How much compassion is necessary to be a Great RN ??

Nurses Men

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Hello men!

Names Kevin. 1st time poster. Have a question for you current RN's who proudly uphold the Y chromosome.

I am an Army prior service combat veteran/adrenaline junkie.

I was an RT student doing my 1st rotation of clinicals in the ER of a hospital. It was a slow night with few customers outside of the usual druggie wanting their fix, or druggie taking so much we needed to give them a blast of life intravenously. We got a PT who had reached her time to go in the ER, had to revive her once. Basically at that point she was barely responsive, family members were inside watching and waiting for her last breath to be taken. I was at the head of the bed with ambu delivery when needed, no intubation...not enough time. Needless to say she passed. The family was crying, RN's hugging & crying as well. Me, I was ready to go do my rounds of breathing treatments before I got to work on the next PT in the ER. ( This isn't me trying to sound like I'm a total jerk, or heartless or whatever. I'm solely being honest so I can get your opinions on whether or not I should pursue nursing ).

The RT I was shadowing was suprised at how non-chalont, for lack of better words, I was with this experience. I did end up quitting the program due to a want for more interaction with the PTs as an RN or something of that nature.

To be honest I experienced a lot of things while overseas, both good and bad. I still felt as though I was giving great care when working with other PTs on the floor, as well as other ER PTs. What do you fellas think, would this mindset help me or stop me from being a good nurse? Any advice is appreciated! -Kev

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I don't have a y chromosome but thought I'd answer anyway...as a nurse you certainly need compassion but that doesn't necessitate crying everytime a patient dies. I think the question is would you be able to effectively comfort and care for the needs of the family who just lost a loved one? This is in the scope of the RN.

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heidi94 thanks for the response. To elaborate when I said I was ready to do my rounds I was mentally ready for it. I did not show my PT's family members this, instead I told them I was sorry and stayed there with the family listening to their fondest memories of the PT until they moved the deceased PT out. I feel as though my listening to them share their intimate memories of the PT was comforting in itself and taking care of their needs as the bereaved :)

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Specializes in ER, ICU.

Being calm in an emergency is good. Being seen as uncaring is not. But you can project caring as part of your professional demeanor and be calm and caring, this is my mojo. Good luck and thanks for your service.

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Specializes in Critical Care.

I think you'll be fine. This is normal. At least for some of us girls. ;-)

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From a female perspective I think you sound pretty normal. You have good self awareness and know you are not Mr. Compassion. You can "fake" compassion..."I'm sorry for your loss, here's a box of tissue, I will have the social worker, or minister, or charge nurse, come sit with you."

Caring is nice but can be faked, competence cannot be faked.

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Thank you all for your replies & PMs! It's always nice to hear from a fellow service member!

I do appreciate the information and with this advice and whatnot I think I will continue to pursue my ADN. I need two more semesters of pre-reqs, which will take a while, but also leaves me plenty of time for studying the NCLEX. I wish my classes from the trade school I was attending carried over, in the very least A&P. ( Mine didn't have labs ). Pharm was great but pretty much only focused on RT drugs. I will continue reading and learning from this website! Thanks everyone! :)

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Specializes in Emergency Department.

Hi, male nurse of over 30 years. Last 20 in an ED. From my perspective you do need to have compassion but you do not need to get all hysterical and teary and need the kleenex to show it. A simple touch on the shoulder and a, "are you OK?" is sometimes enough. Nothing wrong with a tear but I tend to reserve that for dead children/babies. What I do is go quiet and have a beer when I get home.

Don't have respiratory therapists (at least as I understand what you mean) over here so not sure what your training for that entailed.

My advice? Go for it, be a nurse and be the best nurse you can be.

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I ran into a similar situation my first semester of clinicals. Got asked to help with a bed bath the pts stats started dropping half way through we got the nurse and the pt passed. The nurse and the other student I was with began crying. I had no feelings like that. I was just glad we got the pt cleaned up and ready for the family to see. I was able to provide respectful care but I didn't need to cry for them.(Idk how I would do with a child. That may get me) I think as long as your compassionate enough to give your pt the best care you can, that's all that matters.

Thanks for your service btw.

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Grumpy and Jrhemming thanks for the replies! I think I am more than capable to do the recommended. And I agree with both of you when it comes to childcare and losing them. While on clinicals I had a young pt (2 or 3) who needed breathing treatments and IV set up, I began administering her treatment which was freaking her out and raising her hr of course making it worse. I had to strap her mask on and hold her down with all my strength while the nurse started her iv. The child was so scared! That really tugged on my heart strings but we got her stable once she could breath again on her own and her mom was there in the er with her. These are the reasons I'm pursuing nursing, saving a life...it's a beautiful thing to be a part of

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Specializes in Hospice, Rehab.

Something that wasn't mentioned is that it's not just the family that needs your compassion. It's your team members as well. Your preceptor was probably in a place where he/she would liked to have processed the experience with you. Part of that may have been sharing humanity, and who knows, maybe your preceptor wanted to get a feel for you as a person. There is much in the education of a practitioner that is still intangible. To answer your question, if you're in health care, your compassion must be limitless, but your ability to manage your compassion must be very, very strong. By the way, I like that you want to have a fuller role in the care of your patients. As a nurse you get to see the big picture. But I envy your RT training; RTs are awesome and make great partners.

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Specializes in Prior military RN/current ICU RN..

Judging people as "druggies" is not a good way to start. Many people have been abused or come from horrific backgrounds. Understanding that not everyone is you and grew up as you did...very important. Maybe that "druggie" was raped or abused for first 15 years of their life. If you want to be a nurse...putting your patients best interests first is the start. If you go home and don't care one bit about the patients that is your buisiness. At work you will need to be kind and respectful..even to "druggies".

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