How do you know when you've found your niche? Unhappy with nursing in general

[pinkdoves]

Hello dear friends, it's me again!!

I recently started at a level IV NICU at the children's hospital I was already working at (I was on various med-surg/step down pediatric floors for a little under 2 years before starting in the NICU). I really am tired of feeling drained by nursing. I can't tell if it's the specialties I'm in or just nursing in general that I'm unhappy with. Now that I've started in a new specialty I've become super anxious in and outside of work--similar to how I was as a complete new grad.

I am so determined to like nursing, but I feel like I've been unhappy with it since the beginning. Obviously I'm going to give the NICU some time... I just wanted a change from my last position. I guess I'm just scared that I'll waste years of my life in nursing when I could be doing something I enjoy...but I'm starting to think I won't like anything. I just feel frustrated and I wish I could say I love what I do. But I don't enjoy being abused by families, administrators, etc. I love taking care of babies but the way nursing is makes me turned off to it. Does anyone else feel similarly? I wish I could take care of the babies without the parents honestly. Maybe it's just adults that make me nervous in general IDK. I just hate feeling inexperienced, confused, and annoyed. Even on good days I sometimes feel lazy to do my job and IDK why. I want to like nursing but I feel like I never will. I don't have that determination that I feel I should have. it's almost like I'm burnt out already without even starting. it's hard for me to care that much but simultaneously I care too much. I know this doesn't make any sense. welcome to my brain.

[pinkdoves, BSN]

On 11/10/2021 at 4:20 PM, ThePrincessBride said:

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but...

NICU is a pretty sweet gig. I'm in both adult med-surg and NICU, and I have to say that NICU is 1000x better than working with adult patients. Sure, you may have some jerks for parents, but most of the parents I have come across are just grateful for the care their child is getting. Plus, I have more patience for frantic parents as having a kid in the NICU can be very stressful than I do with the non-compliant diabetic patients or the pain-seeking patients who are rude, abusive and entitled as hell.

So, I hate to say this, but if you can't handle the parents, then I doubt the rest of acute care nursing is for you as what is bad in NICU is a trillion times worse in any other specialty, especially if you only have to deal with the parents for a couple of cares (and some parents don't even show up at all.) 

You have a few options though: stay and see if NICU grows on you, switch acute care specialties, leave acute care or leave health care in general or do something that doesn't require caring for patients (nursing informatics, insurance companies, etc).  If I were you, I would at least give NICU a solid year--it may grow on you. If, after a year, you don't like it, then I would strongly consider finding something outpatient or pursuing non-patient care fields.

why would you be the bearer of bad news? I'm the one telling you I hate nursing. it's not really a secret. I've hated it since I started. I actually did start in an adult med-surg telemetry floor. I lasted 2 months bc I hated it so much. then I went to a step down/med-surg pediatric floor that I was good at but never liked...so I went to the nicu which is where I am now. this response seems holier than thou to me and unnecessary. like "if you can't do this job you can't do anything because it's so easy!" my plan is to leave acute care because being in the hospital is just too stressful for me. most days I want to lock myself in the closet and never talk to anyone tbh. I hate nursing and never will recommend this garbage field to anyone ever. 

On 11/10/2021 at 4:29 AM, EDNURSE20 said:

Changing jobs is hard. Going from being comfortable, to a new environment with new people with new way of doing things, Is really hard. I think everyone had that oh s*** feeling when start over, especially if it’s a new speciality. But I’m glad your giving it time  

as for nursing, I say stick with it until either you find something else that really interest you or you are so over it that you would rather work somewhere like a retail store. 

it is hard. maybe I need to get over this hump of really not knowing the basics. I was "higher up" in my old unit so it's weird to start from the beginning again. I don't like the feeling, but I switched to the nicu to learn more. I guess that's what I'm doing but it's stressing me out too much to the point I feel I want to isolate myself bc it's so draining

[pinkdoves, BSN]

On 11/10/2021 at 11:44 AM, Davey Do said:

Too often, we look for a job or a relationship to be the be-all and end-all in our lives. If we expect something or somebody else to define us, we will nearly always end up being disappointed.

We will, for example, have children and/or become nurses, in order to fulfill and find some meaning in our lives. Once we depend on those variables, we loose control and can end up feeling powerless over our lives.

The only thing or person we can control in our lives is us. We are the constant in this equation- everything and everybody else are the variables.

Once we get okay with who we are, everything and everybody else can be taken in stride. One paramount truth that I've learned in my life can be summed up in one quote: "My happiness does not depend on what others do or say, or what happens around me. My happiness is the result of being at peace with myself".

The title of this thread asks how I knew when I found my niche, and the answer is simple, but its acceptance and practice can be very difficult

I found my  nursing niche by allowing The Fates to guide me and. blooming where I was planted.

My nursing specialty line notes that I have had about 10 years medical and about 25 years of psychiatric. I wanted to be a medical nurse, but got my foot in the door of hospital nursing by getting hired in psych in 1984. With every attempt to work long term in medical nursing got me back into psych, from hospital to HH to administrative nursing. This was The Fates leading me.

It took me 20 years of working as a nurse to finally accept that psych nursing was my niche, and there I bloomed, working the final 23 years predominately in psych.

Also- and this is an important factor- nursing was not my be-all and end-all. Nursing was my calling, but so was art, and together, I felt well-rounded. I have been a professional caregiver since 1979, a professional artist since 1995, had a successful career, and now feel a sense of integrity and pride in the work that I did.

In reiterating, I owe that success to allowing The Fates to guide me and blooming where I was planted.

Namaste.

davey do-IDK who you are but every time you comment on my posts I feel better. you are like the dad of allnurses. you are amazing

[Davey Do]

10 hours ago, pinkdoves said:

davey do-IDK who you are 

You can read all about me in my autobiography:

 

[ThePrincessBride, MSN, RN, NP]

On 11/13/2021 at 10:38 PM, pinkdoves said:

why would you be the bearer of bad news? I'm the one telling you I hate nursing. it's not really a secret. I've hated it since I started. I actually did start in an adult med-surg telemetry floor. I lasted 2 months bc I hated it so much. then I went to a step down/med-surg pediatric floor that I was good at but never liked...so I went to the nicu which is where I am now. this response seems holier than thou to me and unnecessary. like "if you can't do this job you can't do anything because it's so easy!" my plan is to leave acute care because being in the hospital is just too stressful for me. most days I want to lock myself in the closet and never talk to anyone tbh. I hate nursing and never will recommend this garbage field to anyone ever. 

it is hard. maybe I need to get over this hump of really not knowing the basics. I was "higher up" in my old unit so it's weird to start from the beginning again. I don't like the feeling, but I switched to the nicu to learn more. I guess that's what I'm doing but it's stressing me out too much to the point I feel I want to isolate myself bc it's so draining

LOL @ holier than thou. You don't even know who you are speaking to.

I offered  you some useful advice in that if you can't handle NICU because of stressed out and families then what you mean is you can't handle acute care because that is what most of acute care looks like...but worse.  And that is okay. It just means you need to look outside of acute care to find something that suits you.

[ThePrincessBride, MSN, RN, NP]

On 11/12/2021 at 7:42 AM, CommunityRNBSN said:

I didn’t feel that this was a helpful response. It sort of reminds me of when I was the parent of a newborn and felt overwhelmed and unhappy, and acquaintances would say “Oh just wait until he’s a toddler, it gets worse.” That wasn’t what I needed to hear! (And also wasn’t true from my perspective— which is part of what I’m going to say here too. Everyone’s experience is different.)

There are so many different niches in nursing, and sometimes what we think we want to do isn’t actually what we end up liking.
 

My clinic has a pediatrics department— it involves caring for children but in a much less-intense way. There are also fields like lactation consulting that you could look into, since you like babies. Personally, I like educating adults (for example, newly diagnosed T2DM) and I’ve found a good fit for me; and when patients come in for that education, they are in a fairly open and approachable mood. Keep your job for now but look into outpatient roles as well as non-traditional ones involving wellness. 

You clearly didn't read the post. What is upsetting the OP (rude families and poor administration) is universal IN ACUTE CARE.  It would be one thing if she said she couldn't handle vents or kids...but you can't get away from rude family and poor administration. 

[CommunityRNBSN, BSN, RN]

1 hour ago, ThePrincessBride said:

You clearly didn't read the post. What is upsetting the OP (rude families and poor administration) is universal IN ACUTE CARE.  It would be one thing if she said she couldn't handle vents or kids...but you can't get away from rude family and poor administration. 

That seems a little extreme. Obviously I read the post

[CommunityRNBSN, BSN, RN]

1 hour ago, ThePrincessBride said:

LOL @ holier than thou. You don't even know who you are speaking to.

Yes. True. It’s an anonymous website, so,I mean…

[guest1143647]

Personally,I really do not know why nurses try to stress themselves working in acute care.

OP,if you love NICU,why not try private duty/homecare working with peds and newborns? Most times it is kiddos on trachs,vents,feeding tubes,and the occasional PICC or central line.

Will the pay suck most times? That is a definite YES! I get paid $8 more per hour working on a subacute floor than I did in homecare. 

But the stress is way less in homecare. When I worked private duty,the stress on a scale of 1-10 with 10 being the worst was 2.

[guineapignurse, BSN, RN]

I have tried several different practice settings in my years as a nurse. I started in psych and the only reason I left was I thought I needed med surg experience before I got too far from being a new grad. Well I did 10 months of hell in med surg and now I just started at a detox facility and so far I am enjoying that. I learned that psych/ addictions nursing is where I’m going to stay. I might even go back to school to follow my original dream to be a psychotherapist.

[Beesnflowers, EMT-B]

What about the OR? No family in there!

[TNnursejane, BSN, RN]

There are so many options in nursing. I spent 18 years in a small hospital in a critical care unit. I loved my job then we moved to another state with my husband's job. I have struggled to be happy since. I haven't found my niche yet but I have to say that no matter what I've done, I've always loved nursing. It's not the perfect job but then what is?? Be patient with yourself. Stay where you are and something will come your way. After almost 40 yrs in nursing I've decided to get my masters in nursing in nursing education. Something I've always wanted to do so we'll see what I find once I grow up!!