Hello my name is.......and I am OBESE

[madwife2002]

When I googled the word obesity I was astonished to find that I had 156,002,803 results.

What is Obesity?

• Wikipedia describes it as a medical condition in which excess body fat has accumulated to the extent that it may have an adverse effect on health, leading to reduced life expectancy and/or increased health problems.
• The World Health Organization (WHO) describes obesity as abnormal or excessive fat accumulation that presents a risk to health. A crude population measure of obesity is the body mass index (BMI), a person's weight (in kilograms) divided by the square of his or her height (in metres). A person with a BMI of 30 or more is generally considered obese. A person with a BMI equal to or more than 25 is considered overweight.

There's even a society for Obesity: Home - The Obesity Society

Overweight and obesity are major risk factors for a number of chronic diseases, including diabetes, cardiovascular diseases and cancer. Once considered a problem only in high income countries, overweight and obesity are now dramatically on the rise in low- and middle-income countries, particularly in urban settings.

So my question is how does all this information help me?

• I love eating ... there's no question and I love eating foods which are 'bad' for me ... I can't help it - they are delicious.
• So why can't I stop eating?
• Why can't I change my lifestyle?
• How can I stop the delicious foods cravings?
• And, I know that 95% of diets fail ... 1 in 20 dieters will succeed.

We discussed this at work recently and decided that you can do without cigarettes and drugs; and, you can freely move around in society without ever coming into contact with them.

Unfortunately, you cannot avoid food. You have to eat - there are no two ways around it!

In all societies, we eat food for pleasure! We have restaurants, weddings, christenings, birthday parties, July 4th parties ... you name it we have a party and it all includes FOOD. Our mouths drool at the thought of all the delicious food we are going to eat.

If the food is bad then we complain and moan, for days, weeks and even years. We remember.

If the food is good we compliment that person, party, or restaurant, for days, weeks and years. We return to good restaurants for ever or as long as the food is good.

So how is it possible to lose weight and stay slim?

We read about success stories in magazines, newspapers and television.

We the OB's have to stay away from food because we can diet, and we do diet a lot, but we can't stop returning to the food which pleasures us!

I diet one year - lose 30lbs easily. I am almost starved to death whilst I am losing it. Then one day my resolve is broken ... just one candy, just one or two chips, a small bite of the cookie or the cake, an extra serving of potato and WHAM I am right back to square one! Then I feel comforted inside - Oh boy the food I am missing tastes soooooooooooooo ... it is not in my imagination it is real!!

I love the feeling of being slim I really do it is great but the problem is I love food more. The 30lb's I lost is now 50 lbs gain. How did it happen? I really don't know but who cares ... who really cares ... only ME.

Everywhere I go there is food! It's on the TV, there are cooking programs which make food look so yummy, movies and tv shows have everybody eating, at work people are eating, machines give us food, free samples in supermarkets ... you name it there it is!

I can change my lifestyle but I love my lifestyle. That's where the problem lies-it's not against the law to eat! You don't beat people up, murder or cause fights and arguments in the home, it doesn't make you abuse children or women. It is socially acceptable to eat, food is sold everywhere-you don't have to go down a back alley to deal food.

Honestly, it frightens me that I am killing myself with my weight problems-but I am happy and contented as long as nobody takes my photo.

I really don't know anybody who has weight problems and has kept off the weight! Every single person I know replaces the lost weight within a couple of years and puts more on.

This is the area we have to look at, not how to diet because I am sure every single person who is overweight knows how to diet! The problem is keeping it off. Yes! You have to change your lifestyle but I think the problem is we like our lifestyle-to change it means we can't go out every week to eat or to people's houses for meals, or go to the food parties because Temptation is why we return to our bad eating habits! If we were strong willed we would all be a size 6-10 I guarantee that.

So to all the diet companies out there...

We all know how to diet! We have been on a diet and most of us still exercise. We don't eat more, we just can't stop the weight from piling on. We need more than just salads, chicken, or fish no carbs, no cakes, no chips, choc, or candy. Give us something that is close to what we normally eat - allow certain treats. It's by no means the answer but it can help those who stray from their diets.

I want to stop this yo yo diet

Quote

The only diet that works is a change of life style. You might be able to loss weight and stay off in a few months. However, you will bounce back if you stop dieting. A recent research found women that are frequently on yo yo diet ( if they gain/lose more than 10 pound for 10 or more time in their adulthood) are 2.5 time more likely to get kidney cancer than those who have stable weight (even if they are overweight).

Yo Yo diet - How typical dieter failed to lose weight and became heavier in long term

[madwife2002, BSN, RN]

Very interesting and compelling posts thank you for them all. I am enjoying reading all your points of view and advice.

Keep it coming

[llg, PhD, RN]

Dear Redhaired Nurse:

Thank you for your thoughtful (not vengeful) reply to my post. Apparently, you share many of the same struggles that many of us overweight people share. I was a bit harder on you than I should have been ... and I apologize for that. I'm happy to see that we need not get into a big, ugly flame war.

After losing about 40 pounds a few years ago, I regained much of it back as I have also struggled with hypothyroidism. Every time my levels dropped, I gained an incredibly quick 5 pounds. Then we would raise the dose and my weight would stabilize, but I couldn't lose what I had regained. That happened 3 times. Then I broke my ankle. Then I developed some muscle problems in my knee. Net result -- regained 30 of the 40 that I had lost ... and can't seem to get back to the "losing" pattern again.

[RedhairedNurse, BSN, RN]

It's okay llg, I didn't take offense. I just wasn't clear enough in my post. I've been flamed so many times on here, I know how it feels so I try to keep my words kind. I know, it's very hard to get motivated. I'm fighting myself right now knowing I need to go get on my elliptical this morning. I know once I get on and after the endorphins kick in I'll feel great and be glad I did. It's just so hard dragging myself into my home gym. It's a daily struggle. I will though, i have to because the weekend are my cheat eating time, so a couple of pieces of cake. etc will catch up with me if I don't do something.

It the words of Al Roeker on the Today show this morning......he said "We know we're fat, we don't need people telling us we're fat and what to do about it, we'll do it when we're ready!" I'm paraphrasing that a bit, but it's pretty right on with what he said.

I'm sorry if I don't seem compassionate enough. My husband gets on me all the time when I say something about why people let themselves get so big. He'll correct me every time, and say "honey, it could happen to you very easily, so be careful what you say." I know it's an epidemic in our country.

I just hope to encourage people to exercise. Even if you don't feel like it. Go buy an elliptical machine or treadmill, get an iPod and just try to make an effort to exercise. Just once you get on, it does feel so good, it's just getting on thats the hardest part. But even Jillian Michaels says she has to make herself go as well. If it's nice out side, then it's better to be outdoors, but I'm in TX so it's too hot now to go outside.

Also weight training is important. I have a set of CDs I exercise with. Muscle burns fat and increases metabolism so I try to do that 3 times per week. Like I said, it's SO HARD to make myself do this, but it's the reward of feeling and looking halfway decent that is my reward.

Just hang in there and hopefully you can get back to where you need to be. Remember protein and good carbs. Don't deprive yourself totally, I don't, but I eat very small portions when I do cheat two days/week. I quit eating pasta, bread, anything that is white when I had to lose my 40 pounds last March and it's amazing how I just can't eat that stuff any more. I took some to lunch with me the other night, and ate a small portion. I could still feel that pasta in my stomach hours later. Oh, it felt like I ran into a brick wall. It was awful.

It just takes dedication and when you're ready, you're ready. Like Al Roeker said, it's your call on when you are ready. I'm just hoping my story will help inspire other's.

Good luck to you and heres hoping you have happy and healthy days ahead.

[RedhairedNurse, BSN, RN]

Most of the friends I have that do have a problem with weight have been on various diets and find themselves kind of depressed because the weight does not stay off and like you, they enjoy eating.

There are some ways to lose the weight without starving yourself or doing the various diets that are available: drinking lots of water is very filling, and those chewable fibre supplements they sell OTC have also helped some of my friends feel full longer than they normally would.

It can also be a matter of metabolism--you've probably already done this, but do get your thyroid hormones checked out. Regular exercise can also help; the trick is finding something that you like and sticking with it. I walk several miles per day and on my off days, do strength and flexibility training.

You don't need to be skinny to be fit and healthy. I know plenty of full-figured women who are just as fit and healthy as I am.

You're right about food being everywhere...at least when I quit drinking I was able to avoid it by simply staying away from bars and liquor stores.

Hopefully some of this helps you out.

Mere Buff Nurse:

I agree that our brains run off carbs. But we have to learn the good from the bad. I'll eat oatmeal and wheat toast in the morning, those are carbs but they're good carbs. I'll eat veggies with my protein and those are good carbs. I just refuse to eat pasta which I think is a bad carb and shouldn't be consumed, now there is wheat pasta, haven't tried that yet, but I should. I have a very skinny daughter and sometimes cooking spaghetti is convenient and the family likes it, plus I need to keep some weight on her. I'll just eat the meat/meat sauce only with some veggies/salad on the side; and maybe a few nuts to go with it. I've learned how to eat like this over the years of fighting my hypothyroidism and this is what works for me. I don't do Southbeach, Atkins or weight watchers. I know this works for some people, but i've found what works for me.

[RedhairedNurse, BSN, RN]

Sorry Jellicoe13, quoted on wrong post. It was meant for MereBuffNurse.

[ghillbert, MSN, NP]

Honestly I think the answer to most obese people's problems (mine included) is more intensive psychological therapy than diet advice. Trust me, overweight and obese people are the diet EXPERTS - they often know more about it than the skinny people do, because they have tried it all.

The reasons we put it back on are psychological, not physiological. We tell ourselves "a little won't hurt". We tell ourselves we "deserve" the cake. We subconsciously think we DON'T deserve good things and sabotage our weight loss/maintenance. We use food as a comfort and a punishment, friend and enemy.

It's not as easy as "eat less and exercise more", or the weight loss/gain recidivism rate wouldn't be about 97% longterm.

[tencat]

It's interesting to see how passionate people are about the issue of weight. No one can argue that being a healthy weight, eating right, and exercising are all good for us. I think overweight people KNOW that. For whatever reason they are not able to put it into practice. And as others have said, some overweight people are active and healthy, yet they are still overweight. What bothers me is the attitude people seem to have that if you are fat, you deserve to be ridiculed for it. I have a friend who probably tips the scales at over 350lbs, and I've gone out with her and seen people openly say horrible things around her and to her. They feel they have the right to do that since she 'dares' put herself out in public. I have a problem with that attitude. Any 'ism', racism, sexism, etc. is WRONG. It is NOT ok to openly declare your 'ism' against anyone else. I have been the recipient of racism, and sexism, and to say that well, it's ok if I am openly nasty to fat people because it's NOT the same is just an excuse for someone to continue to be nasty. It is the same. It stems from hate for a particular group.

[RedhairedNurse, BSN, RN]

Gilbert -

I know all too well about sabotage. Just this last weekend I was depressed about something that had come up in my life.....what did I do? I ate, and I ate and I ate; I was miserable from eating so much. I find comfort in food myself. But I pick myself up and dust myself off and actually just got off my elliptical for 40 min and 30 min of free weights.

But I know how it feels to be overweight and have the fight with food.

when I was up to 180 my mom would always tell me how fat I was. It

was so hurtful. It did spring me into action though along with several other forms of encouragement.

So in the end.......people that are overweight need encouragement and that is why I'm posting. I hope to encourage people and say..... if I can do it, so can they; and also by giving advice for what works for me, etc.

I know overweight people know how to diet, but some of them do it the wrong way

by only eating veggies and depriving themselves. I took diet out of my vocabulary, it is a life style change no matter how many people wantto argue that term. I use to be able to eat those burgers and fries all the time, but as I age and with my hypothyroidism, I've had to make a change in my eating habits. Although I will treat myself to a burger about once a month. And finally, even if we fall off the wagon at times, we can get right back on which is what I do on a weekly basis.

[psychonaut]

Make oxycodone OTC, put it in the candy aisle. Make it cheap and easily obtained.

A small proportion of the population will not use it, or only sparingly. Reasons will range from "psychological" (e.g. moral, personal, whatever) to "physiological" ("I don't get anything out of it," "It makes me sick/itchy/constipated/whatever," etc.).

A large proportion of the population will use it, in higher and higher doses as tolerance develops. Population-wide problems (both social and medical) will increase. News magazines will bemoan "The Epidemic of Oxy" (yeah, they already do, I know).

Some of those who don't use, or can successfully use in controlled amounts, will look down upon those who do, and chastise them for lack of "will power."

Some of those who use will counter with the scientific evidence of addiction, and insist it is "not their fault."

A small percentage of those who don't use will recognize the biological basis for these behaviors, acknowledge the importance of decision-making in the process, and rationally seek ways to help those who are struggling and actively want help.

A small percentage of those who use will acknowledge where their own decisions have led them, while understanding they are "fighting" their own biology. They will accept responsibility, and either seek help, or just say "hell with it" and keep on with what they are doing.

A cheap and easily available substance that directly tickles the brain's reward pathways will always be sought and embraced by the population.

[Conqueror+, BSN, RN]

We live in a microwave society and i am not referring to food. We want to have all the delicious goodies NOW and when we get an inkling to lose weight we want it gone NOW. Couple that with reality shows touting weight loss of 100+ pounds in a mere 4 months and its no wonder our eating culture is the way it is. If an alcoholic refuses a drink at a party they're a hero. Refuse nana's drop biscuits and you're going to hell on a full scholarship. This is HARD but it still comes down to choices.

[vegas2009]

Thanks for your story RedhairedNurse.

I admire your persistance. It is true, age makes it harder to lose weight. I hear that it normally starts around 40 ish. Every person's ability to lose weight varies. I just don't know why some people don't seem to have a natural 'gag' reflex or just choose not to use it?

[LovebugLPN]

What do you mean by "choose not to use it"?