How has nursing changed you?

Leader25, ASN, BSN, RN · Feb 4, 2018

I am not the same person.I am better in some areas not so great in others.The schoolwork and hospital job has toughened me,and I have learned how to be tougher from abusive co workers,as well as learning to be kinder from kind,respectful ones. I learned that hard work will not maim me nor kill me but will make me weary yet stronger.I have stood up to abusive doctors,ill mannered sexist docs,fought the handmaiden selfless sterotype.I really believe one can learn something new every day.I have stuck my neck out for my co workers and gotten it nicked a few times.I have missed my family dearly during holidays,but managed to get thru a shift holding back tears.Mostly I am better for it.

ItsThatJenGirl, CNA · Feb 4, 2018

This is wrong on so many levels. It is 100% UNETHICAL to impose your religious convictions on a patient who has not personally told you that they share the same convictions as you. You could have easily made this man's final moments frustrating and upsetting and if you became a nurse purely based on religious convictions I would highly suggest a different career. Nursing is not, and will not ever be, a religious profession- when you are at work your beliefs and opinions stay outside of the hospital doors. Your focus is on your patient, their beliefs, their needs. If your patient doesn't believe in the same thing you do then you focus on helping them using THEIR beliefs.

I'm just a baby student, but we've already learned about cultural competency and how inappropriate this type of behavior is. I wonder how EGspirit would feel if someone from another religion - did something similar to him or someone he loved.

To the OP, like I stated above, I'm a baby nursing student, so obviously nursing hasn't changed me yet. I do find myself assessing random people on the street though - we're still on the head part of the head to toe assessment!

ThePsychWhisperer, BSN, MSN, APRN, NP · Feb 5, 2018

How has nursing changed me? Hmm... I'm certainly more jaded and cynical than I was prior to getting into nursing. Now as a psychiatric NP, I find myself trying to diagnose Axis I and II disorders in almost everyone I run into. I also seem to have this odd dent in my forehead; it may or may not be from repetitively banging my head into walls.

Aaaand on to the main subsection of this post: EGSpirit

I consider myself pretty religious. I believe in God and follow His commandments as well as I can in my day to day life. However, even as a fellow Christian, you have made some remarks here that deeply trouble me. Number one: It is not your place to be telling a patient on his or her deathbed that s/he must endure for anything. The patient was old, tired, in pain, and dying. He should have been allowed to pass into whatever afterlife (or lack thereof) he believed in without you telling him that he needed to endure another second in this world for any reason, and this includes seeing family, religious conversion, or anything else.

Number two: I echo everyone else's sentiments regarding proselytizing to an unconscious person; it is not your job to try to convert a dying patient if he cannot participate and tell you whether or not your ministry is even wanted. I agree that bringing God into the fold as a healthcare worker when having not been asked to do so by patient or family is inappropriate. For some, religion is peace, for others, traumatic, and for any number of reasons. How would it make you feel to be on your deathbed and have a nurse praying over you in the name of Allah? Please keep things like this in mind.

Number three: I have known many Atheists in my career and, funny enough, they all seem to be capable of providing proficient and compassionate care. It would probably also do you well to remember that we Christians haven't yet cornered the market in compassion, and some of the most hypocritical people I have ever had the displeasure of meeting claimed to be of faith. It was lovely that you prepared your patient for family visitation, but the nurses before you may simply have not had the time to do so; when I worked in the ER, it was all I could do to get my work done and make sure my patients were quasi-comfortable. I'm sure it had absolutely nothing to do with the previous nurses being Atheists.

Number four: I will pray with my patients and attempt to comfort in a religious way if AND ONLY IF the patient (and any family present) has asked me to do so, or have made it known that it is okay. To do it at any other time is very presumptuous, and a violation of the therapeutic relationship I share with my patients.

Finally, I do not believe that anyone here has addressed you in such a way that has necessitated you responding with the venom and name calling that you have. Please do not continue to give us of faith a bad reputation; it is bad enough as is anymore.

Tenebrae, BSN, RN · Feb 5, 2018

For the record, I hope my patient was able to hear me. I doubt it, but I hope so. I did my best for him and his family, and my best is something I have always had a very good reputation for as a nurse, even among people who didn't like me. Keep in mind, the reason I did all that I did for him was because a bunch of lazy nurses before me never did--probably atheists.

So you did your job. Do you want a medal?

I'm an agnostic and all my patients get the best nursing care I can give. If a patient dies unexpectedly I do my best to make sure they are clean and tidy and presentable for their loved one

So, my best comes with my religious convictions. The only reason I'm a nurse and not an accountant is because of my religious convictions. I have had so many dying patients. I have been on so many codes.

I've consistently worked in palliative care since I graduated and I've dealt with a lot of dead and dying people. My religion or lack of religion has never been an issue is because you know something weird, its not about me, its about my patient and their family and ensuring that what ever time the patient has left is as good as it possibly can be. Symptoms are well managed and more importantly ensuring that the patient is supported but that the family has support as well, whether thats from friends and other loved ones, or putting them in touch with family services at the local hospice.

My reward out of all of this. Knowing that a patient has died a good death, symptom free as much as possible. Knowing that the family has people around them supporting them. The sense of inner achievement, and the absolute privilege of being able to walk the journey with the patient and their family is enough more than enough reward for me. I really dont care if no one else knows as long as I can walk away from the situation knowing that my patient got the very best care I can provide.

When you've walked a mile in my shoes then I might listen to you. I loved my patient as I love myself. I did unto him, as I would have it done unto me.

How would you feel if you walked into the room of an unconscious loved one and you found a muslim telling your loved one all about Islam and why they needed to meet Allah before they died.

That's what my best comes with. And I can tell you right now, he was lucky I was his nurse. He never regained consciousness. He died. But when his family came to see him, he looked dignified instead of disheveled. He was clean, orderly, smelled good, and looking at peace.
Judge me? Go judge yourself.

I find it disturbing that you are so focused on giving yourself a gold star for the tasks that are apart of your job that you fail to realise what a gross violation of the nurse patient relationship to proselytise to a dying man, who you had no knowledge of his religious beliefs

I was his nurse. He was my patient. He couldn't do for himself, so I did for him. And if the worst thing he had to endure was my statement of faith meant to encourage him and give him strength, then he got off pretty easy. He was an old man, a vet, he raised a family. I doubt he was offended by my comments--and I hope that he did hear them.

Do yourself a favour and take your need to push your beliefs out of your work.

There will come a day when you say something to a person who is able to respond and you will find yourself in alot of trouble. Personally if I found a nurse pushing their religious beliefs onto my brother in law (who just passed from pancreatic cancer) or my mum who is dying slowly and painfully of small cell lung cancer you can bet I would be seeking formal disciplinary action against the nurse, as a local level and with national nursing council.

allnurses Guide · Feb 5, 2018

I wouldn't say nursing has changed me. Growing up on the farm I was always to one to bring home the bird with a broken wing and nurses all the sick animals back to health when we couldn't afford to have a vet out. I resisted going to nursing school for years but finally relented and I have to say that nursing has allowed me to be the best person I am capable of being.

Hppy

KarenMS · Feb 6, 2018

I'm an atheist and this whole thread is confusing to me. Since when is saying something about god near a non-believer "imposing beliefs?" People pray for me....whatever...they're not making ME pray or making ME observe.

allnurses Guide · Feb 6, 2018

I'm an atheist and this whole thread is confusing to me. Since when is saying something about god near a non-believer "imposing beliefs?" People pray for me....whatever...they're not making ME pray or making ME observe.

What is missing here is that the person being prayed over is unable to declined this service. When you do not know what a person's faith is or if they have no faith/religion at all. You should not impose your faith on them. In the instance cited the man was comatose and the OP whispered in his ear ""You may not be here much longer, but you will look presentable and respectable for your family. I will not let you be seen without your dignity and honor. You must endure this for them. We are men; we put our faith in God." the use of the word we assumed that the patient is a believer in God. Even a believer might have a problem being prayed over. My own late grandfather was Irish and about as Catholic as one could get but a long illness with Lou Gehrig's disease left him profoundly angry with God. In his final days he was in and out of consciousness. My grandmother asked a priest to come administer last rights. When the priest arrived and began to anoint my grandfather he suddenly woke up and screamed get the F^&& away from me. I want nothing to do with this God I've been praying to for years. This illness is the thanks I get!" If you feel the need to pray for someone do it in the locker room. Not standing over a dying patient.

Peace

Hppy

Knotanoonurse · Feb 7, 2018

I am more jaded, cynical and an Atheist now.

I can understand your POV. Yes some patients harden you BUT what has done me in is the ruthless lying manager I had and her Director and VP. She was a total narcissist , but was labeled a golden girl. Her cute tricks included hiring her bestie from another hospital over a well qualified current employee. Bestie turned on her. She also had affairs with both a permanent CIO and interim CEO. She called herself RNC but was not actually certified. Also pulled out her daughter's prenatal, read aloud, and complained about how irresponsible it was for her daughter to be pregnant.

I worked at a different hospital and had a staff nurse lie on an incident report about an error she made and tried to blame me for. I guess she did not realize I reviewed all of the incident reports. She just got a little talking to and when she cried the unit manager gave her a hug and no punishment or write up. So much for integrity. I am a bit cynical now!

SpankedInPittsburgh, DNP, RN · Feb 7, 2018

I'm an atheist and this whole thread is confusing to me. Since when is saying something about god near a non-believer "imposing beliefs?" People pray for me....whatever...they're not making ME pray or making ME observe.

I think if you are laying there dying and cannot tell the zealot to get lost you are a captive audience. This is the very definition of being a captive audience and having beliefs imposed on you. Forcing a dying patient to be subject to this bizarre, unprofessional conduct when he is in no position to stop it or report it. I wonder how many fully cognizant patients are subject to this abuse. I bet a whole lot less because its indefensible and an offense that would lead to termination where I work & that's as it should be.

Crush · Feb 7, 2018

Just the usual stuff:
I look at my friends and families and see chronic conditions starting and wonder how it will end.
I am very protective of my mobility.
I look at my spouse and think of all the things that I have seen and want to spare us from as we age.
My words are optimistic but my thoughts are very pragmatic.
I have become somewhat utilitarian in my clothing and nutrition.
I am wary of excess sugar in my diet.
I care about organs, like pancreas and kidneys, that I never thought about before.
I am grateful that I live a life free of pain.
I am grateful for the affection, support, and humor of my loved ones. Some people are so alone.
I am grateful that my mind is clear and I am not at war with myself.

Absolutely. I would add that I find more and more that I am so grateful for the little things in life and the people in my life.

Nursing has made me more aware of how I take care of or don't take care of myself as well.

A word on the topic of comatose patients. I still recall a person ( I was a tech at the time ) who woke up from a coma and told us all about our family, love life, gossip, etc. that staff had discussed in the pts room while providing care. While not every detail was remembered by the pt, it was enough to be etched in my mind.

allnurses Guide · Feb 7, 2018

For the record, I hope my patient was able to hear me. I doubt it, but I hope so. I did my best for him and his family, and my best is something I have always had a very good reputation for as a nurse, even among people who didn't like me. Keep in mind, the reason I did all that I did for him was because a bunch of lazy nurses before me never did--probably atheists.
So, my best comes with my religious convictions. The only reason I'm a nurse and not an accountant is because of my religious convictions. I have had so many dying patients. I have been on so many codes. When you've walked a mile in my shoes then I might listen to you. I loved my patient as I love myself. I did unto him, as I would have it done unto me. That's what my best comes with. And I can tell you right now, he was lucky I was his nurse. He never regained consciousness. He died. But when his family came to see him, he looked dignified instead of disheveled. He was clean, orderly, smelled good, and looking at peace.
Judge me? Go judge yourself.
I was his nurse. He was my patient. He couldn't do for himself, so I did for him. And if the worst thing he had to endure was my statement of faith meant to encourage him and give him strength, then he got off pretty easy. He was an old man, a vet, he raised a family. I doubt he was offended by my comments--and I hope that he did hear them.

Your religious convictions should never come into play when caring for a patient. You've made it about you, and not the patient. Your intentions may be good, but it's insensitive, selfish, and plain unprofessional to start whispering your convictions in a comatose patient's ear behind a closed door. Would you do this in front of family or other staff? My guess would be no. You may say it's because you don't want to be judged, but I would guess that you know it's wrong, and you don't want witnesses.

What you are doing is a fireable offense. Worse than that, it is taking advantage of someone who does not have the ability to refuse your proselytizing. I would certainly report you or anyone else doing this, regardless of religion.

SpankedInPittsburgh, DNP, RN · Feb 7, 2018

YEP!!! BC said it all!!!