tension in our relationship in the past.

I just hate the fact that it's pretty near impossible these days to survive without both parents working, but the mom is still expected to pick up most the slack around the house.

I know that you are aware that this is the case for many of us. I think that what we are trying convey is that it's not necessary to read so much seriousiness in to the poem. That fact that many women married or not are mostly responsible for children & home is why we think that it is funny. If we don't laugh at our situations we would cry and many of us would not have the GOD given strength to go on we would throw in the towel. Being able to find the humor in it is simply because we can relate. I don't think any of us would choose for our lives to be this way. In a perfect world everything would be perfect, the house would be taken care of, the kids would get more personal attention and spouses would do their fair share and do it as well as we do without a problem. Unfortunately it is not a perfect world, it is what it is. We simply choose to work harder and try not to dwell on those things that we feel guilty about too, bcs we know that we are doing the best we can and there is a light at the end of the tunnel and it is all worth it in the end. We all hate the fact too that everything falls mostly on moms, I have days where I say why me GOD it's not fair that it falls all on me. I get past it and move on for my own sanity and for my children. Life is stressful enough with out dwelling on something that you can't change. All you can do is lean on GOD and pray for the strength to get through, he always gets us through no matter what. Be proud of yourself that you are the mom that you can be and that GOD has given you the strength to handle all that you do. It's ok to hate the way things are, but try not to stress yourself over it. Take a break and laugh about it sometimes! Laughter is the best medicine........:icon_hug:

~Mi Vida Loca~RN, ASN, RN

Specializes in Emergency Dept. Trauma. Pediatrics. Has 6 years experience.

Thanks for the positive words Mi Vida Loca. I will be a 1st semester nursing student in the spring and I am so tired of hearing the negative. It's great to hear someone being positive.

Congratulations. The best thing you can do is not let the negativity get to you and remember what this meant to YOU. Surround yourself with a good group in school that are also positive and eager to learn and avoid the groups that do nothing but sit around and trash the program and the teachers and go in with the attitude of just doing the bare minimum to get by.

Anyway I wish you the best of luck.

:yeahthat: very well said ~mi vida loca~

chances are, if she's a cna, then she already knows all about demented, elderly people and incontinence. what say's more is that you think someone being exposed to all these 'horrible conditions' would turn them away from the profession. who's to say that the promise of 'easy money' is propelling their choice? further more, who made you the 'exposing angel of nursing'? it seems like the money was your motivating factor and it was you who got the dose of reality. :down:

eh, i think we have a bit of a misunderstanding here. though i probably should let this go, i like this place and don't wish to be misunderstood. allow me to explain myself further- no attacks to you. swords down.

chances are, if she's a cna, then she already knows all about demented, elderly people and incontinence.

i think you are a bit confused- i am not the op and did not talk to the cna. the people i talk to are college students, some dissatisfied with their current majors, many scared for their future financial situation in this crazy economy. they have no healthcare experience and many are drawn by the promise of easy bucks and security, a very few by the need to care and be needed. i have talked at length with several of them. they explained their motives and perceptions. sometimes the motives of a good nurse (i.e. caring) but more often than not, the perceptions have been off. one girl hoped to meet a doctor, one guy thought it was a cushy job- "answer a few call lights, fetch a few sodas, to the tune of 60k!". who here would agree? keep in mind that many people still have only a vague idea of what nurses do.

what say's more is that you think someone being exposed to all these 'horrible conditions' would turn them away from the profession.

i don't care either way what they do. they ask me what i know. i tell them. i also tell them good things since i know good things as well- the feeling you get when you've helped the patient relax, when you finally get them to open up and tell you how to help them- it's amazing. to some, it is not enough. i am not a recruiter and i do not respect recruiters' methods of hyping people up or playing to vanity and emotion. this job is great if its for you, but it's not to be entered into lightly. the choice should be made with a list of pros and cons in mind, ruminated over for some time, then decided. in the midst of excited peers, soda, cookies, music, and smiling models on posters and brochures is not a good way to form a decision upon such a career that taxes mind, body and spirit on a daily basis. if i am being asked to skirt around the fact that its often dirty, and occassionally abusive and mentally scarring, sorry but i am no liar, not even by omission.

who's to say that the promise of 'easy money' is propelling their choice?

about 18 of the 23 or so people have mentioned it by name. i did not pull it out of my hat. it's one good thing, but as i have said many times, not by itself. never alone is it enough. i say this to them. whether they believe me or not is their decision.

further more, who made you the 'exposing angel of nursing'?

that's bit much, but as i said, i simply tell what i know when asked. it's not a personal mission or anything. other than that, my 1st amendment rights let me say what i wish and i intend to use them to speak my reality as long as my tongue is free. if i am the sole person those students consult, then they are fools or not serious. if they are relatively sure in their heart of hearts that they want to give this a try, my accounts of the hard side of reality should not be all that dissuasive. i don't believe i have that much pull at any rate.

it seems like the money was your motivating factor and it was you who got the dose of reality. :down:

that's a pretty hefty insult there- one which i must say is mighty offbase. i did get a dose of reality- but who here hasn't? who here remains unsurprised or unshaken by what they have seen or felt in this course of work? i went in for the right reason- because i wish to care for others, though admittedly, my feelings and thoughts about it all are a bit complicated at this point. i still love this job, what i have seen of it. but my love is not blind. i dissect everything i encounter- good, bad, neutral. it's my nature just as it is the nature of others to ignore the bad and focus on the good. i simply have a different way of relating to life than perhaps many here do. i have not fully reconciled my feelings yet about some things, but so far the rewards have outweighed the pain of the frustrations and ********. there are no stars in my eyes, but my intentions were and are the right ones.

i hope i have clarified and de-demonized myself.

OK, I am currently enrolling in a program. have done all the interviews, physicals, gotten booster shots, taken tests. Now just waiting on the phone call from admissions to let me know I'm in. However, after reading this thread, I'm possibly re-considering my decision. Now I'm thinking that I would make a great florist. Seems like a pretty peaceful occupation. Or, judging by "the poem", I could start a home cleaning business. Sounds like alot of nursing students could employ me.

Not that I'm defending the OP, but haven't we all said something stupid, in the moment, that we regreted?

My wife and I started a business about 5 years ago, and while discussing how we would finance it, we came on the subject of loans. I said that she should file for the loans without my name.

"Why?" she asked.

"Because the banks are more likely to grant a loan to a middle aged female"

Yes, I actually used the words middle aged! The words had not even left my mouth, and I knew it was not going to turn out good! Fact of the matter is people say stupid things all the time, without taking a second to think about it. Otherwise there would be no need for phrases such as "open mouth, insert foot".

To the OP,if you are even reading this any longer, it would probably behouve you to take a few seconds to think out your responses in the future. What would you say to a 16 y/o female involved in a MVA when she asks if she is going to have alot of scars? "Maybe you should consider internet dating"?

I'm sure the CNA in question is doing just fine through all of this. She has probably heard from both sides of the fence by now. I have two friends that attended the school I am going to, and they have had nothing but good things to say about it. While they admit it is intense, takes up most of their free time, and adds stress to their home life, they have both said that it is a great program. Last week, I had to go to the school to sign some papers, and was in the elevator with a couple of students. I made the mistake of asking what they thought of the program. "Horrible! The worst thing I've ever done" Good thing I wasn't basing my decision on that one negative person.

Oh yeah, "the poem". Really? Sexist? I'm no expert on literature, but it didn't seem to me as if it were written by a disgruntled husband who was out of clean underware. Maybe she had to nag dad for tuition, and maybe he did have to "agree". That's not sexist, that's married life. Rest assured there were many "nagging" discussions in my home before the decision was made. But I promise you I didn't use the ever deadly "middle aged" term again. I still think I caused the coldest day in Florida with that one. It seems to me that the poem may have been written by an adolecent who is missing the care and support they have grown accustomed to from their mother. Should we suggest that this child grow up and get over it?

So, to future students reading this thread, make your decision based on whatever it is that motivates you. Ask around about the program you are considering, but rest assured you will get both positive and negative responses. How school goes for you is going to depend on you. How your personal life goes while in school is going to depend on you. Bottom line, it's not going to be easy. You will love parts of it, you will hate parts of it. Just remember, if it doesn't work out, you can always be a florist.....

I appreciate everyone's honesty here. I am starting NS this spring and have heard all of of opinions from both sides. It can be confusing at times, but I really have appreciated the honesty from the nurses I have talked to up to this point. I agree MANY nurses now are going in with a confused view of the profession.

I don't think it is ever anyone's right to discourage anyone from anything they want to do. Who the heck are we to judge whether a person can handle it or are cut out for it.

People need to experience these things for themselves.

If we think it's tough, then it's okay to say so (if asked our PERSONAL opinion) but not our place to say "don't do it".

And that poem disturbed me.

If it was written from the husband's perspective, WHAT A WEENIE!!

If it was written from the children's perspective, that just made me sad.

But I have my own personal reasons to feel that way.

Always_Learning, BSN, RN

Has 3 years experience.

Eh, they're just opinions! And, in the sage words of an elder I know, "Opinions are like buttholes...everyone's got one. And sometimes they stink." ROFL!!

(Not talking about anyone in particular there...after all, I shared my opinion earlier in this thread!)

Just trying to bring a little levity :D

PhoenixTech, LPN

Specializes in Float. Has 3 years experience.

Hey muscadinewine,

:imdbb: Although I know that it was the OP that spoke to the CNA, the way that you agreed with her caused me to morph the posts in my reply. You are correct, there are many people out there who think paycheck when nursing is mentioned and I apologize for offending you. When I talk to people about nursing/cna work, I mention how I get joy out of caring for people, but when I vent, I vent to the other techs. They are the ones that are doing the same tasks that I do and can better understand my frustrations. It just seems that for the people who are not in healthcare, the rude awakening approach isn't something that I'd employ. Upon entering nursing school they'll get all the exposure necessary to facilitate a decision and if they've wasted their time, they are the ones who'll have to take responsibility for their motives.

On the other hand, there are many instances where someone who thought they wouldn't enjoy the tasks of caregiver and only did it for the money, found out they really did gain satisfaction in Nursing/CNA work and came to bless the paths that led them there.

In any event, there's room for me to rethink my reply and in that I ask that you accept these, :flowersfo. I too enjoy this place and don't wish to make cyber enemies. :icon_hug: