Husband and wife working together

[JinnyLynn]

Okay, new to this site! Have a question! My husband and I have worked together as RNs in a local ER for the last 4 years (VERY well I might add). I recently got promoted (demoted) hehe to Charge Nurse. The one before me HATED IT AND WAS BURNED OUT. So she stepped down and DA DA DAAAA... I was deemed the one to do it. Okay, so at first I did NOT want it. It is a headache and not worth that extra dollar.... That's right, ONE dollar more an hour for charge. Well, i got over my own aversion for the position and started coming up with a plan to make it better for everyone, bring the morale back up, better our patient care. Anyhow, I find out today that, oh no.... Someone messed up and all of a sudden I can no longer charge because its a rule that one spouse can't be "over" the other spouse. Does anyone have any info on this? It's not in the BON. Apparently they have known about the situation but haven't said anything as there is no one else that wants to take on the position. I'm confused as to how I should feel and what I should do.

[JinnyLynn]

You are absolutely right!

[edrnbailey]

$1.00/hr equal $2000 a yr. Is that enough difference for changing your life and schedules? This is only something the two of you can decide as a family. If it is more about the progression to management in your career then you will need to sit down and have a discussion about where you see yourselves as professionals and a family. Only you can make those decisions. I've worked with couples before that managed to separate their personal from their professional lives very well and some who couldn't. Again it's the individuals involved that make or break the situation. Best of luck!!

[Meriwhen, ASN, BSN, MSN, RN]

Unless you have a working crystal ball, you have no way of knowing for certain if there wouldn't be any issues with your husband being under you as charge. Perhaps you're right and there wouldn't be a single one. But others have pointed out several possibilities: insinuations of nepotism (real or imagined), what happens when you have to discipline your spouse, tensions from martial squabbles spilling over into work, tensions from work spilling over into the home, how HE feels having to take direction from you, etc. All of these are risks that you'd have to be willing to take should you have taken the position, and only you could have decided if they were worth it.

IMO, I couldn't work either under or over (and for that matter, with) my better half. We work well together in many situations, but I know that in the workplace we'd need to be in separate chains of command. That's no slur upon us or our relationship...just that we know our limitations :)

I think you made the best decision by deciding not to accept the position.

Best of luck to both of you.

[vamedic4, EMT-P]

Jinny, that policy is commonplace. Nepotism (in the form of wife/husband or even father/daughter, mother/son) has been an issue at many institutions in the past and in order to keep it from happening, they just put policies into place to forbid it. It has nothing to do with YOU personally,or your spouse, for that matter. The powers that be need that policy in force to keep bad things from happening. It's not that either of you would ever take advantage of your position as charge, but the organization can't take that chance.

I worked at one institution with my father. He was the paramedic supervisor and I was a paramedic also. We could not work on the same shift because of our relationship. It's just one of those things.

ETA: Oh, and for only an extra dollar an hour I would have told them "Thanks, but no." I'm sure it's not worth the trouble, the headache, and the added responsibility.

[nurseprnRN, BSN, RN]

Well since you decided to throw in your own personal opinion... I guess the fact that him and I study together for certifications, keep each other up to date on the latest and greatest, and SAVE lives doesn't matter? Then we get to come home and kiss on our little girl, and spend the same days off with her as a family. Guess all that is NOT a good idea.

It's a good idea for you and yours, but in many situations it wouldn't be a good idea in the employment setting. You two may be the epitome of ethical practice, but the employer sees the potential for some kind of abuse (he steals narcs, she signs off on the waste; she makes out the assignments and the others think he gets it easy all the time... you can see how that might go). It really isn't about you.

Perhaps one of you could work on another floor, and (if it's you) that charge (or if it's him) that staffer could come to your floor. Then everyone is happy. Or at least equally unhappy.

[Not_A_Hat_Person, RN]

In my non-nursing jobs, spouses usually weren't allowed to work in the same department or to supervise one another. There were some husband-wife and parent-child relationships when I worked in assisted living, but relatives weren't allowed to work the same shift or to directly supervise each other.

[roser13, ASN, RN]

Well since you decided to throw in your own personal opinion... I guess the fact that him and I study together for certifications, keep each other up to date on the latest and greatest, and SAVE lives doesn't matter? Then we get to come home and kiss on our little girl, and spend the same days off with her as a family. Guess all that is NOT a good idea.

Wow. I thought you came here asking for our personal opinions? I didn't read past this rude retort so I don't know if anyone has already responded to you but you can bet I won't be giving my personal opinion on this thread.

[itsnowornever, BSN, RN]

Wow. I thought you came here asking for our personal opinions? I didn't read past this rude retort so I don't know if anyone has already responded to you but you can bet I won't be giving my personal opinion on this thread.

Perhaps you SHOULD have read all replies before being so quick to respond.

Posting from my phone, ease forgive my fat thumbs! :)

[roser13, ASN, RN]

Perhaps you SHOULD have read all replies before being so quick to respond.

Posting from my phone, ease forgive my fat thumbs! :)

Read all replies. Still feel the same. Very rude retort to a poster who was only trying to help.

[PMFB-RN, RN]

My facility's policy is that a married couple/parent-child duo/etc. can work on the same unit, but neither one can hold a management/supervisory position.

*** We used to have that rule too. that is until it was pointed out that the rules didn't apply to the several gay couples working together on the unit. Since they can't get married in our state there was no rule about one of them doing charge but there was a rule about spouses serving as charge over each other.

After that was pointed out they did away with the requirement and now either of a married couple can be charge while their spouse is working. Same as the gay couples.

[Scarlette Wings]

It is often considered nepotism and not a good idea. If a facility is very large and the spouses can work on different floors or shifts, etc then it is not so bad. That said, our facility has an RN in the coordinator position who directly supervises the spouse. I have seen the results of the two talking about things in management about staff or issues that the other general floor staff should not be privy to and the discussion about it and morale is very negative. Perception is often everything and the reality that you two may work fantastically together does not change the impression. It will be a hard battle but you can do it if there is not an HR policy that forbids it.

[applewhitern, BSN, RN]

Yes, it was a very rude response to my post. I chose to ignore it and take the high road, but since a couple of posters did make a comment about it, I will say that I hope this nurse doesn't carry this rude attitude to her new charge nurse position.