Home Health: Dirty looks and eye rolls

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So this is my first post, and right off the batt I want to say that I'm not a nurse. I'm a personal care assistant and skills trainer to a 19 year old pt who has severe developmental disabilities (dx PDD NOS).

The other day she was in her bedroom hacking and coughing. Mom went up to check on her as I was helping little sis (15 y/o with severe ASD) make something for dessert. Mom comes down and says nothing is wrong. About 10 minutes later the pt was still coughing a lot and it was about time for me to leave. I was getting a bit worried about the fact she was hacking still (this was random dry hacking, not related to apparent cold or chronic condition)... I wanted to make sure she wasnt turning blue on us or something (even if 10 minutes ago she was fine).

So i go up and check, pt is fine but now wants to come downstairs and run a muck. Its time for me to leave as it's the end of the respite session and bedtime for the girls....

But the looks I got from Mom could kill... I just was upset because I was checking to make sure the daughter was okay before I left... in part to cover my ass. She seemed pissed that I confused the pt...making the pt seem like it wasn't actually time for bed. It was an honest mistake and I just wanted to know that she was okay.

But I just felt crapped on because I had accidently caused her to come downstairs where she would need supervision... and I also happened to be leaving.

Does this happen to anyone else? Do you guys get the ugly eye for doing the right thing? I get that the point of the respite care is to get pt fed,bathed,and off to bed... but I didn't want to just let her hack, leave, and wonder if she had choked all night (people with developmental disabilities can just swallow things and die, its one of their leading causes of death)...

the point is the mom seemed more concerned with the fact that i messed up her routine than the fact that the kid was coughing like crazy...

you know?

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Specializes in Med/Surg, Oncology.

I think in healthcare generally, people who are not trained and do not understand the protocols and procedures might think they know better or will make assumptions about what you're doing. Just remember that you're just trying to do your job and do the right thing.

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In life there is always times we wish we did things differently in hind sight. We are never going to be perfect at our job.

Maybe remember that no matter what parents are always in charge, and it may seem silly but ask the mom next time when you want to do something out of the ordinary. Also I know you were at the end of your shift but maybe it might have helped if you said you were sorry and stayed a few extra minutes and put your client back to bed to help mom out

I work in home care as well and there are many times I may stay a few extra minutes to make sure I have done everything I needed for my client and the family if there is one.

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How were you crapped on?

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@libby, i felt like I was given attitude for checking on something that could have been a serious issue. Yes it resulted in pt getting out of bed, but wouldn't you rather be safe than sorry? I feel under appreaciated...and other people on my staff feel the same way with this pt's mother

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Specializes in OB.

How do you think it might have made the mother feel that you saw it necessary to recheck after she had already assessed that her daughter was okay?

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Specializes in Psychiatry, Community, Nurse Manager, hospice.

You got her daughter out of bed and then left her to deal with the aftermath. That's why mom rolled her eyes.

You need to do this differently next time. Either trust moms judgment, or put the patient back to bed if you really must check yourself.

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Specializes in Nurse Leader specializing in Labor & Delivery.
So i go up and check, pt is fine but now wants to come downstairs and run a muck. Its time for me to leave as it's the end of the respite session and bedtime for the girls....

But the looks I got from Mom could kill... I just was upset because I was checking to make sure the daughter was okay before I left... in part to cover my ass. She seemed pissed that I confused the pt...making the pt seem like it wasn't actually time for bed. It was an honest mistake and I just wanted to know that she was okay.

Yes, it was an honest mistake. I'm sure you meant well. But as others have already said, a) you checked on her AFTER her mother already did so and determined she was fine, thus giving the implication that you don't trust her mother, who is the expert on her child, and b) you completely disrupted the routine, got the child all riled up and confused, and then left without staying to get her resettled. If I were that mother, I too would be pretty pissed off.

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I don't consider an eyeroll as crapped on.

Honestly I think if anyone was crapped on it was the mom. You demonstrated criticism of her judgement and then didn't stay to undo the repercussions, you left her to deal with the fallout of your actions.

And a dry hacking cough does not indicate choking. Your rationale for the disruption is empty.

If you felt compelled and obligated to follow up on the cough thinking you might be abandoning a potential crisis you could have asked mom specific questions re her breathing and perfusion then suggested checking on her. If she refused to have you see the patient, and the patient is still coughing (which would mean not obstructed) then document and go home.

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Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.
@libby, i felt like I was given attitude for checking on something that could have been a serious issue. Yes it resulted in pt getting out of bed, but wouldn't you rather be safe than sorry? I feel under appreaciated...and other people on my staff feel the same way with this pt's mother

Sorry to be blunt, but get used to it. You'll have to toughen up if you want to continue your job. The pts. with attitude will sometimes outweigh the ones who are appreciative.

Think of it this way: Your "thank you" is your pay check that you get from your employer. Anything beyond that is gravy.

ETA: I agree with the other posters that her exasperation with you was understandable. Perhaps when you go there next time, if she still seems upset apologize for causing confusion. Bear in mind that when you are in the pt's. home, you are a guest.

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I understand now that I screwed up...

I should have tried to help the pt get to bed but mom just seemed done with me at that point... I talked to staff about it and I think next time I will ask before going to do that kind of check. Simply saying that I'm a little concerned and asking if it's okay before going ahead with it.

I mean... I think I could be overanalyzing the situation as well... Other staff told me that if mom is upset she verbally says so and she didn't... So I'm just not sure

I'm just so afraid of messing up in any way (whether it's upsetting the family or letting someone get hurt or sick) ... I dont know

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Specializes in Pediatrics, Emergency, Trauma.

Moving forward, make sure you regard your clients feelings; that would be the best thing to do in order to not "mess up".

Best wishes.

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