Holding a grudge?

[AmeliasAunt]

Hello!

I have been a nurse for about 8 years and recently left bedside nursing for community health. I am very happy with this decision and is a couple years in the making. My problem is, that I cannot shake this feeling about a hospital position that I held for nearly 6 years, and I feel as if it "ruined" bedside nursing for me.

I worked on a busy Telemetry floor and for the most part very much enjoyed working there for approx. 4 years. Suddenly, things started to change and the job was not so enjoyable anymore. Administrators would nickel and dime nurses about staffing, the interns and residents became especially useless, and just an unbelievable amount of political and bureaucratic nonsense! Long story short, I was becoming increasingly frustrated and it seemed like, not only was I the only one who would voice my opinions, but no one else really seemed to care. Therefore, and I don't want to suggest that all of the nurses I worked with were sub-par, but no one seemed to be performing beyond a minimum requirement either.

I was also a member of the Clinical Ladder team. This means I attended meetings, educated on new policies, and was a resource nurse for the staff. There were 3 of us on the ladder and we shared the responsibilities that came with it. During my yearly performance review, I was given a score of "key contributor", which basically means I came in and performed my basic job functions. I was not awarded the "role model" status, but the other 2 ladder people were, as well as a couple people not on ladder. My manager expressed how stellar of a job I was doing and told me that there was no room anywhere for improvement, but could not explain to me why I was given only a "key contributor" rating. Needless to say, I was disgusted. My manager then went on to ask me if i was going to help with the upcoming computer training!!! From that point on, I stepped down from the ladder and put in my notice a couple of months later.

I had planned to stay on board PRN. Honestly, I am not sure why, perhaps just fear of the unknown. Anyway, my manager emailed me a few days prior to a shift and told me that I wouldn't be needed any long on PRN staff since "you don't like the way things are done here". She then wished me well, end of story.

I cannot help but feel such anger? hurt? disappointment? by the way things played out. I kind of feel like I was somehow punished by speaking up, instead of marching along like a good little soldier and keeping my mouth shut. I put in a lot of hard work on that unit, and for the manager, and honestly cannot believe I was treated the way that I was. Looking back, I guess I was naive. Many of the things that I thought I was doing for the good of the unit was just making me look like a goody-two-shoes. However, I also thought I was being encouraged to handle certain things the way that I did.

Sorry for the rant but I want to feel okay about my time at that hospital and feel comfortable using my manager as a reference if need be. How can I get over this?!?

Thanks.

[Been there,done that, ASN, RN]

I could have written your story right down to the 4 years on telemetry.

You do realize that, that bitter taste in your mouth is coming from the manager? There was some personality conflict going on and the power mongerer will always win.

You're doing the right thing, moving on.Learn from it. Managers take any criticism on policy/procedures personally. Therefore, unless it's dangerous to the patient ... keep your observations to yourself.

You're on to bigger and better things.

[RNperdiem, RN]

To make real changes on a problem unit requires identifying the problem, coming up with a solution and getting the buy-in from your coworkers and manager. The first step is easy, but the other 2 are were most people get tripped up.

Without the buy-in of the others, nothing changes. In some ways, nursing is a team sport.

What were you speaking up about? Were these patient safety issues? Were these issues that the manager could do something about?

[Nurse SMS, MSN, RN]

It seems to be the new "model" in management of nurses to allow only so many "stellar" reviews and everyone else gets put down as average or worse, no matter how stellar they really are. I am finding as I interview for new positions and ask how they determine raises and do performance reviews that they all are quick to say that it is VERY difficult to get a stellar review and all have examples as to some exemplary employee they just love and that they didn't even get 5s on their review and that this person essentially walks on water, etc.

I find this incredibly sad and short sighted, but apparently typical.

[nurseprnRN, BSN, RN]

Many of us have been there-- stellar reviews one month with a big bonus, then shown the door two months later for "not being what we want here."

If you're not making waves, you're not moving forward. Sail on! You will be happier elsewhere.

[Horseshoe, BSN, RN]

"Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and expecting the other guy to get sick."

Move on and let it go.

[all4neuro]

Was your review score lower than what you deserved d/t retaliation or jealousy?

It happens to employees (it is not uncommon).

I have personally witnessed this when a nurse is transferring, has improved themselves by earning an advanced degree, sat beside the CNO at a conference, chosen for an award ... etc. etc.

Most employees resign, or transfer. I wish I could empower more nurses to quit leaving without making a statement first. Fight for what and who you are. When you deserve better, own it, and don't back down.

Bad nurses know they are bad. They don't care. Receiving a subpar review ... the bad employees don't blink twice over it.

All the others, they CARE! They care about making lives better, they care about their work environment, they care, CARE! CARE! Good/great/excellent nurses that are given an inaccurate review, it goes against everything they strive for. Processing and thinking about it later is normal for individuals that have a healthy conscience. (Disclaimer: those with borderline personality disorder, and/or other mental deficits, are another topic).

If you don't deserve the rating, don't sign it.

Even if it reads "signing doesn't equate that employee agrees". Don't sign it. If your a nervous wreck, and feel like you can't say the words "I decline to signed, based on ..." find your courage. Don't sign it.

Your involvement in unit committees, and voluntarily filling in when there was a need was documented. Co-workers witnessed your support and work ethic. I agree with challenging the review.

I will speak up and be shipped out, rather than stay and be silent. In saying this, I also know who to speak to, and keep it in a professional tone. If you're "speaking up" means complaining in the break room, during report, lunch, and to even JUST ONE rumormonger...then I cannot sympathize with the situation.

Only you know the real facts.

Regardless, moving on means not necessarily accepting the consequences, but learning from the experience. Avoid pessimism, find the factors that you can utilize for personal growth.

Having a grudge will keep you linked to those negative thoughts. And, trust me ... those that you left behind are not thinking about it, and have probably forgotten.

As far as your resume, I know nurses that have used a charge nurse or assistant manager successfully.

[Anonymous865]

Here's reality regarding reviews - about 80% of employees are going to be rated as average. Believe it or not this is a good rating. It means you are doing your job well.

10% of employees are going to be rated as above average and 10% are going to be below average.

Being rated as average is hard for anyone who worked hard all through school to be at the top of their class. Once you get into the work force your average rating feels like a "C." Remember that your peers also worked hard and were at the top of their class. Your rating is going to be based on how you perform relative to your peer group. That's how companies justify the 80%, 20% rule on performance reviews.

What this means in the real world - your manager was probably told how many people he/she could rank in each category. Everywhere I've worked you give the high rating to some of your high performers this year. Next year you give those people an average rating and give the high rating to different people. Eventually you'll be able to give a high rating to each high achiever at some point. I've experienced this as an employee and done this as a manager. It's not a great system, but no one ever said the world was fair.

[JeanettePNP, MSN, RN, NP]

I've experienced this as an employee and done this as a manager. It's not a great system, but no one ever said the world was fair.

We say that when we're talking about things that are out of anyone's control. It's not fair that a 16-year old kid gets cancer. It's not fair that someone lost all their possessions in a fire. It's not fair that a tornado blew my house away.

But when we're talking about processes and procedures that are man-made and can be modified, then "the world isn't fair" is no excuse.

[all4neuro]

Who "made up" the 80%/20% rule.

Managers ... why would you except it, if you want EXCELLENT employees, you get them then rate them as average?

I don't, and will never except it! I know what I do, and my eval. THAT reflects the entire YEAR better show it.

It is really unethical, b/c essentially the managers are lying ... what would you guess?? as far as % that a manager is lying b/c of a ratio they use?

[JeanettePNP, MSN, RN, NP]

Yes, I think your performance review should be tied to YOUR performance, not to what everyone else is doing. It's entirely possible to aim for excellence from ALL staff members and recognize them for it. If you keep marking everyone as "average" except for a handful of suck-ups, well that's exactly what you're going to get.

[dudette10, MSN, RN]

Performance reviews are a complete joke in every industry. I was in marketing, my husband is in IT and we both know they are ridiculous. It's all about money, which is why a stellar employee might even get a needs improvement! NI = no raise because the manager has x amount of dollars to hand out or x number of promotions. They don't mean anything! Excellent is difficult to get because only a few can be given, not because most employees don't deserve it. I know it sounds weird to say this about a performance review, but you can't take it personally as long as there are no safety issues brought up.