I started my CNA class this week (it is required for acceptance into nursing school here). I was telling him about the different things I'll be doing as a CNA and then as a nurse. He became upset when I talked about bathing people.
My husband is concerned that I will be touching other men to bathe them. I tried to explain that it's just a bath, kind of like bathing a child, nothing sexual, but he's still concerned.
Now, he hasn't gotten angry or tried to talk me out of nursing, but he still isn't comfortable with me touching other men. Any suggestions on how to ease his mind?
Specializes in Community Health, Med-Surg, Home Health.
Well, I have to admit that I am shocked that a person of this day and age can believe that CNAs and Nurses do not wash genitals, but I also would not jump the gun and say that this guy is abusive, either.
Occasionally, I am a vaccination nurse of the US Armed Services. We are told to go to the assigned forts to do vaccines. Now, these are fine specimens of men, ripe for the pickings for a single (or unsatisfied married woman) on the make. When I saw this, and noticed how they will openly (but usually harmlessly) flirt, I said to myself "Wow...maybe I shouldn't tell my husband that I am servicing so MANY men (and think of how I just said that actually sounds-LOL)". I did tell him, of course, but outside of normal (and secretly admirable-at times) observation, I see it as a job that is just more casual and fun than the others.
I love and ADORE my hubby. He is a big, but sweet, gentle man. But, he did ask me a few questions, and he still occasionally looks me dead in my eyes after coming home from these assignments. I can't say I can blame him for that, really. I can't call my gals and tell them of the hunks I saw with him in the house because he may suspect that this was different than what it is-a JOB. I am not blind either, mind you, but I know it is not worth my marriage. At least the guy said what he is thinking and didn't stop her.
Are you kidding me? Next it will be that he doensn't want you to be a nurse because he is afraid you will run off with one of the doctors. Don't let ANYONE hold you back from your goal. He will get over it. If not tuff.
I started my CNA class this week (it is required for acceptance into nursing school here). I was telling him about the different things I'll be doing as a CNA and then as a nurse. He became upset when I talked about bathing people.
My husband is concerned that I will be touching other men to bathe them. I tried to explain that it's just a bath, kind of like bathing a child, nothing sexual, but he's still concerned.
Now, he hasn't gotten angry or tried to talk me out of nursing, but he still isn't comfortable with me touching other men. Any suggestions on how to ease his mind?
there's probably nothing you can say to a jealous man to make it any better. To think that some men would worry about their wife touching a patient's privates in the work setting is so lame. I've never given a moment's thought to what my wife must encounter daily on her job in healthcare.
I work with a lot of women at the hospital though, and I know this is a common problem that women in general encounter from jealous husbands/boyfriends.
Daisees - yes, he would probably be uncomforabtle with that. Buy my Gyn is a woman. I like that she is a woman, because she understands the concerns I have with my body better than a man could.
I will admit, when I read your first post, "RUN FOR THE HILLS!!!" went through my head too. However, after getting through the next nine pages and your responses, I realize that I jumped to conclusions. One warning sign does not an abuser make, you need a pattern. A little jealousy of our spouses/SOs isn't abnormal, so long as it doesn't become pervasive and affect your entire relationship. I was a bartender before I went to NS, and my job actually did involve flirting (harmlessly) with some of my clientele for tips. There were a few regulars that my husband had met socially and took a dislike to - he did get a little jealous, even though he knew I was only acting. Never blamed me for it though, he's an ex-bartender himself.
Talk to him. Explain that, when we do see/touch someone's genitalia, it's the opposite of sexual. If they're at all oriented, they're usually morified that they can't do for themselves. Otherwise, you have the extremely old men covered in poop, and the other extreme of the very young trauma victim. I've had a couple of those who were quite physically attractive - before they were in a head-on collision and wound up vented in the ICU for the remaining three days of their lives. Trust me, bathing and cathing them is not sexual either. Just made me a little sad.
Male Gyne...Female Gyne...if he or she can catch the cervical cancer I don't care if its a shaved chimp. My SO's health means more to me than my concerns over her choice of Dr.
FireStarterRN, BSN, RN
3,824 Posts
What a great response! You sound like you're in a good relationship. And, you sound like a well-balanced, awesome person!