I am in an absolute state of panic right now... need help

**canoehead, BSN, RN** · Sep 7, 2005

Go to employee assitance and talk to them. You may be eligible for compensated time off due to stress. Call in sick for your next set of shifts. Look into other jobs. Where I live the local truckstop waitresses make more money in a shift because of their tips than nurses at the hospital down the road make. You have options, so don't give up.

NurseforPreggers · Sep 7, 2005

I can't imagine what could have happened to make you feel this badly. Is there any chance you are overreacting?

If you truly feel this way you may want to look into doctor's offices, health dept., community nursing, school nursing, or teaching. I would not think that an ER would be a good place for you. ER nurses are typically thick skinned, self motivators, who handle pressure well and are quick on their feet.

If you don't want to talk about what happened thats ok, but chances are if you are able to share your experience someone on this board may be able to help you in some way. At the very least you may save someone else from making the same mistake in the future.

Best of luck to you! Don't be so hard on yourself. Nursing is a diverse field, I'm sure you can find your niche somewhere else if medsurg isn't it.

**RosesrReder, BSN, MSN, RN** · Sep 7, 2005

I am so sorry to read this. I agree with you calling in sick (you are obvioulsy very streseed and it is not healthy!). Take the time and use it wisely to looking for something else and sort things out in your mind and with the fam. Best wishes to you. :icon_hug:

Katnip, RN · Sep 7, 2005

I have to agree. ER doesn't sound like the right place for you. Neither does home health if you don't feel confident enough about making quick decisions.

How about occupational health, or like it was suggested above, a doctor's office. Maybe even hospice, though that might be a tough one emotionally.

Look into all those new laser places opening up they hire RNs a lot, and tend to pay well.

You don't have to be a nurse, either. There are a lot of office type jobs out there that will hire anyone with some kind of degree. Just start combing through the ads in the paper and see what appeals.

If things are as bad as you say, it sounds like you need to get out now before you lose your license and any opportunity to work in nursing.

Tweety, BSN, RN · Sep 7, 2005

Your pain and stress level is loud and clear and as a long-time med surg I understand. I've come close to those kinds of moments myself.

Anyway you can take a day or two off to regroup, rest and get your bearings together before you decide what to do, since you said you can't quit right now, I think you're going to have to face the reality of your job. But you definately need a break.

I hope you find some peace and happiness no matter what you do.

unikuelady, RN · Sep 7, 2005

I don't know what to do. I literally feel like I am going to crack.

First thing: Call your manager and tell her you need to take time off starting immediatly. If you have vacation time/pay available then take it so you won't have to worry about the bills getting paid.

Second thing: For the next 24 hours do absoultly nothing. Rest your mind and body. Tell your family that you are on a mental and physical vacation and you are not to be burdened by any problems. They can deal with whatever comes along without you.

now-that you have had a chance to breath.....consider getting to your healthcare provider for a complete health checkup.

Then take time to discover what is important to YOU.

Being a nurse gives you many options for work. perhaps you are better suited for another area of nursing-even if it means a cut in pay. Ask yourself what type of work do you ENJOY. Then take your cues from there.

IMO nurses are programed to care for everyone but themselves. By taking care of yourself you will do a great service for yourself, family and future patients.

I hope this advice helps you. It did for me when I needed it. Good luck.

:twocents:

jaslo98 · Sep 7, 2005

Here's the deal. I HAVE to quit my job.
If I don't, I'm either going to end up:
--Getting fired
--Cracking, mentally
--Getting reported to the BON
--A combination of the above... and SOON.
The problem is that you know, I can't just run right out and get a job making what I make now. Probably not even NEAR what I make now. I am part of a family of three and I make the good majority of the money.
But, I had a horrible, horrible thing happen to a patient this morning as the result of HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE mistakes that I made during my shift.
Other than that, I don't even feel like going into what happened. My stomach is literally tied in knots right now. I can't handle moments like this anymore, I just can't. I am a med surge nurse and I feel like I can't handle the sheer responsibility any more, I can't handle making such crucial mistakes anymore and "learning" from them (which I never seem to do), I just simply cannot handle my job anymore... mentally, physically, emotionally. I am such a thin-skinned person and that's part of what makes things really hard.
I. just. can't. do. it. any. more. I can't even go back tonight. I can't face what I did, I can't face that place, I just can't face any of it.
I have to get another job. I'm panicking because it's like, I need a job, outside of the hospital, NOW. Home health or health dept, or some sort of state job, would be ideal. I'm thinking about calling my MIL and asking her to go to bat for me and see if she can get me hired with one of the health dept's (she's a head person over state health dept's).
We have lots of bills. We have a very tight budget as it is. I can't just quit, but I don't know what else to do. This isn't just a sudden thing; med surge, hospital nursing in general, has ALWAYS stressed me out to the max, and I have a hard time handling when ANYTHING goes bad during my shift. What happened this morning, *JUST* as I was about to finish and give report, was the absolute END. I can't do this anymore.
I like predictability. I like a slow pace. I like ambulatory people. I don't like stress. I don't like when things change at a spit second's notice. I'm NOT a good med-surge/hospital nurse.
But I have a responsibility, and I need to just go back to my job until I can find something else. But right now I just CAN'T. I can't face it. I know I'm weak and I know I'm running away, but... I can't do it.
I'm sorry if I'm being a huge downer to someone who's reading this and wants to be a nurse. That isn't my intention at all. There are some very very good nurses out there who are excellent at what they do, which is med-surge. I just am not one of them.
I guess I could work in a small ER if I stayed in the hospital, but I don't know any of the area ER's that are hiring, or would hire me. I'm just scared to stay in the hospital. I"m a terrible nurse. I'm thinned skinned as you-know-what, I have no common sense whatsoever. The best thing for me would be to just get out of nursing alltogether, but I CAN'T. What else will I do? I have some slight experience doing graphic design, and I have experience as a convenience store manager. That's about it.
I don't know what to do. I literally feel like I am going to crack.

You definitely need a break. Please get help from someone!! Another nurse, or other healthcare professional. Someone you can talk to about your situation. I will be praying for you!!

barefootlady, ADN, RN · Sep 7, 2005

I am sorry you feel such pain, panic, and stress. Many of us have found ourselves in your situation. I agree with Tweety, you need to face the reality of the stress of your job. I suggest you actively seek some stress counselling. From your post it sounds like you have more than one stressor in your life and combined with the job, you may be reaching a breaking point.

Please seek assistance from your PCP, if your employee assistance program is reputable and confidential, seek some help there, also look into community based services, even if a fee is involved, it is usually a small one. Perhaps it is time to call a family meeting, put your cards on the table, tell the other members involved you do not feel you can continue to handle the lions share of the finincial burden. Bill consolidation, setting a budget, cutting up credit cards, and cutting out luxuary items may help. What ever you decide, please get some therapy for yourself. It may be simple case of hormones need balanced, but whatever the outcome, you need support and assistance quickly. Please know we on the board send positive thoughts and prayers your way. Good luck and keep us posted.

allnurses Guide · Sep 7, 2005

Thanks so much for all of the good advice. I guess my life is rather stressful; maybe not as much as some folks, but... well, here's an idea of what my life is like OUTSIDE of my job. Maybe this is why I have such a hard time handling the stresses of nursing. If it sounds like I'm whining, I'm sorry.

--My husband does little to nothing to help out around the house. During the three day stretches of twelve hour shifts that I work, the house gets to a point where it really looks like it was never cleaned once. (I do a lot of cleaning when I'm off. I have a toddler and two four legged creatures living in the house).

--I have a toddler. Need I say more? *laughs* But seriously, she's precocious and independent spirited and REALLY likes having her way and likes to throw hellacious tantrums when not getting her way.

--I really have very few close friends to de-stress with. That sounds sad, I know, but most of the people that I ever SEE are people that I work with, and I have a strange, STRONG aversion to socializing with people at work. Maybe because work is stressful enough without bringing it home, in ANY way? I don't know. But, I have friends that I don't work with, but most of them I never see because they have busy lives, or they live far away.

--I'm overweight and on a diet, which has been mostly successful actually.

--My house is in a moderate state of unrepair, both inside and out. Again, husband has been really unwilling to be very proactive on this, though I admit I have also. Neither of us knows much either about home improvement, or landscaping.

--Finances. Again, we are always pretty tight as it is. Me quitting my job would only make it much worse, of course. We owe a LOT of people.

--Husband hurt his shoulder this summer and has been mostly off, but JUST really went back to full time.

So. *sigh* I guess considering what the rest of my life is like... yeah, maybe that's why I'm unwilling to accept the stress of my job. I mean, I think I really am unwilling to accept the responsibilities of nursing. Unless maybe something gives in the rest of my life... or maybe MORE than one somethings. =) Considering that my husband is stubborn, I don't know that I see that happening any time soon. Oh yeah, and I handle the finances. Hubby has shown in the past that he's unable to do this job.

There are nurses that I work with that have pretty cushy lives outside of nursing. Husbands that are at their beck and call and are self-motivated and make great money and do, DO for their wives. Lots of friends. Nice houses with manicured lawns. I mean, that's not to say that there certainly aren't GOOD things about my life. Really, my life is mostly HAPPY, just incredibly stressful I guess.

I really don't know... I'm sorry to get so personal but maybe you all have hit the nail on the head. Maybe I'm too stressed out ALL AROUND, and that's why I can't handle this job. I really don't know.

I do know one thing. I'm calling in for tonight, even if I have to make something up. I'll tell them my kid is sick. I don't have enough vacation time to take more than that.

grimmy, RN · Sep 7, 2005

wow...you've gotten a lot of great advice so far, but may i say that you could stand some counseling, too. the fact that your husband is "stubborn" doesn't quite cut it, huh? unless you've made it abundantly and crystal clear that he *must* help out around the house, you are perpetuating this problem. have you explained to him that your stress level is reaching mammoth proportions? that you are on the verge of quitting? i'm not saying to tell him that its all his fault, but he may provide a great resource of support that you didn't know you had. he may be blissfully unaware of your problems. get some rest, please, and take one problem at a time. time off, rest, financial counseling, psychotherapy, career counseling, whatever it takes. keep talking to us, ok?

ICRN2008, BSN, RN · Sep 7, 2005

As far as the hose goes, is it possible for you to sit down with your husband and explain to him how you are feeling? My husband reminds me that I need to ASK him for help, because he can't read my mind and doesn't know when I'm feeling stressed out.

It sounds like you are carrying most of the weight as far as bringing home the paycheck and managing the house. I'm sure there is something he could do to ease your burden. If you need a break when you get home from work, could he take your daughter to the park for a while? Or could you split the household chores so that the house isn't in need of so much cleaning when you finish your shifts?

If your husband is unwilling to help, that's a different story and a different conversation.

I hope that you are able to get some sort of reprieve soon :)