How long should one grieve after losing job?

[purplegal]

Last Friday, I made the very difficult decision to leave an awesome nursing position--my first nursing position--as a cardiac progressive care nurse, to both adult and peds patients, and return to my former role as an ECG Technician, as placement office at my current employer was not willing to recommend me to another floor/unit. I have been devastated ever since. Family and friends have encouraged me to look for new positions, but I don't feel that I'm ready. I'm feeling so negative and depressed that I do not feel I could make a new position work at this point. Yet, I don't want to give up on using my license and nursing degree that I worked so hard for, forever. How long should I give myself to grieve before I need to move on?

[morte, LPN, LVN]

don not, I repeat, do not discuss any of this at work.

[roser13, ASN, RN]

Even the littlest things set me off. I saw that I was removed from their email list, and I have spent who knows how long screaming.

I can't take this anymore.

Do you have any connections with mental health resources? I'm thinking that you may be best advised to seek some counseling before attempting to move on.

[brandy1017, ASN, RN]

Are you friends with any of the cardiologists? Would it be possible to get an office job working for one of them? Bedside nursing is very stressful and it is not your only option!

If you want to stay bedside the next time should be easier because of the past three months of experience. I understand your sorrow but you are not the first or only nurse that was forced to leave their first job nor the first that was miserable. Your feelings are very common and many nurses leave their first job looking for something better. Please put this behind you and look elsewhere. Don't stay stuck! Whatever the issues were you can learn from them and grow and improve your weak areas. You do not have to give up. There are other jobs out there. Sometimes its easier to go where no one knows you and where there may be less expectations of you.

Good luck!

[vintagemother, BSN, CNA, LVN, RN]

As the other posters have said, I recommend positive self talk. Boost yourself up. Not all units are a good match for new nurses.

Maybe grieve for a few weeks, then put yourself out there. I've been there, done that! Put in a few apps (5/wk) and hopefully you score a new job within a month or 2. And hopefully, your spirits are lifted by then and you can go shine at your new job and put the past behind you!

[jpriley]

The exact same thing happened to me. A cardiac step-down unit is hard, and so is orienting to everything else you learn as a new nurse. I left my position and went home and applied at every other hospital I could including the one I was at and was called back by several. I got a job working on a med-surg floor and it is so much better than I could have ever thought when I was struggling through orientation on the other floor. I also thought that the cardiac floor was such a great job, but it is not for everyone. Once you mourn your dreams of what you thought things were going to be try again. It is worth it!

[Heismystrength]

I have a friend that had quite the same thing happen to her a few months ago.

First thing is, It Will definitely be much harder to get over than most people think, simply because it is different for everyone.... So, just know that unfortunately it is not the answer you want to hear, and it is not a quick fit (sorry).... But the sadness will soon disappear and as hard as it may seem, Please understand you have to think as possitive as you can or you will keep feeling down and depressed. How else can negatively make you feel. For instance, maybe this happened for a good reason, you didn't seem to be grasping the cardiac job, and you were so miserable so now is your time to explore as others have said and find what you are great at and that you love. You can and you will. But you have to believe this sadness is temporary and You Can move forward and You can find a job you will love or at least be great at :) And I understand 110% about taking your old job back until you find another job. And don't beat yourself up over this job or even the next job if you don't love it nor if your not great at it. You worked your butt off for a Degree than gives you so many choices.... Your an RN not a tech, there is a huge reason why you chose to become an RN, prove it to yourself....thats all you owe it to. No one else. You need to realize like your family and friends, that you can do it. And thats how you can.

Good luck & Best wishes for ya........And let everyone know how it went for you ok. God Bless

[Difri]

It sounds like your employer did not provide you with adequate training with which to do your job in a specialized unit. Don't define yourself by this experience! Your education is valuable and should be used where it's needed most: At a new nursing job! Take some time (depending on your finances) to re-group, then start looking!

[TU RN, DNP, CRNA]

It all comes down to a simple choice: get busy living or get busy dying.

[tsm007]

Do you have any idea how many new nurses this happens to? Me, for one. I didn't make it past 6 weeks at my first job. I'm still not quite to the year mark as a nurse, but I decided to take a break from hospitals and do some nursing home work. It was great experience for me and I just applied to a hospital this week, have an interview today actually! The nursing homes gave me time to work on my skills and rebuild my confidence. All my coworkers tell me I do a great job and that's helped being in a supportive environment. I still get a little grouchy about my first job and may want to get back into that area of work in the future, but I wouldn't let that hold me back. My mantra after leaving my first job was "it's sink or swim time". It's not the end of the world. Put your grieving on the back burner and work on getting yourself another job as a nurse.

[LoriUnion]

Hey Purplegal! I say you grieve for about 10 seconds and then try for another great opportunity at an even better employer! I have been a nurse for 20 years and in the industry for about 25 years and in my experience, lots of times we are considered replaceable. It may not have been the place for you, but there is definitely a great place for you out there where you will feel comfortable and can feel good about yourself and your skills will flourish. God closes doors for you to go through another one where you will be able to grow. Remember that! :)

[wolf9653]

a month maybe. Everybody's different. The first job can be a real killer.You'll still feel the sting for a while, but at least you'll be over the hump. It sounds like they put you there because of your cardiac skills, neglecting to realize that your nursing skills were still at a new grad level. They really should have put you in a new grad program. I don't know if they can be of any further assistance in getting your skills up to expectations, but I'd suggest a position more appropriate for a person with your level of experience. You'll do much better where the expectations are more realistic.

[sorry]

Get Up and move on, leave the past behind. Everybody grieves differently, but for sure if you sit around grieving too long it will lead you into depression and that you do not need. I am a old LPN and nursing life is not perfect, yes you are new, yes you will move slow, yes you do not know everything, and yes you will ask too many questions, but you will not learn if you do not ask. As a LPN with many years of experience I know what you are going through and that will not be the first time nor the last time, but get back out there into the field that you worked so hard to obtain that degree (RN).

Remember that when one bad door close on you, God WILL open a better one.