Hmm...that's nice

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What are your feelings when a patient or family member pulls the 'nurse card' (current or former nurse) on you when you or a team member is delivering care? I typically found family members the worse, but as long as it didn't interfere with my duties I would achknowledge the fact but pretty much ignored them and just smiled a lot.

I really have relatives and friends that are Doctors, Nurses, Researchers/Chemists and Pharmacists. I'm also related to some amazing Ancestry as are most if they do the research. Military Heroes and Teachers. Sometimes it's just in the "it's a small world" vernacular. I'm also a mom, would that have the same effect?

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Specializes in Emergency/Cath Lab.

You mean the "Im a CNA but call myself a nurse" card?

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Specializes in Psych, Corrections, Med-Surg, Ambulatory.
Many years ago there was a pt. at the psych hospital at which I worked who frequently spoke of having played with the Grateful Dead. Everyone considered him delusional...until Jerry Garcia came to visit him.

It's always most "out there" delusions that turn out to be true.

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Specializes in Psych, Corrections, Med-Surg, Ambulatory.
Are you sure they are really intending to intimidate you? Have you considered that they may simply be doing their best to learn about their family member's care? I have stood next to my relative's nurse and looked at the computer screen for my relative's EHR with him/her, and both of us had a conversation about aspects of my family member's care. I was my family member's authorized representative and POA. It is quite likely they were in a similar position, wanting to learn more about the care their family member was receiving. Why not try to be helpful towards them instead of despising them? Also, keep in mind that they may be lawfully entitled to ask questions about the patient's care and to receive proper answers.

Yes. Ask questions and receive answers. That's the appropriate way to get information about a loved one. It's extremely intrusive to look over anyone's shoulder at a computer screen or a paper chart for that matter. It's still a personal space violation even if information wasn't involved.

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Yes. Ask questions and receive answers. That's the appropriate way to get information about a loved one. It's extremely intrusive to look over anyone's shoulder at a computer screen or a paper chart for that matter. It's still a personal space violation even if information wasn't involved.

Are you really saying that a reasonably behaved family member who is authorized to receive protected health information standing next to the nurse discussing their family member's care while looking at a relevant screen with the nurse i.e. lab values, is behaving inappropriately and violating personal space/crossing boundaries? If so, I don't think it's the family member who has the problem with boundaries.

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You mean the "Im a CNA but call myself a nurse" card?

If that was for me "no" the best I could claim in that field would be Brownie, Girll SCOUT, Cadet that volunteered to a home for terminally ill children, then lifeguard. Still proudest of raising loving, responsible kids.All mentioned including Nursing are Service and we should all desire to serve. What a wonderful world this would be, filled with Givers instead of Takers.5

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Are you really saying that a reasonably behaved family member who is authorized to receive protected health information standing next to the nurse discussing their family member's care while looking at a relevant screen with the nurse i.e. lab values, is behaving inappropriately and violating personal space/crossing boundaries? If so, I don't think it's the family member who has the problem with boundaries.

It is because my patient assignment comes up on my screen so anyone looking over my shoulder can see my other patients' names.

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I don't let it bother me. I just turn off the "real person" talk like saying output in cups and start using ml, etc. Also the "note takers" don't bother me, I spell things for them to help them looking it up (like medications), which that bothers some of my colleagues.

I personally don't let providers know I am a nurse when they are caring for my family, because I don't want them to feel like I am judging them (I'm not) or make them nervous. When they are caring for me, they usually know, because the know me, lol. so I try to be as non-judgemental and open as I can. Who wants a nervous nurse?

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I usually ask them if they want me to print off labs or whatever so they don't have to gawk over my shoulder. Just read it from a paper, lol

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I love taking to them because you can talk shop without editing out medical jargon. However, when they come into my sandbox and stop the tube feed because they thought patient was getting too much then I draw the line.

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Specializes in ICU; Telephone Triage Nurse.

My own husband tried to make me do that years ago when his dad had to have an emergent 3 vessel CABG. We had to travel out of state to Hollywood, CA with less than 12 hours notice with an irritable 3 year old in tow (oh boy! :) ) so fatigue, anxiety and flaring tempers were running at DEFCON level 2 range already.

My father-in-law was about 12 hours post-op - extubated, but still in the ICU with a swan gantz and a-line.

I believe my husband's clouded thought process may have been something alo: "You better take good care of my dad - even when I'm not around to keep an eye on you, because one of us actually knows whether you are, or not".

I was horrified and embarrassed that he would even think of asking me to do that, and I flat out refused. What was the point? The only one I could think of was to intimidate.

My husband was irrational and cranky, running on too much caffeine and not enough sleep - plus enough stress to induce an MI in ten adult men (he doesn't handle being uuy It 6ynder pressure very well and it shows).

My husband suddenly found himself in a situation where he had lost all control, so it stands to reason that his attempt to bully the nurse (and let's be honest, that was exactly what it would have been had he gotten his way) must have been his subconscious telling him here is a way of gaining even the smallest shred of control.

My husband couldn't had,,,my reasons for not doing so that day, but I tried to make him realize that pestering or harrassing the nursing staff is NOT the way to ensure best possible care for your loved one. Negative reinforcement rarely has a desirable outcome.

Over the past 24 years of my nursing career I have found myself on the receiving end of a patient's family member waving the 'ole red nursing card. I found it can go one of two ways:

1) They are really nice and helpful, and we amicably spend some time chatting, or …

2) They are aggressive and in your face about everything, watching you closely to point out even the tiniest of flaws in the quality of your actions. And they want to read through the chart.

I have to admit that door #2 makes me feel very uncomfortable and a bit nervous - so much so that I dreaded going back into the room.

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Specializes in OB.
Are you really saying that a reasonably behaved family member who is authorized to receive protected health information standing next to the nurse discussing their family member's care while looking at a relevant screen with the nurse i.e. lab values, is behaving inappropriately and violating personal space/crossing boundaries? If so, I don't think it's the family member who has the problem with boundaries.

Do you really think looking over a nurse's shoulder at the computer, where there very well may be other patients' information on the screen, breathing down their neck and invading their personal space is "reasonable behavior?" I sure don't.

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