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How much personal info do you share with parents?

Private Duty   (10,018 Views 53 Comments)
by smartnurse1982 smartnurse1982 (Member) Member Nurse

smartnurse1982 has 7 years experience .

24,298 Profile Views; 1,775 Posts

I have been at this for long,but i feel like parents somehow view me as an "outsider".

For example,i am courteous,but i do not like to share anything personal.

I mean,i do share with them my education and experience,but it stops right there.

I do not like to engage in small talk about celebs,current events,other nurses,my daily plans,my other cases,etc.

Some of these cases i have been going to for 5 yrs,but we seem "distant".

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SDALPN specializes in Peds(PICU, NICU float), PDN, ICU.

997 Posts; 16,260 Profile Views

Good topic!

I discuss some personal things. Usually very neutral topics. Of course it seems the first question most people ask is "are you married?" And "do you have kids?". That is personal quick, but seems to be very common questions. I will answer those type of questions. I garden and do a few other activities outside of work. I will discuss that when appropriate. I don't think talking about gardening will backfire on me, but it lets the family get to know me without crossing boundaries.

I hate when they ask really personal stuff. Then it gets awkward.

Had an awkward moment last night. Not really personal, but some conversations can awkward in this job. The family had the discovery fit and health channel on. The patients uncle was there talking to me. A commercial came on about a new show called "sex sent me to the ER". He knew I've worked in the ER in the past and the questions came. While not personal, the conversation was uncomfortable.

I have had parents ask about my dating life, exes, private family stuff, etc. I'm more comfortable sticking to neutral topics or topics relating to the patient/job.

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327 Posts; 4,277 Profile Views

I tell patients lots of stuff depending on the individual. Patients in the ED are often nervous, chatter helps pass the time.

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556 Posts; 8,773 Profile Views

I don't tell any of my personal business unless it's funny or something we can relate to. Never about sex, fights, politics, religious beliefs. Never talk about another nurse. I usually leave cases where the PCG likes to gossip or hound me with personal questions. Or the deal breaker thinks they know more about Harry Potter than me when they never read the books. 100% deal breaker!

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389 Posts; 7,140 Profile Views

General stuff, family, kids, gardening, shopping. No politics (that's hard because I am a politic junkie), no religion unless it's for therapeutic purposes (praying together if asked), No details about where I go or what I do.

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smartnurse1982 has 7 years experience.

1,775 Posts; 24,298 Profile Views

I do have to share my religious beliefs esp during Christmas and birthdays.

One of the nurses on the cases invited the family to her big cookout.

They went but i am not sure if they had a blast. I only know because i was working with the kid while they went at 12am on a Friday night.

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As many times as something I said comes back to bite me in the butt, I would think that I would know how to place the heavy duty tape across my mouth by now. Although almost all of what I have ever said about myself has been innocent enough, the truly manipulative and passive aggressive masters have been able to take a tidbit and run to the bank with it. I then kick myself in the rear for forgetting that I am not dealing with the somewhat normal.

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I mention my children, but I am usually asked where I live. I do not disclosure my personal location. Also my phone number, at this point I have been there almost 2 years, so they have my cell, but only for texting, i will be there in 5 mins or open the door please I am outside and have been for 10 mins. I work night shift so sometimes they over sleep.

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smartnurse1982 has 7 years experience.

1,775 Posts; 24,298 Profile Views

Good topic!

I discuss some personal things. Usually very neutral topics. Of course it seems the first question most people ask is "are you married?" And "do you have kids?"..

.

I hate those 2 questions.

I hate having to answer those questions.

Do you ever "lie" to fit in more?

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SDALPN specializes in Peds(PICU, NICU float), PDN, ICU.

997 Posts; 16,260 Profile Views

I hate those 2 questions.

I hate having to answer those questions.

Do you ever "lie" to fit in more?

I've never lied. But some parents don't understand how I don't have kids and can work with them. I look young for my age. I'm mid 30s, but just the other day had a nurse think I was in my early 20s. Have had parents think the same thing. I'm not married. So when I explain I'm not married, I always get this look when they find out my age. And I hate explaining my past and why I'm still not married. I missed becoming a widow by weeks. But telling that story gets reactions that I don't want. The hole gets dug deeper and too personal too fast. Just the other day a nurse asked me why I haven't married the guy I'm with. So it seems even nurses push boundaries too. I've thought about lying, but I don't want a story to keep up.

I'm curious to see who has lied, about what, and why.

Just a thought, with all the personal info out there, how often do you think the parents look us up online? They have our names and know what city we live in. They all seem to ask me where I live too...I just give the city and nothing more. I use Facebook to project a good appearance by making a select few posts public, but the rest is private. That way if someone looks me up, they only see positive stuff and they feel like they see something private. But my private posts stay private.

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SDALPN - I only ever looked up one nurse because I was 99.9% sure she was a victim of domestic violence and just wanted to see if she was posting anything anywhere that would confirm or deny this.

I like to hear about nurses' children and their funny/cute stories or accomplishments; cool hobbies that nurses have (one of ours made fancy pottery); any exciting plans (vacations, weddings).

One of our nurses had a lovely little boy but she (inexplicably) felt so guilty about our son's condition that she always felt like she was bragging when she talked about her healthy little boy.

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smartnurse1982 has 7 years experience.

1,775 Posts; 24,298 Profile Views

I do not tell parents what city i live in.

I do not tell them my ethnicity or what country i was born in,even if we are from the same country.

Kids,family,never.

My higher functioning Autism,never ever ever.

But it seems people pick up on that and act accordingly,which is give me the silent treatment.

Even fellow nurses do it.

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