Names Kevin. 1st time poster. Have a question for you current RN's who proudly uphold the Y chromosome.
I am an Army prior service combat veteran/adrenaline junkie.
I was an RT student doing my 1st rotation of clinicals in the ER of a hospital. It was a slow night with few customers outside of the usual druggie wanting their fix, or druggie taking so much we needed to give them a blast of life intravenously. We got a PT who had reached her time to go in the ER, had to revive her once. Basically at that point she was barely responsive, family members were inside watching and waiting for her last breath to be taken. I was at the head of the bed with ambu delivery when needed, no intubation...not enough time. Needless to say she passed. The family was crying, RN's hugging & crying as well. Me, I was ready to go do my rounds of breathing treatments before I got to work on the next PT in the ER. ( This isn't me trying to sound like I'm a total jerk, or heartless or whatever. I'm solely being honest so I can get your opinions on whether or not I should pursue nursing ).
The RT I was shadowing was suprised at how non-chalont, for lack of better words, I was with this experience. I did end up quitting the program due to a want for more interaction with the PTs as an RN or something of that nature.
To be honest I experienced a lot of things while overseas, both good and bad. I still felt as though I was giving great care when working with other PTs on the floor, as well as other ER PTs. What do you fellas think, would this mindset help me or stop me from being a good nurse? Any advice is appreciated! -Kev
I'm also not a holder of the Y chromosome but I do have to say I'm also kind of in the "meh" camp when it comes to death. It's not something that inspires tears for me. I am from a completely strange philosophical background that kind of views someone dying as a wonderful thing - they are released from the suffering of life into either nothingness or the opportunity for something better. I feel badly for the family and all so I do my best for them in terms of therapeutic support. In nursing school, we have several lectures and simulations dedicated to how to deal with this in the most compassionate, professional way possible. So, that should say something in terms of how we're prepared to respond. Based on your experiences and comments, I think you're going to do just fine. :)
OldPhatMC - I actually did not think of that. I could understand that being a good way to test my strengths and weaknesses. I cannot wait to get a much more in depth relationship with my pt's. As I mentioned before, the only experience I have is that one clinical but it seemed to me that the RN's had much more interaction with their pt's, as well as having many more than the RT's. That may have been due to the size of the hospital though And yes all my RT student friends were sad to see me go. The training is quite thorough I must say!
windsurfer8 - Ahahaha! Dictionary . com defines druggie as a habitual user of drugs, especially a narcotic or illicit drug. The PT's I referred to were indeed frequent flyers with same dx. I'm assuming you had the presupposition that it was used in a negative connotation? Judging people's usage of words is not a way to reply. I'm not sure where you read I judged them or lacked kindness or respect due to their extensive drug usage. Lol. Maybe another presupposition? Also I did not stop the doc from administering Naloxone cycles IV, therefore I had the PT's best interest in mind. Perhaps reread the initial post and try replying again with your true feelings next time?
..... I do have to say I'm also kind of in the "meh" camp when it comes to death. It's not something that inspires tears for me. I am from a completely strange philosophical background that kind of views someone dying as a wonderful thing - they are released from the suffering of life into either nothingness or the opportunity for something better. I feel badly for the family and all so I do my best for them in terms of therapeutic support.
Far too nihilistic for my taste, we only get one go at this life and to see someone cut short is the sad thing. I have no problems when someone in their 80's or 90's die, they have had a good innings, but when a child dies there is a loss of the future and what they may have become. I understand that it just Darwin at work and fully accept it. I don't have to like it.
I'm going to take a bit of a contrarian view of most people here. You don't have to have any compassion to be a nurse, even possibly a "great" nurse. That being said, the best nurses I know, to a person, have great compassion for their fellow person, but are also very skilled in managing it.
I know that I don't have the same response to death as others do... but then again, I've probably been around it more than many others simply because I used to be a Paramedic. A few years ago, while I was in school, I had a patient that passed on and the nurse I was working with had a stronger reaction to it than I did. I think it was her first or second death of a patient. It was probably my 26th. Most of those I worked on for a while. I'm probably just more used to it and have come to terms with Death so it now just doesn't bother me much, if at all.
Now this doesn't mean I don't have any compassion. Far from it, and I don't fake it. While you're my patient, I will care for and about you, but once you leave my care, I move on. If you die, yeah that sucks, but I move on.
It's OK to be ready to move on... just don't get so detached that you don't care what happens while they're your patient.
I'm going to take a bit of a contrarian view of most people here. You don't have to have any compassion to be a nurse, even possibly a "great" nurse. That being said, the best nurses I know, to a person, have great compassion for their fellow person, but are also very skilled in managing it.
You have stated no compassion necessary and in the next sentence stated the best nurses have great compassion. Which is it? Can't be both.
I will be absolutely honest, if the death of a child or baby suddenly and/or traumatically does nothing to you I wonder if you perhaps have a touch of PTSD? Not a criticism but perhaps you should question yourself.
To everyone else, I am not trying to hijack this thread with talk of death and dying but I used it initially as an example and it has now been brought up by other people.
I know I'm not even close to that day. I dread it none the less, when I lose a child patient. Hopefully my training will be strong enough to where I can prevent such a loss. I know you can't save them all but I can dang well try! Don't apologize Grumpy, I like the insight. The only true insight I have is from this forum. I am hoping to contact the DON at my local hospital tomorrow to set up an orientation to shadow an RN. Here's to hoping!
You have stated no compassion necessary and in the next sentence stated the best nurses have great compassion. Which is it? Can't be both.
I will be absolutely honest, if the death of a child or baby suddenly and/or traumatically does nothing to you I wonder if you perhaps have a touch of PTSD? Not a criticism but perhaps you should question yourself.
To everyone else, I am not trying to hijack this thread with talk of death and dying but I used it initially as an example and it has now been brought up by other people.
What I said was that you don't have to have compassion... but that all the "great" nurses that I know have compassion. Compassion isn't necessary, nor is it vital to doing the job because you don't need it for the things we do. Compassion and empathy are things that help make patients feel comforted. They don't want to be cared for by people that clearly "just don't care."
Also, I didn't say that the death of someone (be it child/baby) doesn't affect me at all. I just said that I know from experience that I respond differently than many people do. I have come to terms with death and know that sometimes death visits upon people very unexpectedly. I can't change that. I do my job to try to nudge people back toward life, but if death has too great a grip, people won't come back to the land of the living. Quite honestly, when someone dies, my attention shifts from the deceased to that of the family. Always remember that the family is as much "your patient" as the actual patient is. You can't take personal ownership of someone else's problems or situations. If you do, you invite compassion fatigue.
What I said was that you don't have to have compassion... but that all the "great" nurses that I know have compassion. Compassion isn't necessary, nor is it vital to doing the job because you don't need it for the things we do. Compassion and empathy are things that help make patients feel comforted. They don't want to be cared for by people that clearly "just don't care."
Are you happy just being a mediocre (at best) nurse? Or do you not wish to aim for 'greatness'?
Also, I didn't say that the death of someone (be it child/baby) doesn't affect me at all. I just said that I know from experience that I respond differently than many people do. I have come to terms with death and know that sometimes death visits upon people very unexpectedly. I can't change that. I do my job to try to nudge people back toward life, but if death has too great a grip, people won't come back to the land of the living. Quite honestly, when someone dies, my attention shifts from the deceased to that of the family. Always remember that the family is as much "your patient" as the actual patient is. You can't take personal ownership of someone else's problems or situations. If you do, you invite compassion fatigue.
And I did say I was not criticising. You stated; "I'm probably just more used to it and have come to terms with Death so it now just doesn't bother me much, if at all."
I'm 42, combat vet, graduated in 2014, been a floor nurse for about 16 months now.
I have found different patients affect you differently. We've lost patient that I have been in on the code on, and while I have felt sadness, I am unsure how much of it showed outwardly. Then yesterday I had a patient of my own code, I found her, called the code and started compressions. We got her back. I was wrecked after it was over. My voice cracked and I started tearing up, I took a break in the med room to get myself collected.
I think you can possibly be an adequate nurse even if you aren't compassionate. But you will never be great. If you can't make an emotional connection with your patient, you are going to burn out and hate the job. Just my opinion, your mileage may vary.
I agree that different patients affect you differently.
I'm compassionate but I definitely notice that at times I literally just don't produce the raw compassion I did when I started not so long ago.
I also have to add that compassion fatigue is extremely real and guilt inducing when you become cognizant of it.
It most certainly doesn't mean my nursing care is any less caring or comforting.
It's not that I don't care. It's not that I cannot empathize but when you've seen hundreds of patients cry over pain or a cancer diagnosis, reactions almost become dialogued and reversed in accordance to the situation at hand.
And yes all my RT student friends were sad to see me go. The training is quite thorough I must say! 
la_chica_suerte85, BSN, RN
1,260 Posts
I'm also not a holder of the Y chromosome but I do have to say I'm also kind of in the "meh" camp when it comes to death. It's not something that inspires tears for me. I am from a completely strange philosophical background that kind of views someone dying as a wonderful thing - they are released from the suffering of life into either nothingness or the opportunity for something better. I feel badly for the family and all so I do my best for them in terms of therapeutic support. In nursing school, we have several lectures and simulations dedicated to how to deal with this in the most compassionate, professional way possible. So, that should say something in terms of how we're prepared to respond. Based on your experiences and comments, I think you're going to do just fine. :)