Hubby will not support my decision to return to school

Editorial Team / Admin · Mar 21, 2012

Have you asked your husband to explain why? It could be that he's read an article that is finally telling the truth of the extremely tough job market for new nursing grads instead of the nonexistent nursing shortage? Is something going on at his job (rumor of layoffs, etc) that has him worried about money? It may not just be that he's unsupportive; he may not agree that now is a good time to go to school. Sounds like you really need to sit down with him and have a heart-to-heart discussion about this.

nurseprnRN, BSN, RN · Mar 21, 2012

was this decisions a result of a discussion among peers or an edict handed down from a superior to an underling?

been there, done that (including with the small kids), and that controlling man who had no respect for me got left behind years ago. it was hard but by god i never would have been able to have the good life i have if i'd stayed with him, and my kids were far better off without him.

tell him that the two of you can work out a way to make it possible, since it is so important to you. if he says it's bad for the kids, tell him the best thing for a child is to love its mother. if he says you can't afford it, show him the budget you've worked out ahead of time to show how you can. if he still won't do it, do it with a couples counselor; if he won't do that, go alone. because if he won't give it a good-faith effort, you're going to be going it alone one way or another anyway, emotionally, spiritually, or singly, and the counselor has a lot of ways s/he can help you.

Lola34 · Mar 21, 2012

Thank you all for your responses but I did not make it into the program.

NeoNatMom · Mar 21, 2012

Please take this a tough love response, but unless be has a valid reason for you to absolutely stop persuing your goal, he is definitely not doing a good job of being your husband. Even though my studying is causing major setbacks financially, he wants to see me happy. Through better or worse he is being supportive. I have never met you or your husband, but if you two were friends of mine this is exactly what I would say. Even if you didn't pass your first time taking the teas,, rake it over until you are satisfied. You need to enjoy your career, that is the point of going to shook to learn what you enjoy. Just tell him that this is making you happy, now all that is left is to for him to be caring enough and think that it is for you, and not cus its 'needed'

GitanoRN, BSN, MSN, RN · Mar 21, 2012

here's my 2 :twocents: if you have sat down with him and gone over this issue previously, then i'm wondering what is his concern? let's say for the sake of the argument,could it be financial concern? or the feeling of neglect that a nursing program compels us nurses to do, like not being there at all times, because having to do research papers etc. in addition, no one has the right to hindered the goals of another human being. having said that, you may want to assure him that you could take some of the subjects on line...just saying...wishing you the best always...aloha~

Lola34 · Mar 21, 2012

Hi, he has a concern about the finances, our children being young, and the time it will take away from them. Since I didn't get in now hopefully things will be seen differently in the future. Thank you.

mzrainydayz, BSN, RN · Mar 21, 2012

Wow, If this is something you want to pursue, then don't let anyone including your husband deprive you of that. Sorry you didn't get in but keep trying. I hope things will work out later.

WannaBNursey, ADN, ASN, RN · Mar 22, 2012

I can understand what your husband is saying. You have very young children, and nursing is a much bigger time commitment than teaching. You'll be losing money while your in school because there suddenly won't be 2 incomes.

At the same time, you're making a sacrifice for you and your children's future, nurses usually make a lot more than teachers do (depends on your state) you might only have to work 3 days a week so you have more time to spend with your children, and God forbid if anything happens between you and your husband, you'd be able to provide for your children better with a nurse's salary than an educators salary (again, this all depends on different variables).

If you do get accepted, you have to sit down with your husband with a list of pro's and con's and really work with each other to make this work. You did a lot of work to even have the opportunity to apply to a nursing program, and he just changed his mind last minute. That doesn't seem to be too fair to you.

NeoNatMom · Mar 22, 2012

I understand his concern bit more clearly, but at the same time, you are an experienced parent so that should help you in the idea that it is still possible to have a balance. I only have one child, but the responsibility is still there for me to make sure I am involved in my son's life. I respect the concern he has in that instance. Just try to make it work. Everyone in this site has plenty of reasons that they could've not pursued nursing, but it didn't stop them nonetheless. I would still push for your goal, because you would more than likely want your children to still go to school. What about those parents who offer to help their very young children with their babies so that they can finish their education...Just communicate how important this is to you, and even get your children involved in your studies. Make it a fun learning experience. I was watching a youtube video the other week and the girl in the video advised that it is better to involved your entire family and to not exclude them from your life. Be creative. God Bless!:hug:

johnny depp23 · Mar 22, 2012

Listen to your hubby - he's letting you know that going to nursing school will have a major problem with yours and his relationship. Is this something you can handle?

nurseprnRN, BSN, RN · Mar 22, 2012

lola,

sorry you weren't accepted this time. and we'll look forward to hearing from you in the future that you have been! :hug:

Lola34 · Mar 22, 2012

GrnTea, thank you.