Ugh. I did this last semester, and everyone on this board is just so supportive- I thought I'd pour out my feelings again
This time I'm in medsurge. I had Psych clinical for the last 2 weeks, and I really kind of enjoyed it (though it was a VERY long day- 12 hours). I think I may have found a calling in nursing. But- I had to go back to my medsurge floor this week, for our last 2 weeks of clinical.
And it was just a frustrating day. I got annoyed at my instructor. We have to teach a med and write a paper on it- it's due 4 weeks after we get back from a break that I VERY MUCH need at this point. But, with the amount of work that we've been doing, I am not putting it off any longer, and I really want to teach. So I thought I'd do it this week, and I passed the idea onto my instructor. She didn't want me to teach the CT I had, and that kind of annoyed me (but I didn't say anything to her). She did say I could choose someone else on the floor to teach, and then she said that I do have next week to do it as well- and the reason she chose the CT for me she did this week was b/c I hadn't given an IV drug, and I need to do that before I finish these 8 weeks. So I finally decided that yeah, we can do it next week. I'm probably the only person in my group who hasn't taught anyone yet.
And it's not like I hate this teacher. I really do like her. She's one of my favorite teachers, I thought I wouldn't like her, but I'm learning a whole lot from her :)
I just don't want to be writing this paper at the last minute. I've talked to several people who wound up doing so, and they wound up having to repeat the class. Which at this point is NOT an option, I fail- I'm done, I'm a CNA.
So after sitting and sulking for a while (I was thinking that she hated me LOL) and reading the rubric for this paper, I understand just why this CT I had for today and tomorrow wouldn't work. And that I needed information on the CT- a lot of it, and that just trying to throw it together tomorrow on another CT that I've never seen before wouldn't work.
And then my Psych teacher- tells me to "enjoy the rest of this class" Well- hate to say this but I am NOT enjoying medsurge right now. I am passing but JUST passing, and it is frustrating me to no end I did pass the test we had yesterday, so that gives me hope. But my 1st 2 tests were just below passing. UGH I think I know where I went wrong on the last test, my grades have been steadily improving with each test, so I feel ok with the one on Monday. And I still have another 8 weeks, 4 tests and a paper to bring the grade up to a level where I'm comfortable.
Not to mention my kids are out of school, I'm getting guilt feelings b/c they need help at VBS this week and helping is NOT an option (can't miss school or clinical. I have Thursday and Friday off but I really don't feel like sitting in a worship rally listening to 400+ screaming 1st-5th graders )
I need to finish my paperwork for tomorrow. At least it's not as much as we had to do for Psych.