How to decline a wedding invitation because I'm too busy with school!

[rrz0609]

Hi everyone!

I'm going to be entering my 3rd semester of my ADN program in August, and one of my friends invited me to her wedding the first weekend of September. The problem is, her wedding is in a different state! Her wedding is over Labor Day weekend, but it is 10 hours away from where I live! When I told her I didn't know if I would be able to make it, she kept insisting that it was a long weekend and I didn't have school that Monday. She really doesn't understand how much work we do in the nursing program, and my weekends generally consist of HOMEWORK! I would love to go, if it was more local, but given that my clinical won't let up until about 2 pm Friday afternoon, I would have to drive straight there from where I live, get there in the middle of the night, go to the wedding and leave the next day to drive 10 hours back! We all know how expensive nursing school is, so flying is definitely not an option right now. I need some help trying to let her down, because she just doesn't understand why I can't go since it's a long weekend. I really feel like a bad friend right now , but I have nursing school, work, and a 3 year old that really need my attention and driving 20 hours over one weekend to a wedding just isn't justifiable right now. Please help!

[PghRN30]

If you already know you can not go, just tell her you can not make it. Do not elaborate more then that. Once you start saying more then "No" to someone, and giving them your reasons, they will try to help you work around your reasons to suit their priorities. Then they will have a "well you could have done this and been able to". "Busy with school" all of us in nursing school know is far different then other schools, so most that have not dealt with it only know from their experience, and "busy with school" for many allowed for partying almost every weekend and still graduating with a B.A., and you are "only" in and associates program so it should be even easier right:uhoh3:......for someone trying to presuade you to do something and doesnt understand nursing school, "busy with school" is not the reason to give them.

Just say that you wish you could, but you can't. Maybe say that your current circumstances will not allow for you to make that trip and leave it at that. That covers everything, work, your child, school, money, your mental status . If she trys to dig into it, it is likely to help you "fix" things so you can come. Don't giver her specifics, just let her know there are too many factors involved for you to make it work, or you would have. That is completely honest, covers everything, and doesn't give her information to try to "fix" things for you..