How do I explain to hubby

mother/babyRN, RN · Feb 13, 2003

Think about this.....In the past, I have become close to patients and families to the point that tears were shed when bad things happened in their lives. While on the cardiac unit some years ago, I wondered how I would ever cope if something such as a code happened to one of my beloved patients. Then, it happened, the first time I had to code someone.....As the monitor whined, I remember something in my mind separated me from the patient, who I truly cared about, and he became just his arm. In that way, I was able to start an iv...Even his name plate on the door was not visable in my minds eye..AFTERWARDS, everything settles in but usually, during something, you just let your training and your mind take over to help you cope...A member is just a member...I have to laugh when I see husbands or significant others worried about things such as this...My husband has actually made the mistake of imagining that I must love my job because I get to deal with and even touch lady partss and breasts all day! Men...:)

A body part is just that, a part...You are caring for the individual and there aint no getting around that we all come with body parts...Well, you know what I mean......

igloorn93 · Feb 13, 2003

If it were me, I'd have him help me study for my next test, and even if it weren't on the proper bed bath technique or how to insert a catheter, that is what I would study. That should fix him. Also, show him the female anatomy of childbirth and catheters etc and see if that gets him 'turned on' or grossed out. Goodluck.

OBNURSEHEATHER · Feb 13, 2003

Originally posted by kimtab
How about bringing a Foley kit home and demonstarting just how sexy it is--on him. That oughta learn 'em.

:chuckle :roll :chuckle

delirium · Feb 13, 2003

Dood, don't tell him how unsexy it is. Tell him how excited you are to have the opportunity to handle the apparatus and use descriptive terms like 'tripod' and 'kickstand' and 'bigger than a baby's arm'.

l.rae · Feb 13, 2003

tell him it's just another face in the crowd.......LR

PowerPuffGirl · Feb 13, 2003

I think he needs to get over it... Obviously, you know your husband best, and what approach will work best.

This was bugging me for a little while, and I finally figured it out. I think this kind of ties into the stereotype of the sexcrazed nurse and how inappropriate it was, years ago, for 'nice girls' to go into nursing.

If my partner or a family member ever voiced a similar opinion, I'd feel like they didn't understand that I am a professional. (I am premenstrual today, perhaps I'm feeling a little too strongly!).

Anyhow, best of luck, dealing with this!

Angella Walker · Feb 13, 2003

Good one Kim!!!!:chuckle :devil: :uhoh3:

katscan · Feb 13, 2003

I'm so glad that my husband is comfortable with his sexuality and knows me well enough that just because I would be in the vicinity of a sick, wrinkled member, I would not jump on it! GEESH....

How immature..Why would some men think we would get turned on catheterizing a patient-I know that my thoughts would run along"wow-I'm glad it isn't me etc.", not "hubba hubba"

BadBird, BSN, RN · Feb 13, 2003

Simply describe the lovely UTI's and the discharges, shrivled member, saggy testicles, just don't turn you on. Tell him it would be like looking at his Grandmothers saggy boobs, YUCK. It is just part of your job.

K O'Malley · Feb 13, 2003

I don't even discuss with my husband things that go on in the hospital except in very vague general terms such as "I had a code blue today" or "I had a heavy assignment today." He is much happier not hearing about the gory details and you might be better off just not discussing these things with hugby if it tends to upset him.

NICU_Nurse, BSN, RN · Feb 13, 2003

When my husband and I first started dating, we had this running joke about how if WE didn't work out, I was going to leave him for another woman. (Don't ask!) It was very playful, until I started working as a nurse tech on a postpartum floor during nursing school. He actually became JEALOUS that I was seeing naked virginias all day long (Umm...that's what HE called them, not me...DON'T ASK!) *lol* and seeing naked breasts, helping moms position for breastfeeding, etc. I couldn't believe what I was hearing, so every day, I would come home from work and tell him in graphic detail about what I did: Honey, first there was the overwhelming stench of stagnant blood...hit you before you even spread her legs. Then I slowly spread her knees, taking my good old time, enjoying the view....of a blood clot that fell on the peri-pad like a rotten apple. Honey, it was THE SIZE OF AN APPLE! A huge apple-sized blood clot! And Jay-SUS did it smell funky! I tenderly slid my hands up her thighs as I doused her crotch with warm water, causing a bloody, gooey mess that got all over my hands (as I'm stroking his hair and face)... You get the idea. Trust me, he stopped that sh*t real quick! ;>P If your husband had seen the penii that I had to work with learning how to insert catheters, he wouldn't feel that way anymore. Trust me, his clean, neatly kept package (I'm assuming, here) blows away the genetically deformed uncircumcised unbathed cheesy smelling clotted discharge raw disgusting penii a friend of mine who works in ER deals with on a daily basis. I agree- be graphic, show him pictures, and if all else fails, I support the suggestion to perform an insertion on him!

J-RN student · Feb 13, 2003

Kristi - I love your posts:rotfl: :rotfl: