How do you respond to rude patients?

Specialties Emergency

Published

How do you respond to rude and complaining patients? I took an earache patient back the other night who waited in the waiting room for 12 minutes before being called back. She stormed to the room yelling about how much pain she was in and how long she waited, and that she never comes to the hospital, "especially this one.", etc. (Hello....it says right on the chart when your last ED visit was....ah hem...6 weeks ago.) In the 12 minutes that she waited to be seen after registering, I was seeing a head trauma patient, that I was working on getting back to CT. I'd been yelled at by a patient a few hours before (not even my patient, but she stopped me in the hallway) about how she was still in so much pain, she'd waited forever, and she didn't even know if she had a nurse, etc. so I was not in the mood for this treatment again, especially when I was dealing with a head trauma patient and this earache is yelling about waiting 12 minutes. GRRRRR!!!!! Oh, and I had pneumonia, but still came to work because there was no one else to work night shift. And she's yelling at me because her ear hurts! How do you deal with the rude and grouchy patients?? What do you say to them? You'd think they'd be grateful that someone is there trying to help them. It just infuriates me to be treated this way and feel like I can't say much back to them.

Specializes in CAPA RN, ED RN.

There is no one thing I do since my relationship with each patient and family member is different. I think it is more an attitude that I hope to convey. I try to promote mutual respect, let the person know that I am listening and give them a feel for what is going to happen and when it might happen for them. Most people respond pretty well. If I can meet their request I do so or I let them know what is possible. I never take it personally, I just keep smiling and verbalize my empathy and willingness to help them.

Most people quit their rude behavior and apologize sometime later. The ones that don't are usually my mental health patients or addicts. I still give that group as much respect as possible and even a fair amount of them respond in a positive way.

I think a calm, level approach goes a long way in dealing with rude people. What they might not think about is that I have a whole orificenal of resources that I will use if needed (including a police station a quarter mile down the road.) Wasn't it Teddy Roosevelt who said to "speak softly, and carry a big stick?"

Specializes in ER.

Every situation is different, but OP, at the 12 minute mark I would be joking about how the patient was really beating some speed records for our ER, and usually it takes several hours. I'd also hint that if they don't have time to stay they would be welcome to come back when they aren't so pressured.

Specializes in ED.
Sometimes you just have to remind them that the sign on the front of the building says "Hospital", not "Hilton".

Yes, but the patient will be grading you on how well they are treated so in a way it is like the Hilton. Those Press-Ganey scores mean a lot to the higher ups.

Treat your patients the way you expect to be treated when you go to the hospital.

AMEN! One of the very few posts I have read on this site that I wished you had a "DISLIKE" button for. lol

You and anyone else here can dislike what I said all you like but it's a fact of life that there ARE people who work in the medical field that have no business working in it period. They lack the compassionand are condescending to patients just because they don't agree with the patients assessment of what their pain is.

If a patient is in pain or just doesn't feel good I can assure you that they could care less about hurting someone's feelings or being rude. They are there to feel better, not be chastised by someone who lordes their position of power over a sick person.

Like it our not nursing is a public service industry. If those sick patients that are "rude" didn't show up at your ER you wouldn't have a job there.

Specializes in EMS, ED, Trauma, CEN, CPEN, TCRN.
Treat your patients the way you expect to be treated when you go to the hospital.

I'm on board with this, as long as they act the way I would when I go to a hospital - nice and respectful. I give patients some leeway, to a point. I have often been kind in the face of rudeness, because I am better than that. But when they begin to disrupt the experience of my other patients, I put a stop to it via the various avenues available to me. In a military hospital, there are a lot of avenues. :)

I have no advice. I have yet to master the art of dealing with this.

Lately, I've been dealing with rude visitors. I guess what really bothers me is how rude and nasty family/visitors can be to you and you're supposto take it.

I had a happy pt, no complaints, visitor came in with a huge fast food box. I set her off asking her if it was for her or pt.

After trying to kiss visitors butt, explain why no food yet and literally said, 'but let me go ask the doc if she can eat now' she starts demanding I go ask the doctor. I simply replied, ma'am, I just said I was going to go ask the doc if she could eat.

Of course, my attitude bleeping bleeps at this point, per visitor. The obscenities increase as I walk away. I asked other staff to help with pt to avoid conflict.

She wanted my name and title ect ect. And with scores the focus, I'll probably get reprimanded. Isn't it amazing,

Specializes in Emergency.
You and anyone else here can dislike what I said all you like but it's a fact of life that there ARE people who work in the medical field that have no business working in it period. They lack the compassionand are condescending to patients just because they don't agree with the patients assessment of what their pain is. If a patient is in pain or just doesn't feel good I can assure you that they could care less about hurting someone's feelings or being rude. They are there to feel better not be chastised by someone who lordes their position of power over a sick person. Like it our not nursing is a public service industry. If those sick patients that are "rude" didn't show up at your ER you wouldn't have a job there.[/quote']

You're not a nurse or nursing student, much less an ER nurse, are you?

This discussion is not about perception of pain, but more about rudeness when people are not getting what they want and getting it right now. A burger king outlook so to speak, "have it your way". Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way, especially in emergency.

And how do you determine a condescending attitude from an online post without intonation?

Specializes in ER, Addictions, Geriatrics.

I'm on board with this, as long as they act the way I would when I go to a hospital - nice and respectful. I give patients some leeway, to a point. I have often been kind in the face of rudeness, because I am better than that. But when they begin to disrupt the experience of my other patients, I put a stop to it via the various avenues available to me. In a military hospital, there are a lot of avenues. :)

I agree with this. I can certainly understand frustration with wait times and, to a small degree, not getting the treatment you thought you might. But if I have done everything I can to explain things to you and have bent over backwards to try and make you a little more content and you are still acting like a donkey.... I'll quickly cease all efforts. I don't expect people that are sick and in pain to be pleasant and full of sparkly rainbows and sunshine, but I have yet to EVER treat others the way some patients have treated me when I was caring for them.

Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
Yes, but the patient will be grading you on how well they are treated so in a way it is like the Hilton. Those Press-Ganey scores mean a lot to the higher ups.

Treat your patients the way you expect to be treated when you go to the hospital.

Treating your patients as well as you would expect to be treated works with REASONABLE people, but how come we have so many UNREASONABLE people coming through?

Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
You and anyone else here can dislike what I said all you like but it's a fact of life that there ARE people who work in the medical field that have no business working in it period. They lack the compassionand are condescending to patients just because they don't agree with the patients assessment of what their pain is.

If a patient is in pain or just doesn't feel good I can assure you that they could care less about hurting someone's feelings or being rude. They are there to feel better, not be chastised by someone who lordes their position of power over a sick person.

Like it our not nursing is a public service industry. If those sick patients that are "rude" didn't show up at your ER you wouldn't have a job there.

Having been a patient far too often in the past six months, let me just say I wish there was a DISLIKE button for this post.

I just wish there was a way to make people understand being rude and nasty, treating staff like pond scum is not doing them any favors.

Good, solid, fantastic nurses and techs and docs are walking away from healthcare, ER's primary care ect because rude, demanding jerk people are more prominent. Why does it always seem to be the level 4-5 pts and visitors?

Every time the thought of leaving has crossed my mind, nursing in general, it's because of this.

What will people be left with? Cold, uncaring, rock like people who will be going through the motions, and you or your loved one might or might not make it and the people 'caring' for you are not going to care one way or the other because they are emotionally removed from their 'job'

+ Add a Comment