How to stay calm if your child is ill?

All_Smiles_RN · Mar 20, 2005

Well I'm certainly not a seasoned nurse, but as a mother myself, I can tell you that your reaction is typical of what I would expect of myself. We're moms first, nurses second (well student nurse for me, lol). Once you get into the program (if you're not already) you'll learn assessment skills and you'll probably be able to handle more minor illnesses/incidents. Anything remotely serious though, I'm sure the panic of being a mother will kick in. Don't worry too much. I'm sure you'll do just fine. Good luck to you in your nursing career.

...Jennifer...

webblarsk · Mar 20, 2005

I agree with your dh it is so different when it comes to your own child. I can remember when my daughter was little she fell and hit the back of her head. Immediatley a big knot popped up. I pick up the phone and call the emergency room to see if I should bring her out. The nurse on the phone asks me if I put ice on it. :uhoh21: Duh! Ice what a concept! LOL:smackingf

Editorial Team / Admin · Mar 20, 2005

It IS different when it's yours.

It's also different when you've been working for awhile in the field. I get concerned if they're spurting blood or if there's a bone showing thru the broken skin . . .

I DO watch them closely -- closer than they realize (they probably think Mom is so mean, she won't let them stay home for the sniffles and every little complaint). I do try to be objective -- and it IS harder with your own family. Perhaps I err more on the wrong side of caution . . . but again, I don't want the kids to freak at every small symptom. Observe for changes, (always being alert for the cardinal ones!) and ride it out.

I was galvanized into action when my 7yo developed a scratch on his leg. 24 hr later, I checked it and noted a red streak heading up his leg from the scratch. I phoned the clinic and they promised to stay open for me (they were about to close) when I told them what the problem was. We high-tailed it over there and got the necessary antibiotics (one IM, the other po).

I do know that when I lose control, it doesn't help ANYONE. :) :)

You'll develop a sense of priorities (yes, she's bleeding, she's getting weak; hmm, is she breathing? is she better when lying down? is it a fear reaction, vagal response to the sight of her blood, or truly fainting d/t huge loss of blood and drop in hemaglobin?? etc.).

But she's still your dear one, and it's harder, as one loses objectivity. Hey, you took good care of her!! Give yourself a pat on the back, chalk it up to a learning experience! :) :)

busylynn · Mar 20, 2005

I am a seasoned nurse and I can tell you that I behaved the same way when my then 4 year old fell and cut her forehead open. It was bleeding everywhere and obvious that she needed stitches. I completely lost it. I was freaking out more than my injured daughter. Thank goodness that my sister was here to help me pull it together and drive us to the hospital. That is your child, I would be concerned if you didn't overreact!!!!! You are NORMAL!!!! Hang in there!

My 13 yo daughter woke up yesterday morning with a bad nosebleed. She came close to fainting twice (head lolled back, eyes rolled back in head, and knees buckled). I freaked out and called an ambulance. They came and checked her out, bp was fine, by this point the bleeding had stopped and she seemed to feel fine, just embarassed and upset with mom for "overreacting" (her words, not mine!)
Now, 24 hours later, I can't quit thinking about this. How can I possibly be a good nurse, stay calm, etc. if I reacted this way? DH told me my reaction was due to the fact that it was my child, not a stranger, but I still can't shake the feeling that this is a "sign" to me that I won't be able to do this!! I'm so upset right now. Any "seasoned" nurses out there that can give me some advice? Do you think it's common to react this way with a family member?

SusanJean · Mar 20, 2005

Hmm, my husband kids me about my lack of affect when it comes to dealing w/ the kids' medical emergencies. :chuckle I tell him it from dealing from pts' psych/med emergencies... I feel panic on the inside but am all business on the outside. (Am in nursing school now.)

I, on the other hand, kid him about his inability to deal with any medical issue dealing w/ our kids. (And he is a vet...and knows how to deal w/ medical emergencies - human and animal.) When our kids are involved, panic sets in and he freezes. (Fortunately, not w/ his patients.:) ) There is a dr in the neighborhood that reacts the same way, so his wife is always sending their kids over here for help :rolleyes: ... fortunately, he's great in the OR and gone a lot.

I agree w/ other posters, tho. When it is your kids, it is different. I think I am just the abnormal mom in the bunch. But I also grew up, hanging out after school (grade one, on...) at my dad's clinic watching procedures. Ok, one kid's fun...

When it is an emergency, and I've done my part and turned my child over to the doctor - then the tears flow....and I get shaky...and all the emotions flood.

SJ

TheCommuter, BSN, RN · Mar 20, 2005

We care about our patients; accordingly, we love our own children above all. I'll have to wholeheartedly agree with everyone on the fact that the situation changes when it's your own kid.

allnurses Guide · Mar 20, 2005

This came up at work the other day and most of the nurses say we are the worst when it comes to downplaying our kids injuries. One nurse said her daughter had a broken arm for two days before she took her seriously and took her to the doctor. I've poo poo'd my kids aches and pains and boo boos too . . when my son was 18 he was c/o an ear ache but I told him it was probably nothing. Gave him lots of fluids, Tylenol, Motrin, rest, etc. One day at work he showed up at my work in agony with a burst eardrum from infection. My daughter slid down one of those little toddler slides and started crying about her arm. I didn't see anything wrong. Two days later she was still c/o pain to her arm and I took her in and it was broken. My oldest son got his leg broken from putting his leg under the reclining chair grandpa was sitting in right at the moment grandpa decided to get up . . grandpa had to lay down on the bed sick to his stomach - grandma and I headed calmly to the ER.

My daughter two weeks ago took a softball to the face and her nose and I stayed off the field until the coach called me in, even though there was blood everywhere. Took her to the ER - yep, broken.

I think there are those of us who overreact because they are our kids (NORMAL) and those of us who under-react (ALSO NORMAL) because they are our kids.

Maybe because my kids have played sports and I've been admonished by all of them not to get excited and run out on the field, I've learned the hard way not to react.

steph :)

kc2004 · Mar 20, 2005

When my sister's daughter was a newborn,

my sister was clipping the baby's nails. She

got a little to close to the skin and it started

bleeding. She called me (long distance) to ask

if I thought she should take her to the ER. :chuckle

I said " JANE... it's her fingernail. " :uhoh3:

Somehow this statement brought my sister back

down to earth. But, I can see how anyone would

get over excited about thier childs health.

MY daughter bleeding from her nose and fainting

would definitely cause me to run to the ER.

USA987, MSN, RN, NP · Mar 20, 2005

I think there are those of us who overreact because they are our kids (NORMAL) and those of us who under-react (ALSO NORMAL) because they are our kids.
steph :)

I'll second that. Had to take my 9 yr old to the Naval Hosp. ER last night for 6 stitches in the chin. I left a message on my DH's cell phone and he had no idea what was going on. Said I was way "too calm". The corpman asked if I was really her mother!!!!

kwagner_51 · Mar 21, 2005

Oh boy! Where do I start!! My neighbor's FIL drove his car into a tree. She is screaming, her kids are screaming, my kids are screaming and the son is running down the street after his Dad.She has the baby in her arms and asks me what she should do. I said CALL 911! I took her girls into my home [along with my boys], to try to calm them down. The girls were upset and rightly so. My boys were upset because the girls were upset. I was concerned about everybody but had to treat the ones I was with at the time.

Did I mention that I had 6 kids ages 7, 6, 6, 5, 5, & 1? The oldest girl [7] thought that her grandpa had the little girls' baby brother in the car with him when he crashed. It took me 10 min. to convince her that her MOM had the baby. Once I convinced her, she calmed right down. This took place in 1996. LONG before I even thought about becoming a nurse. After the girls went back home [grandpa was ok] I threw up.

Second one took place in 2000. My youngest [5 at the time] got hit in the head with a baseball bat. He was playing catcher and was too close. Got hit on the backswing. The boy who hit him, brought him to the house. He was standing in front of Jake and was white as a sheet. When he moved out of the way, Jake's face was covered in blood!! :eeK I didn't know if he had lost his eye or what was going on. I yelled for my dh as I carried Jake to the kitchen. Jim [the other boy] followed. I got the blood cleared off and saw that he had a lac on his eyebrow. I could see bone. I calmed Jim down, and my husband looked at Jake as said, "he looks fine, no need to go to the hospital." Of course, I said "WRONG!! He was just hit in the head with a bat, I see bone, he is going to the ER!" I called Jim's Mom to let her know that he was extremely upset and that I was afraid that he might pass out. She picked him up and we went to the ER. 5 stictches later [i DID NOT watch] we were back home. I fell apart, shaking and crying after we got home.

Summer 2004, my oldest son, 13 at the time was chasing his younger brother 11. Slipped in some grease and forced his wire rimmed glasses into his forehead. My 17 y/o daughter called me from a cell phone and told me that she had called 911! I bawled her out and told her I was on my way. I got behind some traffic and then had to pull over for the Rescue Squad :imbar I got there and flat refused the ambulance, signed the refusal papers, took all the other kids home, and then took him to the ER. This time I watched the nurse clean the wound and then watched the MD put 6 stiches in his forehead. Handled this one alot better that the previous ones. I was in between 1st and 2nd year in nursing school.

2005 Jake [10 now] was doing a wheelie after school, when the front wheel on his bike fell off. He landed teeth first in the concrete. He walked in the house and said [with blood pouring from his mouth] "I need help here!" I turned around and aw thathe had broken his teeth [permanant]. I cleaned him up and sent my dd and dh out to look for the teeth parts. I didn't know whether to take him to the ER, or to our regular MD. The dentist was closed. I called the ER and asked them what to do. They suggested that we take him to our Dr. I got him in and he set us up with a dentist who examined him the very next day.

I felt so bad for him. I cried, and shook, and said I was sorry over and over again. We found out Friday, that there is no hope for the 2 middle teeth and on the 31st of March he gets 2 root canals done. :crying2:

summer 2004 My dh was closing the hood on his truck and got his thumb caught between the hood and the frame [the hood didn't close all the way]. I couldn't get the hood open and he was struggling to get his thumb out. I was frantic!! I couldn't decide whether to leave him alone long enough to call 911, or keep trying to get the hood open. He finally, got it up enough to get his thumb out. He then walked to the driver's side of the truck, reached in and pulled the hood release!!! :scrying:

The hood had barely latched and that was why, I couldn't get it open. His thumb was fine. He didn't even break the skin. I, on the other hand, was shaking, and doubting whether I could even be a nurse. How in the world am I going to handle people being hurt/sick if I can't handle this?!! It took him 2 hours to convince me that because I care, I will make one H*** of a nurse.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is, YOU will do FINE and because you care, you will make an EXCELLENT nurse!!

_______________________________________________

In His Grace,

Karen

Failure is NOT an option!!

Trauma Columnist · Mar 21, 2005

My oldest son has had several severe (ICU) bouts of asthma when he was little (he's now almost 25). I had to remain calm because if I got upset, he did too. I remember several times (we were stationed overseas in Seoul, Korea) fighting panic as I drove him to the hospital through the bumper to bumper traffic (there were no ambulances)! I still shake at how close he came several times...