How to deal with energy parasites?

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What are some strategies that you currently employ in your daily life (or strategies that have worked for you in the past) to help you decompress from dealing with energy parasites and/or (although, probably mutually exclusive) exceptionally high-needs personalities… This comes after setting up firm boundaries have not worked, and your personal ethics/boundaries are constantly being pushed against and not respected. What are some coping strategies when you're unable to reason with, and unable avoid these energy parasite personalities in your day-to-day?

Thanks in advance ;)

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If I'm in a thoughtful frame of mind, I first try to find out the underlying cause of the neediness and then address that if possible.

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Well, that depends....are we talking coworkers or patients? Coworkers, I really try to limit my contact and social interaction with them as much as humanly possible. E.g., one-word answers, nose buried in book/charting, even going so far as to get up in the middle of an attempted rude/inflammatory conversation and walking away (to the bathroom) and closing the door. I "find" things to do the entire shift to stay the heck away from them, and if I can, schedule myself to not work with them.

If it's a patient, I ask other nurses to give me a break every few hours by answering the constantly ringing call bell or by taking vitals just once, etc.. If it's a patient I keep getting assigned to for multiple shifts in a row, I flat out ask for a change in assignment.

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A patient's excessive neediness I can deal with because I know and take comfort in the fact the therapeutic-relationship will (thank the heavens) end at some point. For excessively "needy" patients I will usually excuse myself or on the rare occasion I feel like I'm boiling over I will ask a colleague to answer the ever-ringing call-bell. LOL.

Sorry, I should have been more clear. What I meant was more how to deal with energy parasites in personal and professional scenarios (ex. friends, families, colleagues). Self-care strategies? Deflection techniques? Decompression techniques when you feel drained, upset, and angry? I feel like my boundaries are a series of brick walls that I am holding up, and I am constantly being bombarded to the point where the most common communications I have are of me just saying No repeatedly. It's becoming annoying.... is this just adult life? It's making me irritable and wishing I could afford to be a hermit.

Thanks again.

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Ah. Okay. Well, I feel this is best addressed by the pros: https://www.bustle.com/articles/48246-how-to-save-yourself-from-emotional-vampires-because-theyre-ruining-your-life

How to Deal with Emotional Vampires During the Holidays | Psychology Today

How to Deal With People Who Drain You | Psychology Today

My personal way of dealing with those types of people is to limit contact. I don't answer the phone when they call, I don't click on texts when they text, I keep my FB messaging off so they can't message. Yep, a little extreme but necessary.

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Specializes in ICU, LTACH, Internal Medicine.
A patient's excessive neediness I can deal with because I know and take comfort in the fact the therapeutic-relationship will (thank the heavens) end at some point. For excessively "needy" patients I will usually excuse myself or on the rare occasion I feel like I'm boiling over I will ask a colleague to answer the ever-ringing call-bell. LOL.

Sorry, I should have been more clear. What I meant was more how to deal with energy parasites in personal and professional scenarios (ex. friends, families, colleagues). Self-care strategies? Deflection techniques? Decompression techniques when you feel drained, upset, and angry? I feel like my boundaries are a series of brick walls that I am holding up, and I am constantly being bombarded to the point where the most common communications I have are of me just saying No repeatedly. It's becoming annoying.... is this just adult life? It's making me irritable and wishing I could afford to be a hermit.

Thanks again.

Yep, it is just adult life.

Borders are working when they are set up and uphold, and nobody is supposed to do that for you. Reg. needy patients/families, there was recent discussion about how to make able-bodied patients to do what they can, and I found out since that "THEY won't let me" argument works like magic (THANK YOU AGAIN, Merywhen!) reg. silly stuff like sharpening their colored pencils and bringing tankloads of soda for everyone visiting.

I found that not participating in chatting about your personal/family stuff with anyone beyond your home really helps to keep some people at bay, as they perceive such behavior as "distant" and "unfriendly" and so feel less inclined to be intrusive favor-seekers. One-words answers and making impression of being comtrollably, but steadily busy help a bit, too. And if, for some reason, you have to be alone from time to time, just say so and do it. And, yeah, get off your phone and block the numbers you do not want to answer. Work with your email settings to install authomatic filters. And get off those social media.

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Yep, it is just adult life.

Borders are working when they are set up and uphold, and nobody is supposed to do that for you.

I don't expect anyone to do this for me, but I guess I just needed to whine about it... because it's annoying having to repeatedly remind Adults to be rational and respectful. Sometimes Humans are the worst. LOL.

I ...found out since that "THEY won't let me" argument works like magic (THANK YOU AGAIN, Merywhen!) reg. silly stuff like sharpening their colored pencils and bringing tankloads of soda for everyone visiting.
THIS IS GOLD! Thank you :)

I found that not participating in chatting about your personal/family stuff with anyone beyond your home really helps to keep some people at bay, as they perceive such behavior as "distant" and "unfriendly" and so feel less inclined to be intrusive favor-seekers. One-words answers and making impression of being comfortably, but steadily busy...

I've been employing this method too, and was branded a COB. I guess it's a fine balance of trying to appear friendly while keeping people out-of-your business and respectful of boundaries. Being polite and saying good morning apparently makes you rude. OH well ;)

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Man, don't worry about being branded a COB. Shoot. I don't go to work for a social life, and the same goes for my family, with the exception of my sister. I have friends that I have chosen outside of work, outside of my family, so that no one at work or within my family can hold me hostage emotionally. Yes, I grew up in a family with a lot of issues. Haha.

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Specializes in geriatrics.

I keep it simple in my personal life: I don't deal with energy parasites, and that includes family. Life is short and people like this are not worthy of my time.

It's enough to deal with these types at work. I draw the line elsewhere.

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Specializes in critical care, ER,ICU, CVSURG, CCU.
Man, don't worry about being branded a COB. Shoot. I don't go to work for a social life, and the same goes for my family, with the exception of my sister. I have friends that I have chosen outside of work, outside of my family, so that no one at work or within my family can hold me hostage emotionally. Yes, I grew up in a family with a lot of issues. Haha.

I consider being being a COB , a compliment

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I keep it simple in my personal life: I don't deal with energy parasites, and that includes family. Life is short and people like this are not worthy of my time.

It's enough to deal with these types at work. I draw the line elsewhere.

When a relationship is not mutually beneficial, I have no problem walking away from it. That includes family for me, as well.

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Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
A patient's excessive neediness I can deal with because I know and take comfort in the fact the therapeutic-relationship will (thank the heavens) end at some point. For excessively "needy" patients I will usually excuse myself or on the rare occasion I feel like I'm boiling over I will ask a colleague to answer the ever-ringing call-bell. LOL.

Sorry, I should have been more clear. What I meant was more how to deal with energy parasites in personal and professional scenarios (ex. friends, families, colleagues). Self-care strategies? Deflection techniques? Decompression techniques when you feel drained, upset, and angry? I feel like my boundaries are a series of brick walls that I am holding up, and I am constantly being bombarded to the point where the most common communications I have are of me just saying No repeatedly. It's becoming annoying.... is this just adult life? It's making me irritable and wishing I could afford to be a hermit.

Thanks again.

If the energy parasite is a friend or family member, I limit contact.

As far as colleagues -- workplace relationships can be challenging, but are necessary. It's part of adult life. When you start feeling really upset about your workplace relationships, try "hiding" in a patient room.

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