tldr; Toxic manager (LPN) using me (RN) for my license in LTC setting, threatens to report me to the board if I leave.
I've been working in the LTC setting for the past 9 months. This was anticipated to be a short term solution, as the last hospital I worked at closed unexpectedly. I'm also PRN at a hospital in my previous specialty, which I would want to work at full time if the position was available.
I'm the only RN at the small LTC facility, and the manager is a long time LPN. There were 2 other RNs at one point, but they quit. They've been looking for another RN for the past 5 months without any success. I used to really enjoy working there, but over the past few weeks, I've begun to see how toxic management is. The manager has always been very controlling, and has squashed any attempts I've made at independence, while also pressuring me to do everything independently. If I were to insist on doing something differently than how she'd do it, she'll say in a huff, "Oh, well, it's your license." Making me feel not only unsupported but incompetent, and also that she's using me and my RN license to implement changes that she wouldn't be able to do with only her LPN license.
I asked her what she would've done if I hadn't applied when I did, and she said that they had another applicant that was previously an LTC DON for over a decade, but she decided on me instead because I was, "more trainable." Which I now interpret as, "more easy to manipulate into doing what I want you to do."
She made the comment the other day about how herself and the assistant manager (non nurse) had to take on RN duties when they've been without an RN in the past. I asked how they were able to do this as it was obviously outside of their scope, and she replied that in our setting if no RN is available and a job opening is posted, that management can take on RN duties.
When digging further on why they were without an RN, apparently it was due to not only one, but several RNs quitting and leaving them without an RN over the years. The manager asked me if I knew what they did to the RNs that quit like that. "Reported them to the board?" I questioned, and she nodded, looking at me severely, making me feel that she intended to do the same to me if I were to quit.
The work they want me to do would involve 80+ hours per week to accomplish, and they have me capped at 50 hours. I'm told on a daily basis how I'm not meeting expectations. When I reply that no one could feasibly do the work expected in the hours allotted and say we need another nurse, all the manager says is, "Well, we're trying." She tells me of all the places the job opening is posted, and I've yet to see it anywhere (believe me, I've looked). They also want me to take on being on call 24/7 without adjusting my pay to reflect that increase in hours. I'm already on call 24/7, but the manager takes the initial calls and dispatches them to me if necessary. They want to salary me, but I know it's just an attempt at increasing my hours and responsibilities without having to pay me overtime for actual hours worked.
I honestly don't know what to do. It's gotten to the point that I actively dread going to work due to the anxiety being there causes. I've even thought about quitting and using COBRA to keep my health insurance and just pick up at my PRN job to supplement until there's a scheduled position available. I could get full time hours picking up at my PRN job, and if a position became available, I'd have seniority in applying for it.
Would the manager have grounds to report me to the board if I quit, since I'm the only RN? Would I have to stay on at least part time until another RN is hired?
Not an RN here, but I worked with the only RN in the house. I quit my job in less than 90 days. A few patients told me about things going on in their environment. I was thrown into the heaviest part of the hall with little to no assistance. I ended up having 20-26 patients because the other CNA in my hall was nowhere to be found, only visible during the beginning and ending of the shift. I asked the other CNAs. They felt uncomfortable when I told them about this issue that I couldn't find the person next to me. Not that I didn't want to answer her call lights, my assignments were needy and the heaviest part of our unit. I didn't bother her to assist me. Not one iota.All I wanted that she took care of her assignments. A nurse was the one who always helped me because the patient was the size of water buffalo and was immobilized. The nurse and I took turned taking care of her call lights. Anyway, her comrade's argument that it should be easy for me because..."Why is she here if she is not answering her call light?" I asked. I told my supervisor I won't come back. I'm too tired to make enemies for calling on their shenanigans. All I observed, were filled with like-minded people. I don't understand why the management allows this.
I feel bad for the RN. I wish her luck. She was younger than me, possibly by ten years, unless she was my age. I hope she will dig herself out of the hell.
tldr; My last day is the end of this month. Facility still remains as toxic as a landfill.
OP Update:
I put in my 2 weeks on Monday. I phrased it in my resignation as, "I cannot dedicate my time to the capacity required for (company name) to succeed."
I attempted to talk to the manager all day Monday, but she was, "busy," and could only talk if it was, "quick." I ended up just leaving the resignation letter on her desk before I left for the day.
Nothing was mentioned the day after, so I was wondering if she saw it, disregarded it, and threw it away, or if someone else saw it and got rid of it before she saw it.
This morning, she asked why I was so tired, and I answered honestly. Having to come here every day stresses me out to the point that I can't sleep. "You're feeling overwhelmed?" she asked innocently, as if it was a shock that what I've been dealing with is overwhelming. "Just maintain until you exit." is all she said about it after that.
Toxicity Update:
My friend recently started working there as well. This was before management's toxicity became so apparent. She has experience working in healthcare, and I thought she would be a good fit. The other employees have been nothing but horrible to her since she started (I won't get too into it - that's her post to make). We're thinking is because she's my friend (and apparently some of the aides "can't stand me," and she's become the unfortunate secondary target of their aggression).
Management told her, "Maybe it's best you don't work here," following the submission of my resignation.
Management has also been sharing my health information with other employees without my consent. I know it is the manager sharing because she is the only one I told at work (my doctor required that I take a day of work off due to it - had to explain my required absence) and I've not otherwise shared it via social media or otherwise. Other employees started asking my friend, "Well, did that (health event) really happen?"
Apparently, they discredited my family member's unexpected death months ago as well, stating that the manner in which they died was, "convenient," when speaking to my friend about it. Very convenient, seeing as the only, "time off," I got was leaving work an hour early so I could call my family members about it. As well as not being able to attend their funeral as it was out of state and the company does not allow out of state travel without 14 days of quarantine following return (and that's something that simply, "wouldn't be approved.").
Glad I'm leaving - just counting down the days at this point. Thank you all for being supportive and helping me see how bad things are there. I hope I can share this experience with other baby nurses so they know what red flags to look out for!
tldr; My last day is the end of this month. Facility still remains as toxic as a landfill.
OP Update:
I put in my 2 weeks on Monday. I phrased it in my resignation as, "I cannot dedicate my time to the capacity required for (company name) to succeed."
I attempted to talk to the manager all day Monday, but she was, "busy," and could only talk if it was, "quick." I ended up just leaving the resignation letter on her desk before I left for the day.
Nothing was mentioned the day after, so I was wondering if she saw it, disregarded it, and threw it away, or if someone else saw it and got rid of it before she saw it.
This morning, she asked why I was so tired, and I answered honestly. Having to come here every day stresses me out to the point that I can't sleep. "You're feeling overwhelmed?" she asked innocently, as if it was a shock that what I've been dealing with is overwhelming. "Just maintain until you exit." is all she said about it after that.
Toxicity Update:
My friend recently started working there as well. This was before management's toxicity became so apparent. She has experience working in healthcare, and I thought she would be a good fit. The other employees have been nothing but horrible to her since she started (I won't get too into it - that's her post to make). We're thinking is because she's my friend (and apparently some of the aides "can't stand me," and she's become the unfortunate secondary target of their aggression).
Management told her, "Maybe it's best you don't work here," following the submission of my resignation.
Management has also been sharing my health information with other employees without my consent. I know it is the manager sharing because she is the only one I told at work (my doctor required that I take a day of work off due to it - had to explain my required absence) and I've not otherwise shared it via social media or otherwise. Other employees started asking my friend, "Well, did that (health event) really happen?"
Apparently, they discredited my family member's unexpected death months ago as well, stating that the manner in which they died was, "convenient," when speaking to my friend about it. Very convenient, seeing as the only, "time off," I got was leaving work an hour early so I could call my family members about it. As well as not being able to attend their funeral as it was out of state and the company does not allow out of state travel without 14 days of quarantine following return (and that's something that simply, "wouldn't be approved.").
Glad I'm leaving - just counting down the days at this point. Thank you all for being supportive and helping me see how bad things are there. I hope I can share this experience with other baby nurses so they know what red flags to look out for!
Wow I’m so sorry you’ve had to endure this. =( I’m glad you’re getting out of there!
my employer is also toxic. My manager asked me if this position is right for me because I asked the for the policy for the job they want me to do following a 1h orientation to a newly developed speciality area. What a joke of a human being.
turns out there is no policy haha. I wonder how the interview process goes for these nut jobs in management sometimes.
OP - I bet you feel like the whole world's burden has just been lifted off your shoulders! Isn''t that a good feeling?!?! You'll feel a little 'empty' - like at 'loose ends' for a bit. But time to move on and you should do well.
tldr; My last day is the end of this month. Facility still remains as toxic as a landfill.
OP Update:
I put in my 2 weeks on Monday. I phrased it in my resignation as, "I cannot dedicate my time to the capacity required for (company name) to succeed."
I attempted to talk to the manager all day Monday, but she was, "busy," and could only talk if it was, "quick." I ended up just leaving the resignation letter on her desk before I left for the day.
Nothing was mentioned the day after, so I was wondering if she saw it, disregarded it, and threw it away, or if someone else saw it and got rid of it before she saw it.
This morning, she asked why I was so tired, and I answered honestly. Having to come here every day stresses me out to the point that I can't sleep. "You're feeling overwhelmed?" she asked innocently, as if it was a shock that what I've been dealing with is overwhelming. "Just maintain until you exit." is all she said about it after that.
Toxicity Update:
My friend recently started working there as well. This was before management's toxicity became so apparent. She has experience working in healthcare, and I thought she would be a good fit. The other employees have been nothing but horrible to her since she started (I won't get too into it - that's her post to make). We're thinking is because she's my friend (and apparently some of the aides "can't stand me," and she's become the unfortunate secondary target of their aggression).
Management told her, "Maybe it's best you don't work here," following the submission of my resignation.
Management has also been sharing my health information with other employees without my consent. I know it is the manager sharing because she is the only one I told at work (my doctor required that I take a day of work off due to it - had to explain my required absence) and I've not otherwise shared it via social media or otherwise. Other employees started asking my friend, "Well, did that (health event) really happen?"
Apparently, they discredited my family member's unexpected death months ago as well, stating that the manner in which they died was, "convenient," when speaking to my friend about it. Very convenient, seeing as the only, "time off," I got was leaving work an hour early so I could call my family members about it. As well as not being able to attend their funeral as it was out of state and the company does not allow out of state travel without 14 days of quarantine following return (and that's something that simply, "wouldn't be approved.").
Glad I'm leaving - just counting down the days at this point. Thank you all for being supportive and helping me see how bad things are there. I hope I can share this experience with other baby nurses so they know what red flags to look out for!
True story, you don't have to disclose why you're calling off. All you need to do is inform them you're calling out. Asking you to validate why is illegal.
Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.
This is how I did it:
Dear XXXX
Regretfully, effective June 15th, I am submitting my resignation. I appreciate all the opportunities for learning and growth while I was employed with you.
I appreciate your consideration and understanding.
"Just maintain until you exit." is all she said about it after that.
Wait, what? She didn't reiterate her threat to report quitter RNs like yourself to the BON? I'm disappointed! Also: Told you so. ?
Well, the end is in sight. Until then:
On 5/20/2021 at 12:07 AM, pumpkinqueen said:
This morning, she asked why I was so tired, and I answered honestly.
.....forget all of this. Don't entertain it. Just shut it down. I sense that you have some internal desire to let her know of her wrong ways. Don't bother--I don't mean that in a negative way; it's just that you are not going to make her feel bad about her behavior. Stop trying. Try to talk to her as little as humanly possible and if she approaches you with these very lame attempts to make you feel like something is wrong with you, shut it down. Don't have a weird look, don't use an upset tone of voice, just be matter of fact and say something like, "Hm. Not sure what you're referring to; I don't feel particularly tired;" then move on with your business before she can reply. Don't stay there and engage in her nonsense.
Please take this as friendly advice: You need to learn a big lesson from this. You need to guard yourself more right from the outset of new professional relationships. Don't engage stupidity and if you're not sure whether something is truth or stupidity (e.g. your belief that she was telling you the truth about resignation being a reasonable reason that someone would be reported to BON)--ask around on the down low!! Find out the facts rather than listening to lies and being manipulated by the likes of her.
To some significant extent, we teach people how they may treat us. That can either be good or bad, depending on what we teach them through our own behavior.
Again, I mean this kindly but you MUST stop engaging others' drama and stupidity. You just have to button up a little or you very well may have similar troubles as soon as you run into the next person willing to take advantage of you and manipulate you.
When a nursing home resident encounters poor care, abuse, or any other issue, it’s not always apparent who they can contact to get assistance. Luckily, there is a country-wide advocacy program to help residents. This is known as the Long-Term Care (LTC) Ombudsman program."
ThursdayNight, CNA
190 Posts
Not an RN here, but I worked with the only RN in the house. I quit my job in less than 90 days. A few patients told me about things going on in their environment. I was thrown into the heaviest part of the hall with little to no assistance. I ended up having 20-26 patients because the other CNA in my hall was nowhere to be found, only visible during the beginning and ending of the shift. I asked the other CNAs. They felt uncomfortable when I told them about this issue that I couldn't find the person next to me. Not that I didn't want to answer her call lights, my assignments were needy and the heaviest part of our unit. I didn't bother her to assist me. Not one iota.All I wanted that she took care of her assignments. A nurse was the one who always helped me because the patient was the size of water buffalo and was immobilized. The nurse and I took turned taking care of her call lights. Anyway, her comrade's argument that it should be easy for me because..."Why is she here if she is not answering her call light?" I asked. I told my supervisor I won't come back. I'm too tired to make enemies for calling on their shenanigans. All I observed, were filled with like-minded people. I don't understand why the management allows this.
I feel bad for the RN. I wish her luck. She was younger than me, possibly by ten years, unless she was my age. I hope she will dig herself out of the hell.