How Do You Manage Kids/household/school?

stpauligirl · Oct 4, 2006

Hey Everyone!
Does Anybody Plan On Working Full Time While Earning Their Nursing Degree?
Do You Have Kid/help At Home? How Are You Planning On Managing It All? I Need Some Help!

Working is not recommended at our CC nursing school.

I am SHM but I am basically a single parent during the week because my husband is only with us on weekends if we are lucky. We have no family near by so it's just me and my son during the week. Time management is essential. But you know with kids there is always that unanticipated emergency when you least need it or expect it.:wink2:

hikernurse · Oct 4, 2006

First you're gonna have to set your standards a whole lot lower :rolleyes: .

Your priority needs are going to change every day--sometimes family, sometimes work, sometimes school and so being flexible is really important. Do what you have to do and at the end of the day as long as everyone's safe and nobody's hungry, you're good.

I'm guessing you want some concrete suggestions, though and I'm happy to share what works in my large family with two working parents.

Buy lots of basics for your kids; I really stocked up on underclothes and blue jeans and lots of cheap shirts/sweatshirts. A lot of things can be worn by both boys and girls (well, maybe not the underwear) and that helps.

Paper plates, Costco dinners (you know the big packs of frozen stuff you just have to throw in the oven), a willingness to let visitors in even though they have to shove laundry (hopefully clean) off the couch in order to sit down.

Plan ahead enough so that you're not having to stop at the gas station at 0515 in the morning on your way to clinical in the middle of a freezing night, but otherwise don't sweat the day to day stuff. Nursing school is notorious for changing their (and therefore your) schedule on very short notice.

I take my schoolbooks/notecards/study guides with me everywhere. I get a lot of studying done waiting at the grocery store, preschool, etc.

Most importantly, take time for yourself. It's more than worth the time it takes. Read, run, hike :wink2: , but do something that has NOTHING to do with school. School only lasts a few years, but your sanity has to see you through to the end.

Good luck. You can do it!

DaughterofRuth · Oct 4, 2006

I'm not in clinicals yet, but I am doing pre-reqs while working fulltime with a 4hr daily commute, have DH who also works fulltime, DD10 who still wants and needs mommy time, and a household to maintain. This semester I'm taking Micro and Psych and the workload is far more than I've had in previous semesters. My cleaning standards are MUCH lower than they've ever been before! (I'm cringing thinking of what the big bathroom looks like right now). Luckily DH does the laundry and makes sure DD's homework/evening routine gets done, but someone still has to make sure there's food in the house and the bills get paid, etc. Those responsibilities don't disappear just because I'm going to school.

The suggestions of using paper plates and frozen convenience foods are good ones, if you can afford to do it. We're on a tight budget so these aren't options we can use. I do a lot of cooking for the freezer - sloppy joes, tetrazzini, dump chicken, cooked diced chicken for throw together casseroles, etc. These make it very easy for DH to throw together a meal on nights I have class. Or for me when I get home brain dead and starving.

For everything else, I just try to do what I can when I can. On nights I don't have class, I make a point of running a load of dishes so they don't get too piled up. If I'm in the bathroom and notice the grime, take a moment and wipe it up. I make myself take that extra 5 minutes to go ahead and do something I could just as easily put off because that's how you stay ahead of it all.

Good luck to you! You can do this :)

catzy5 · Oct 4, 2006

Working is not recommended at our CC nursing school.
I am SHM but I am basically a single parent during the week because my husband is only with us on weekends if we are lucky. We have no family near by so it's just me and my son during the week. Time management is essential. But you know with kids there is always that unanticipated emergency when you least need it or expect it.:wink2:

I had to keep looking over at the writer of this because I thought I wrote it hehee.

I am also a stay at home mom, I have 3 kids 7,7 and 9. My husband travels during the week, but is home on the weekend. Also he supports me 100% infact I think he is more excited about me being a nurse or atleast having that pay check hehehe. I take classes tue/thurs fri/sat fri/sat are my really busy days I am gone from 8am till 4pm my class gets out at 2 but I stay until 4. During the week however I study when my kids are in school I make a schedule every week of the important things I need to conquor school wise, I am taking Chem and ap 101. Both very hard classes for me and lots of time consuming work. I also incorporate my kids into study time, after we have done their homework and if we are just sitting after dinner or relaxing I ALWAYS have some sort of school work near by usually flash cards I have my kids quiz me, it helps them with their reading skills not to mention my 7 yr olds are probably the only kids who can answer every questions about Epithelium there is. I would say right now the people that suffer the most are my friends I have kept a couple really close friends and make and effort to keep up with them, but many more I know are so annoyed with me that I do not call or talk or make time for them, but I just can't all free time I have is devoted to the books I have a goal and I intend to keep it.

sddlnscp · Oct 4, 2006

I work full time, have two little kids, and go to evening/weekend classes. Two days a week I have to leave my house at 6:00 a.m. and get home at 11:30 p.m. due to school. Every other weekend is like regular work days for me because I am in clinicals. It is very hard, but it is do-able. My kids are one and four. I am married and my hubby works full-time too. On my days that I don't have school, I pick up the kids from the sitter's after work and we have a MINIMUM of one hour that is just ours - go to the park, play in the yard, whatever. Then my hubby takes over so I can get my reading/assignments done. I try to take over again in the evening so he can get some rest. On my days of school, the sitter keeps them late so my hubby can get his stuff done that he needs to and then he picks them up and they eat something easy like spaghetti, goulash, etc.

It is very hard, but it is not impossible. I am not fortunate enough to be able to not work through school, so it's not really a choice for me, we have to pay our bills and feed our kids. However, just know that if you really want it, you will find a way. Just be sure that somewhere you make some time for your family. You'll be surprised what you can do.

Oh - I hardly ever clean and my house is a disaster, but it's ok because I know it will be worth it when it's all said and done. I do the minimal amount to keep things running in the household and I have had to let go of any wanting of a nice, neat house because it's just not possible right now.

Best of luck, you can do it!

Halinja, BSN, RN · Oct 4, 2006

Kids are do-able, housework....yeah, lower your standards and its fine. Working? Yikes. Working was okay during pre-req's, but when the actual nursing program started, I lasted about two weeks, then went in and quit my job, even though it was only part time.

Our school recommends that you don't work, and I know that very few of our 50+ class work. The ones that do work are generally part time. As one poster above mentioned, the school often switches schedules, which screws up planned work times.

If there is ANY way you can avoid working, or can scale back to part time, I would recommend it.

Jules A, MSN · Oct 4, 2006

It is very hard, but it is not impossible. I am not fortunate enough to be able to not work through school, so it's not really a choice for me, we have to pay our bills and feed our kids. However, just know that if you really want it, you will find a way. Just be sure that somewhere you make some time for your family. You'll be surprised what you can do./quote]
Good for you sddlnscp, yes it can be done. Its all about time management and being willing to make sacrifices.
I think it is unrealistic for schools to recommend not working. Most of us are adults and not fresh out of high school living with parents on in a dorm doing the college co-ed thing. Since its coming from "the program" I think that people give more weight to it and when I read about people that can't afford to quit work, quitting, I just don't get it. It is ridiculous to put yourself in a financial bind for anything even school, imo. For some people, not working is NOT an option, I don't care what the director of Acme Nursing School says, let them give up a year of their salary! Screwing up your money situation, imo, is far more stressful than figuring out a way to work and go to school.
Anyone figure out just how much it would cost them not to work for the duration of their nursing program? Sorry but nursing doesn't pay that well for me to be able to make up an entire year or two of lost wages. I made fairly decent money in my previous career and could have lived off savings but there was no way I was going to skip an entire year of income. As it was just cutting back a bit on my work hours stressed me out. You just do what needs to be done, do it and things work out fine.

sddlnscp · Oct 4, 2006

Thank you Jules. I agree with you that I think it is rediculous for nursing schools to "highly recommend" not working. It would be nice to not have to work, but that is not reality for most people. Determination is a biggie and I think that anybody that has it will make it. It is always hard to find balance when one starts something, but it does come with time and with trial and error. I have been told by many of my co-students they don't know how I do it (work, school, little kids, etc.), but the truth is I discipline myself, I sacrifice a lot, and I work really hard, that's it, no magic potion or special powers, it is possible! Oh, and I still make time for my kiddos and my hubby because, ultimately, they are my #1 priority and nothing can come before them! If one truly needs to work, then they should continue to work, it is not impossible, it is just hard.

goingformydream · Oct 4, 2006

my issue is that I am homeschooling my special needs child.. it is doable right now.. (I do have some help) but come next year, I need to figure out another plan...private schools are too expensive and I am not happy with the public school special needs program. I am looking into getting another tutor...

as far as housework.. everyone has to pitch in more.. I made easy dinners and my husband helps me on busy nights. I say no to lots of activites.. and try (hard some days) and put the books away from the afternoon/dinner time on.. it is a juggling act. I took the family to dinner last night.. they have been just wonderful letting me get my school work done...

they also know that when mommy graduates, we are all going to Disneyworld...

charmedpn · Oct 4, 2006

When I was in school I juggled work, boyfriend at the time and 3 kids. It was hard when it came time for the nursing program I did quit my job. The clinical hours were crazy so I had no choice. However, I did get remarried and he was wonderful in helping with the girls, and cooking. My biggest problem was daycare and kids homework. 2 of my girls are mentally challaged not severe but mild so homework at daycare was a big issue, but no other choice but to send them to public school. But it was doable once I had everything planned out. Keep chin up it will work out.

stpauligirl · Oct 4, 2006

I had to keep looking over at the writer of this because I thought I wrote it hehee.
I am also a stay at home mom, I have 3 kids 7,7 and 9. My husband travels during the week, but is home on the weekend. Also he supports me 100% infact I think he is more excited about me being a nurse or atleast having that pay check hehehe. I take classes tue/thurs fri/sat fri/sat are my really busy days I am gone from 8am till 4pm my class gets out at 2 but I stay until 4. During the week however I study when my kids are in school I make a schedule every week of the important things I need to conquor school wise, I am taking Chem and ap 101. Both very hard classes for me and lots of time consuming work. I also incorporate my kids into study time, after we have done their homework and if we are just sitting after dinner or relaxing I ALWAYS have some sort of school work near by usually flash cards I have my kids quiz me, it helps them with their reading skills not to mention my 7 yr olds are probably the only kids who can answer every questions about Epithelium there is. I would say right now the people that suffer the most are my friends I have kept a couple really close friends and make and effort to keep up with them, but many more I know are so annoyed with me that I do not call or talk or make time for them, but I just can't all free time I have is devoted to the books I have a goal and I intend to keep it.

You deserve a medal with three kids :wink2:

My husband is also very supportive and helps out as much as he can when he is home.