How to handle a know-it-all, loud, humiliating coworker

Nurses Relations

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I have come to realise that no matter where I work, there will always be that one nurse who talks too loud, too often,and often attempts to belittle coworkers in front of others. But the one nurse I'm currently working with is taking the cake. At first , I thought it was just towards me, but now know, I am not the only one. The nurse attempts to belittle anyone who is not a superior. Seeing this makes it hard for me to bite my tongue. How do others handle situations like this?

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Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.

Is it possible to pull the coworker aside, talk to him/her & explain the issue you're having with them but in a civil matter? If that doesn't work I would work my way up the chain of command.

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I have not personally attempted this, but have seen another who has. I am worried the nurse will finally upset me and I will go off. I don't know if I could find a good way to do so ,the more I think about it.

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Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
I have not personally attempted this, but have seen another who has. I am worried the nurse will finally upset me and I will go off. I don't know if I could find a good way to do so ,the more I think about it.

I know how you feel because I have a short temper. Maybe if you wrote out what you want to say before hand or had someone else in the room with you, would that help?

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That is a good idea. Also, I'm a big believer in having a witness. Thanks for the advice.

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Specializes in Critical Care, Med-Surg, Psych, Geri, LTC, Tele,.
That is a good idea. Also, I'm a big believer in having a witness. Thanks for the advice.

Yes! If you confront her, do so with a witness or else you could be accused of bullying!

If you are somewhat new still, there's the possibility that the nurse is just "feeling you out", testing you. While I don't advocate this behavior, I've been on the receiving end of it and found it was best handled by showing "grace under fire."

I just made nice, and tried to exude competence, as well as humbleness.

The behavior stopped eventually. I later witnessed the nurses doing it to other new hires.

At one point, I did go to my supervisor, but I made sure I displayed sadness and hurt, rather than anger. (But I was angry) my boss assured me I did the right thing and told me those nurses were known for behaving like that.

I got through it and we eventually all worked well together.

Good luck to you!

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Specializes in RN, BSN, CHDN.

Moved to Nursing Relationships

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Specializes in Education.

And sometimes there is no civility to be had. Just passive aggressiveness, one-upmanship, and a clear disrespect. Especially towards the idea of having a hierarchy and those who are senior.

Why no, I haven't been on the receiving end of all that before...tried talking. With a neutral witness. Didn't go well, she didn't appreciate the opportunity to do something constructive.

In that case, all you can do is grin and bear it. Be (to be clichéd) the bigger person and give them the respect they are due as a professional and a coworker.

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Specializes in MICU, SICU, CICU.

When working with a person like this, who has issues that run deep, you will need strong boundaries. Be cordial and professional and don't listen to or participate in her bashing sessions. This is not a person that I would trust or want to be friendly with anyway. Set a good example of professional conduct.

Is this person your immediate supervisor ? If so, I would start looking for other employment.

Stay out of the drama. If she starts critiquing you publicly, you will need to ask her to come

back to the break room, close the door and feel free to say that "your behavior is unacceptable

and if you ever do that to me again we will be discussing this in the manager's office."

You will meet these ego inflated types everywhere and if you really get to know them well over time, you will realize that they are not as skilled as they claim to be.

One day, this person who is belittling others will get her comeuppance.

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Specializes in Med-Surg.

Well just to play devils advocate...

Are you sure the other nurse is being intentionally belittling? Do you have specific examples? Is she pointing out valid faults/mistakes or is she really searching to find things to pick on and grill you/others over?

Honestly, I do work with a few nurses who will rip anyone else up for making a mistake, in addition to telling everyone else and gossiping about it. There are always people who feel better about themselves after putting down others, especially in front of an audience.

I don't feed their need to feel superior. I smile, thank them for their observations, and move on. I never trust them and don't engage when they want to put down other coworkers around me.

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Ask this nurse, just as they are being rude or belittling you, why they are doing it. Ask them if it makes them feel good to say those belittling words to you and see how they respond. Point out to them how ugly they are responding to you.

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Specializes in Emergency Nursing.

I had a similar experience. My charge nurse would continuously try to make me feel inferior and frustrate me to tears through the first 6-8 months of my nursing career. I was already stressed out and nervous. I was a new grad, in a busy ER, with a short 6 week orientation. He continued to belittle me and make sarcastic comments. I was at my breaking point. I almost took my badge off and flung it at his head and told him I quit. But I didn't.

About 6-8 months through my first year of nursing I gave it right back to him. He's acted like I was his buddy ever since. He was testing me to see how far he could push me. I pushed back when I hit my wall and ever since he's left me alone.

Sometimes you just have to stand up for yourself and push back.

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