Published Jul 18, 2011
rrz0609
7 Posts
Hi everyone!
I'm going to be entering my 3rd semester of my ADN program in August, and one of my friends invited me to her wedding the first weekend of September. The problem is, her wedding is in a different state! Her wedding is over Labor Day weekend, but it is 10 hours away from where I live! When I told her I didn't know if I would be able to make it, she kept insisting that it was a long weekend and I didn't have school that Monday. She really doesn't understand how much work we do in the nursing program, and my weekends generally consist of HOMEWORK! I would love to go, if it was more local, but given that my clinical won't let up until about 2 pm Friday afternoon, I would have to drive straight there from where I live, get there in the middle of the night, go to the wedding and leave the next day to drive 10 hours back! We all know how expensive nursing school is, so flying is definitely not an option right now. I need some help trying to let her down, because she just doesn't understand why I can't go since it's a long weekend. I really feel like a bad friend right now , but I have nursing school, work, and a 3 year old that really need my attention and driving 20 hours over one weekend to a wedding just isn't justifiable right now. Please help!
kr924
5 Posts
Just tell her that you are very sorry you just can't make it. Let her know you love her and would love to be there. Send her a giftcard or something for her wedding gift. She may be upset for a little bit, but if she is a good friend she will understand. Explain to her everything you just told us. Good luck!!
stefanyjoy
252 Posts
"Regretfully, I will not be able to attend. I hope I can celebrate with you another time and wish you a beautiful day. Best of luck" the end. If she really is a friend she will understand that not all people who live out of the state can attend. If she throws a fit about it, she needs to get over herself.
NeedchangeofPace
210 Posts
My grandaughter is getting married in March, on a Friday in the Bahamas, I will have class/clinical the day before. There is no way I can go.
This is what I told her, "Sorry I won't be there" it is that simple.
parrothead36
52 Posts
you simply state, "sorry , i cannot make it." :crying2:if she is a true friend then she will understand. just as she is celebrating a mile marker in her life, you are trying to complete one in yours. if she doesn't understand then mybe she wasn't a true friend at all. i have learned that while in nursing school, you have to develop a little selfishness, self disclipline, and autonomy. it's up to you, to know when to say when. we are finishing up our 3rd semester now, so only one more to go, and then we can get back to socializing & being unselfish. :)
cogath
172 Posts
I have another take on this topic although I also agree with the above posters. On weekend one of my best friends was leaving to go out of the country for one year. My friends invited me to go visit her before she left (she lives out of town, although not 10 hours away). I was distraught because I had a test in fundamentals that very same weekend (online test). At the last minute I decided to go. I did not regret that decision one bit. My friend was important to me and she appreciated it. So consider your options carefully when it comes to the people you love and cherish, school isn't everything, and how much would it really hurt to go for a short while. Will you remember the wedding more or will you remember sitting studying that chapter for acute care =/
That Guy, BSN, RN, EMT-B
3,421 Posts
Check the not attending, send them a nice gift with a sincere note and call it a day.
rn/writer, RN
9 Articles; 4,168 Posts
Would it be an option to take a bus (much less expensive than flying) and study on the trip?"
If not, tell her your spirit will be with her, but your brain has to stay with your books.
If you aren't able to go, maybe you can arrange for a time during your winter break to go see her, bring a delicious cake, watch the wedding videos, look at the album, and have a mini-reception with her when you can both really enjoy the time together. She's going to be so busy with all the guests that she won't have but a few minutes for you alone at the wedding. This could be a welcome reenactment for her four months after the fact.
DolceVita, ADN, BSN, RN
1,565 Posts
I had this all through school. No means no but people didn't get it.
Make a cute little video speech, burn it onto cd and send it with someone else who is going. Make it a surprise. She'll love it and in some little way...you will be there.
futurepractitioner1
62 Posts
I don't think it's a bad idea to tell her the exact truth... I'm in a traditional track program, but my best friend is in an ADN and I barely get to see her anymore, which I understood would be the case when she began. You should let your friend know how you feel and also that this lack of availability is all temporary. The lack of money to fly part is also huge, but probably secondary to the time-factor. It's not only up to us nursing students to try and make time when it's reasonable or necessary to do so, but having the understanding of our loved ones is just as important, at least I feel.
My opinion...hope this helps at least reaffirm things a bit. I'm sure that you are an amazing friend...or why would you be so consumed with this situation.
IUstudent
67 Posts
go to the wedding.... enjoy your life still even though you are in nursing school...your friend will probably really appreciate it
esunada
166 Posts
How close of friends are you with her? If she is a close friend, then maybe you should go so long as it isn't the day of clinicals or you miss class or anything. If it's just a friend you see here and there then I would just apologize that you can't make it.
Just think though, you'll be busy the rest of your life - someday you'll buy a house if you don't own one already, maybe have more kids, get married yourself if not already, start a new job, other events in your life will come up. Balance your life, you can do nursing school and still enjoy life. This is just me, but I'd rather get a B on a test than spend every hour of my life studying nursing...life is too short, but I digress. A close friend is to me worth my time and worth that painful drive and almost every bride I know thinks her wedding is the biggest day of her life, haha.