Husband and wife working together

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Okay, new to this site! Have a question! My husband and I have worked together as RNs in a local ER for the last 4 years (VERY well I might add). I recently got promoted (demoted) hehe to Charge Nurse. The one before me HATED IT AND WAS BURNED OUT. So she stepped down and DA DA DAAAA... I was deemed the one to do it. Okay, so at first I did NOT want it. It is a headache and not worth that extra dollar.... That's right, ONE dollar more an hour for charge. Well, i got over my own aversion for the position and started coming up with a plan to make it better for everyone, bring the morale back up, better our patient care. Anyhow, I find out today that, oh no.... Someone messed up and all of a sudden I can no longer charge because its a rule that one spouse can't be "over" the other spouse. Does anyone have any info on this? It's not in the BON. Apparently they have known about the situation but haven't said anything as there is no one else that wants to take on the position. I'm confused as to how I should feel and what I should do.

The issue is that it is not personal. If you and your husband work together well, are the dream team, then that is awesome. However, I would not want to be put in the postion of either having to discipline my spouse in the role of charge, or hear that charge "favors" their spouse over the other members of the unit (which by your description is a low morale unit to begin with).

Do not take it personally. If they were to allow you to do this, it can set them up fors a past practice issue. So that down the road when Mr and Mrs Straight-from-the-gates-of-all-heck work in the same unit, or any close relatives, they do not use the charge role to the disadvantage of the rest of the unit,(unfortunetely, not all couples/family members have such good intentions) or do not "cover" for spouse's mistakes/shortcomings/and other nasty behaviors. So in other words, if they let you, they are put in a position to have to let everybody in the future. And that could be a hot mess.

And I would really think about asking my husband to transfer. For a whole $1.00 more an hour, they can keep their $40.00 for a schedule that is good, the same, to the advantage of your family, and perhaps your husband only wants to do the ER.What would be the advantage to your family? And if your husband is then miserable? If you were saying $5.00 or more an hour, it would be worth thinking about and talking about pros and cons.

I wouldn't put him in that postion, as you all sound like a great couple, so why chance some resentment?

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Specializes in NICU, PICU, PACU.

How would you handle it if someone had to come to you with an issue with your spouse? I'd have to think that would be one thing I wouldn't want to deal with!

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If these are your real pictures and names I would suggest not doing so. Good luck getting this all worked out though. Worked with a husband and wife team before, but they were in two different medical specialties, so it was more workable.

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Specializes in ICU, telemetry, LTAC.

Having worked with a number of couples that worked together, I have yet to meet one that was functional. And by working together, I mean same shift, same unit, same days. There is always one that does a larger portion of the workload, it may or may not cause drama depending on how things happen. One factor that is outside the couples' control is how other people react to them. I was my husband's boss when we met and I am glad that I changed jobs shortly afterwards; we thought it was workable but really, we had to change our minds. (It was not nursing. This was prior to nursing school for me.)

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Well since you decided to throw in your own personal opinion... I guess the fact that him and I study together for certifications keep each other up to date on the latest and greatest, and SAVE lives doesn't matter? Then we get to come home and kiss on our little girl, and spend the same days off with her as a family. Guess all that is NOT a good idea.[/quote']

I have no experience with this regarding nursing but I know when hubby and I were in the military together we couldn't be in the same platoon for the same reason- he couldn't be "over" me....once I caught up in rank it didn't matter, but we still tried to stay separate, any professional disagreement everyone assumed was due to our marriage :/ no, it had nothing to do with it, he and I just happened to be different people with different thoughts and ideas.

Posting from my phone, ease forgive my fat thumbs! :)

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Specializes in Nurse Scientist-Research.

To the OP, I think it was wrong of your co-workers to beg you charge without immediately addressing that this would require a change for your husband. Having gotten that out of the way. . .

I have a husband that is an RN in the same field as mine. We happen to work in an area where there are many NICUs and room for everyone to breathe. We have both been offered positions in each other's units (of two different hospitals). The management there have always told us that as long as neither of us had control of financial matters (control of raises, distribution of hours, access to payroll) there wouldn't be a problem. Neither of us have ever worked for the same hospital as a nurse though and I like it better that way. We work in hospitals that are next door, schedule our hours as close together as possible and occasionally meet for a break. Good enough for me.

We used to work for the same hospital but different floors before he finished nursing school. One night he was floated to my floor and I though I technically was in a supervisory position over him (as an RN over an aide) he was assigned to another section of our floor. It just made me nervous because I didn't want any appearance of impropriety (him giving me more help or not helping me as much as the other nurses). I'm sure it could be worked out. I just also know there have been plenty of shifts where I was happy to go to work so I could have a break cause things were tense at home.

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Specializes in Cardiology.

that's pretty standard from what I've experienced...You didn't want to do it in the 1st place, so now here's your excuse. Share your ideas for improving the unit to the person that takes the position and hopefully they will be considered.

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I have no experience with this regarding nursing but I know when hubby and I were in the military together we couldn't be in the same platoon for the same reason- he couldn't be "over" me....once I caught up in rank it didn't matter, but we still tried to stay separate, any professional disagreement everyone assumed was due to our marriage :/ no, it had nothing to do with it, he and I just happened to be different people with different thoughts and ideas.

Posting from my phone, ease forgive my fat thumbs! :)

Exactly. Two people of differing ranks in the same chain of command is a recipe for disaster 9 times out of 10. OP, that's great that you and your hubby aren't that problem, but the vast majority of people aren't that...sane? Let's go with sane.

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My facility has the same policy. But even beyond policy I don't like working with groups of related people personally. It just brings in a whole dynamic that I'd rather not have to deal with.

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Specializes in Acute Care Cardiac, Education, Prof Practice.

First off I think it is awesome that you guys can work together, that you work well together, and that it allows a good family time flow.

In regards to the charge nurse position, I do think it is kind of low that they got you to do it in a pinch and are now citing policy to get out of it. That being said, even if you are perfectly capable of managing a "one over the other" role, it doesn't mean everyone else on the unit will be able to. Because we all see the world through our own lens, no matter how consistent or fair you are, will inevitably believe you are favoring him with patient assignments/workload even if you aren't. This could then force you to give him heavier patients in an attempt to make up for other perceptions, which isn't fair either. If the $1 an hour isn't make it or break it, then I would just step down, stay on the same unit, and be careful if they ask you to ever fill in again.

Best of luck!

Tait

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Specializes in ICU, Radiology,Infectious Disease,Forensic Nursing.

My husband works at an awesome hospital that is 3 miles down the road, so when I got out of nursing school that was where I was going to first try and get a job. Turns out they don't let family members work there at all! I can't even work an opposite shift then him, as long as he's there I can't be is what his supervisor told me. I think that is messed up, especially since they have more than one campus.

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Okay. So I initially wrote this post with my defenses up. Im bad about jumping the gun with my thoughts. However, I've always been good with other peoples advice and y'alls proved to be very valid! There are some things i never even considered, "disciplining my husband" "showing favoritism" "people thinking a professional disagreement was a marriage problem" WOW, I'm glad I asked. Okay so now that I have had time to think on it all, I have come to a conclusion. Him and I working together as staff nurses FAR outweighs having to change shifts or him looking for another Job and then (someone hit the nail on the head) blaming me later. Tomorrow I will gladly tell my boss to keep me as a staff nurse and find someone else to charge. It IS an issue having one spouse over the other even if I didn't "think" problems would Rise from us- I'm most certain now they eventually would. The last 4 years have been wonderful, NO problems what so ever. And patients love it when we tag team. I'm not willing to jeopardize the good thing we have now (work and home) , no matter how much money they offered. This little baby girl of ours deserves us home as much as possible. Thank you all SO much. (And the hubby agrees) initially he said he would do what ever I wanted.... But that's just what husbands are suppose to say. :) I'm glad I didn't make any rash decisions. Grandma always said to "sleep on every important decision".

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