How to handle a know-it-all, loud, humiliating coworker

[NursePelican]

I have come to realise that no matter where I work, there will always be that one nurse who talks too loud, too often,and often attempts to belittle coworkers in front of others. But the one nurse I'm currently working with is taking the cake. At first , I thought it was just towards me, but now know, I am not the only one. The nurse attempts to belittle anyone who is not a superior. Seeing this makes it hard for me to bite my tongue. How do others handle situations like this?

[donsterRN, ASN, BSN]

If the crap starts to affect me personally, I never bite my tongue.

[bloatedputti, MSN, RN]

Bullies are a chronic issue in nursing. It's even worse when management allows it. In fact, Some managers are bullies. in this case, there is nowhere to turn. HR? Nope. They're not gonna go up against a manager. This is called a toxic workplace. Best thing to do is leave if it affects one's life. Some managers handle it, but in my experience most don't shut it down. They don't want to lose staff or they're incapable of dealing with the issue.Working with mainly women can be tricky.

[chacha82, ADN, BSN]

The best thing you can do in this situation is be completely not involved in the situation. Let all your interactions with him/her be completely positive. Say hello and have a good weekend. Outside of this, you don't have to change someone's personality. If they're that boorish, they won't last long in any job setting. But if you're not in management, why make it your problem? Just go about your business. There is a CNA I work with who I know just finished 12th grade but she loves to tell me how to do everything (I'm a RN and a good 10 years older than her). Her bossiness comes from insecurity. I just say, "OK" to no matter what she says and then thank her for her help. Do not let them find fault in anything you do, and do not look to "catch" them doing something. When we start doing that then we look for any excuse to get them in trouble. If you truly see them doing something unsafe, tell the charge nurse or your unit manager and just move on. Also consider that this person is acting out and be a friend to them. Do not "gang up" on them in conversations with others. Point out something nice they did that you can appreciate. Or take the time to include them and maybe the annoying behavior will stop. Maybe not, in which case don't waste your time and energy. I used to work with someone who was super annoying. If I saw her coming I smiled and said hello and then found a reason to go check on someone else or chart something. The more you make it your problem, the more this person will suck you in and then find fault in things that you are doing. Ain't nobody got time for that!

[jadelpn, LPN, EMT-B]

This is such a nasty situation. The only thing you can do is to say

"Why thank you for bringing that to my attention! I shall take it under advisement!" And walk away.

"I can see this is upsetting to you! Why bless your heart, and let's see if we can all come to a better goal for this patient!" And walk away.

"I don't want to interrupt what is seemingly a huge issue for you, but I need to go medicate my patient. Would make an AWESOME inservice though!! You should think about it!!" And walk away.

"Well, we can only go forward from here. I shall be more mindful!" And walk away.

Do not engage. I repeat, DO NOT engage!

DO not bring this person into an empty space to have conversation. That rarely gets one anywhere. People like this are not worth arguing with, as they are right, you are wrong, and not a thing you say will make a bit of difference.

But in the entire scheme of things, who cares, and don't let her rent space in your head.

To get management involved rarely does anything, as they are so far removed from the day to day of the unit, they are highly unlikely to confront this situation.

But that is why they are paid the big bucks, so eventually the karma fairy is going to get the wrong person angry.

To get HR involved....well, HR is not your friend.

Nuff said.

To get your union involved...well, depends on specifics as far as contract language. And some language talks about "mutual respect".

So you can discuss with a delegate.

You do not need to be friends with this person, and thankfully, you don't have to see/hang out with or anything else outside of work. You know what kind of a nurse you are. Your patients know what kind of a nurse you are.

Don't get caught up in the fray. So not worth it. So kiss it up to the powers that be, and rock on.

[joseyjo]

This is a. AWESOME answer! Saving so I can remind myself later :-)

[nurseactivist]

(As a union shop steward for years), I would say do not run to a manager. Too often, I have had managers go after the totally justified complaining nurse and not the true problem child.

If at all possible, try to deal with it one on one. Having a supportive co-worker during these difficult conversations is not a bad idea. Often waiting until things cool down is helpful.

I have gone into work places were there are ongoing issues, usually with one repeating toxic nurse. I have had toxic nurse seek counseling, use EAP for assistance. I have made sure they have had due process during their ongoing disciplinary hearings. It is an awkward position to be in. I will take the offending nurse aside and explain, I am not defending your bad behavior, I am only making sure the proper disciplinary process is being followed. Also, known as "how the cow ate the cabbage conversation."

I almost always saw these issues come up during the probationary period and management did nothing. Too often management looked the other way for years. It is a nightmare, for the entire workplace.

[WKShadowNP, DNP, APRN]

Toxic nurses are so hard to "fix," and there is so much that has to be done to eliminate the problem, i.e. dismiss or terminate the person. But the unit is always better off and feels so much lighter when it can be done.