I started my CNA class this week (it is required for acceptance into nursing school here). I was telling him about the different things I'll be doing as a CNA and then as a nurse. He became upset when I talked about bathing people.
My husband is concerned that I will be touching other men to bathe them. I tried to explain that it's just a bath, kind of like bathing a child, nothing sexual, but he's still concerned.
Now, he hasn't gotten angry or tried to talk me out of nursing, but he still isn't comfortable with me touching other men. Any suggestions on how to ease his mind?
I am truly appalled at some of the responses that are being given here out of "concern" for the OP. Stories about husbands who pulled guns on their families, numerous people telling this woman to leave her husband. What is going on here? Her husband is obviously not in the medical field and probably isn't aware of what goes on during the daily routine on a hospital floor. With shows like Grey's Anatomy, ER, etc, I'm not surprised that he is a little concerned.
What I am surprised at is you...the responders, many of whom I have grown to respect during my time here and are now, instead of offering constructive advice to a fellow nurse with an issue, are trying to rip apart a family. Only 1 or 2 people have actually suggested that she explain to him that its a non sexual procedure. How would you feel if your husbands asked their peers for advice and 80% of them told him to run, get out, suggesting that you may pull a gun on him?
I'm honestly disgusted.
I KNOOOOOOOOOOOW, I soooo agree! See my message below! Or is it above? Heather
There have definately been some hasty responses for the OP to run away from her husband that seem totally out of proportion to her opening post. I don't know how anyone can give advise to get a divorce based on the information we've gotten here.
The OP even stated that her husband hadn't asked her to quit the nursing program, but had shared his discomfort about the fact that she might be washing private parts.
I say, give the guy a break and try to educate him and give him a chance to aclimate to the idea. He's just a guy, they are pretty simple creatures, and they really improve as the years go by.
Specializes in CNA - starting LPN school January 2009!!.
I started my CNA class this week (it is required for acceptance into nursing school here). I was telling him about the different things I'll be doing as a CNA and then as a nurse. He became upset when I talked about bathing people.
My husband is concerned that I will be touching other men to bathe them. I tried to explain that it's just a bath, kind of like bathing a child, nothing sexual, but he's still concerned.
Now, he hasn't gotten angry or tried to talk me out of nursing, but he still isn't comfortable with me touching other men. Any suggestions on how to ease his mind?
Run. as fast as you can. Any man who is insecure enough to feel threatened by you wiping poop off of a 90 year old man's member is surely just showing you the tip of his abusive, controlling iceberg.
Run. as fast as you can. Any man who is insecure enough to feel threatened by you wiping poop off of a 90 year old man's member is surely just showing you the tip of his abusive, controlling iceberg.
I started my CNA class this week (it is required for acceptance into nursing school here). I was telling him about the different things I'll be doing as a CNA and then as a nurse. He became upset when I talked about bathing people.
My husband is concerned that I will be touching other men to bathe them. I tried to explain that it's just a bath, kind of like bathing a child, nothing sexual, but he's still concerned.
Now, he hasn't gotten angry or tried to talk me out of nursing, but he still isn't comfortable with me touching other men. Any suggestions on how to ease his mind?
:eek:my husband talked to out of nursing for the same reason 25 years ago and i regret it. it was immature jealousy and if he had to do the job for a week or two he would soon find out that there is nothing sexual or exciting. in the hospital i am at i find more women than men patients need intimate care ... many of the men are embarrassed and rather do it themselves.
i think this stems from some of men's fantasys about nurses (someone in control or someone to clean/feed/care for them like a baby) just my two cents. good luck!
Specializes in LTC/SNF, Psychiatric, Pharmaceutical.
I started my CNA class this week (it is required for acceptance into nursing school here). I was telling him about the different things I'll be doing as a CNA and then as a nurse. He became upset when I talked about bathing people.
My husband is concerned that I will be touching other men to bathe them. I tried to explain that it's just a bath, kind of like bathing a child, nothing sexual, but he's still concerned.
Now, he hasn't gotten angry or tried to talk me out of nursing, but he still isn't comfortable with me touching other men. Any suggestions on how to ease his mind?
One thing you might point out is that most of the patients you will be bathing will be old, sick men, many of who will not be feeling well enough to get anything out of it. Very few of them will be young star athletes or "hunks", and for most of them, they'll be so sick that sex will be the furthest thing from their minds.:chuckle
Even at that, I'm sure you will be a professional through and through, and most of your patients will treat you as such. Remember, very few people, male or female, want care ordinarily done in complete privacy from the time they were toilet-trained provided by another person, male or female. They accept it because they are temporarily or permanently unable to do it for themselves.
It would never occur to my wife to be jealous of me providing care to female patients (she is a nurse too). On the other hand, she teases me about the flirtatious young female aides/techs.
Specializes in LTC/SNF, Psychiatric, Pharmaceutical.
Your husband is a strange man.
That isn't entirely true. Many men are insecure, though it doesn't necessarily follow that insecurity = abuse.
Even though I'm a nurse and my wife is a nurse, I can easily see the insecurity. I can also see that much of the insecurity in these cases stems from a lack of knowledge about what nurses and aides do and don't do.
Specializes in LTC/SNF, Psychiatric, Pharmaceutical.
I'm so sure. Just because he says he isn't comfortable with her bathing a naked man, doesn't mean he's abusive. I too have been in an abusive relationship so I'm not speaking blindly here.
It was a conversation between two partners. This week my husband had to precept a new nurse. I asked "Was she hot?" It was a joke between us. If he posted that and everyone said I was insecure and for him to run would be way out of line.
She's insecure!!! RUN!!!:chuckle
I've been in your husband's shoes, my wife jokes the same way you do about female staff members. And I've been in relationships with women who were mentally AND physically abusive and all had jealous streaks a mile wide, so I know the difference between harmless joking such as my wife does and jealousy. She does it with a warm smile on her face and a mischievous twinkle in her eye.
Thanks to all who are concerned for my safety, buy let me ease your minds, my husband is in no way an abusive or controlling man. We have lived together 5 years, been married 3. He has never even come close to hitting me, doesn't even use put-downs towards me.
My husband has been very supportive when it comes to my pursuing nursing as a career. He is human, though, and has some discomfort with the thought of me touching any other man, be it a man covered in poop or not! I just think it's a "territory" thing, you know?
I only wanted to know if anyone else had experienced this and get suggestions on how to ease his mind.
By the way, this probably has to do a little with maturity .... we're only 24, so he's still got some growin' up to do!
ummm the actuality of the bathing situation is this......the people we bath are not all old, wrinkly and decreped. i worked in a trauma center where there were young people and yes, due to conditions were bathed just like the old people and yes, some did get an erection with the stimulation. it happens. some had some pretty funny tattoos there as well. bathing is just one of the many many many things we do. it's no more sexual than giving meds, sucking out their secreations or feeding them. if the husband shows jealousy, expresses concern perhaps you should just give him the details of ALL the other things your day encompasses. no doubt he'll eventually see that sex, romance is not even part of the equation.
Dublin37
567 Posts
I KNOOOOOOOOOOOW, I soooo agree! See my message below! Or is it above? Heather