Having children while getting education

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I posted this in another forum, but meant to post it here. Sorry. :)

I just wanted to get some perspective from those that have already been through nursing school and are already working in the field. I'm going to start nursing school next year, but I'm considering getting pregnant this year and having a baby before I enter into the program. My reasons for this are more medical, as I'm not a spring chicken, and would like to add a child into our family before fertility issues come into play. So my question is, is it possible to go through nursing school with a infant/toddler? Would I just be inviting failure? I want to be realistic as to whether I would be able to successful complete my schooling. Also, if I were to wait and get pregnant the last year of nursing school or even after I graduate, how hard is it to leave the field for a year and then go back to work? I need to make a decision as to what is more important? Having a child or getting my degree... it's a tough choice. Any personal experiences would be great! TIA

you can't be a good parent if you're in school, studying, and working. sure, it's doable, but you won't be there for your child. you will instead have him or her shipped off to daycare or have someone else raising your child. in that case, you shouldn't have children. people reading this and have done it, or are doing it - don't attack me. this is my opinion.

I'm wondering, when your children reached grade school age did they attend school? Were you home every day when they got home? When they were (or are) in school, how do you feel about having someone else raise them?

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Wow and aren't these exactly the sort of judgemental statements you are against? Now its not ok to home school or God forbid volunteer at their schools? :confused:

Since you were asking about purposely getting pregnant I think you opened the door and only now do I understand that you only wanted support rather than opinions. I'd consider taking the good with the bad and consider all input as you make your decision although I guesss you had already made up your mind before you even posted.

Just happened upon this thread and I agree with your posts.

When a poster asks a question, you can't just expect answers that you personally wish to hear.

Many people think that day care is not good for kids. And I disagree that moms and dads can't "socialize" their children. I'm not a fan of preschool either. That doesn't make me a parent who "smothers" her children. I simply believe in raising my own kids.

You have to allow other opinions - you don't have to agree with them.

As to purposely getting pregnant while attempting to go to school, I think it is hard to go to school and be there for an infant, especially if you breastfeed. It can be done - I have seen two students do it. But it is hard.

The best thing of course is to get an education prior to having children. But in real life, that doesn't always work. I went back to school for a 2nd career when my youngest started 1st grade and I was 38. Fortunately I was almost always home right after they got home from school.

I wouldn't purposely get pregnant while in school. If time is the problem, I'd get postpone school and have a baby first.

I wish you the best in your decision.

steph

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Wow and aren't these exactly the sort of judgemental statements you are against? Now its not ok to home school or God forbid volunteer at their schools? :confused:

Since you were asking about purposely getting pregnant I think you opened the door and only now do I understand that you only wanted support rather than opinions. I'd consider taking the good with the bad and consider all input as you make your decision although I guesss you had already made up your mind before you even posted.

Hi Jules,

That was actaully my point, you can't possibly be with your children 100% of the time, unless you volunteer all day every day in their classroom or homeschool them. I'm all about volunteering in your child's class. I'm also not again homeschool, when it's done for the right reasons and the parent is qualified (meaning they have the ability to effective teach their child). I think you totally missed my point.

As for having my mind made up already, that couldn't be further from the truth. I'm completely undecided. I have no idea which way we will go. I am also taking everyone's advice,opinions,and their personal stories into account as we continue to talk about this. Like I said before, that "opinion" was completely irrelevent to my questions. It was a generalized statement as to why one would be a bad parent if they chose to work or go to school, and that I will not take into account because it's completely hog-wash.

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Someone asked me about my children. I'm in my early 20s and don't have any children. However, to answer your question, I will be there with them ALMOST all of the time up until the time they reach 1st grade. I will be there everyday after school, with a smile, waiting to drive my child home.

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Specializes in infection control, peds, home infusion.
someone asked me about my children. i'm in my early 20s and don't have any children.

yep, that is kind of what i thought.:p

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someone asked me about my children. i'm in my early 20s and don't have any children.

yep, that is kind of what i thought.:p

actually, having children or not doesn't have make a difference in philosophy regarding using day care or having kids while in school.

one thing i've mentioned to my own grown children regarding dating is to talk about this issue prior to talking about marriage . . . . do you believe in staying home with your kids to raise them or do you believe day care is the way to go? along with many other things of course (money issues, religious issues, pet peeves, etc).

one thing i've noticed is young men nowadays want their wife to work so the burden is not only on them . . .. however, if the wife wants to stay home, that can cause a lot of friction. or vice versa - if he believes in staying home and she doesn't.

this is a big issue.

steph

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Someone asked me about my children. I'm in my early 20s and don't have any children. However, to answer your question, I will be there with them ALMOST all of the time up until the time they reach 1st grade. I will be there everyday after school, with a smile, waiting to drive my child home.

OMG that just explained so much. Hysterical. :chuckle

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Actually having children or not doesn't have make a difference in philosophy regarding using day care or having kids while in school.[/quote']

No, but a mature adult would pass on the nasty, unneeded comments. My mom was a SAHM, my grandmas were both SAHMs. They would NEVER tell another women that she shouldn't have children, or is abandoning them, or isn't raising them because she uses daycare. The difference is that my mother and grandmothers are mature, classy, and just all around decent people.

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Wow...

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OMG that just explained so much. Hysterical. :chuckle

Actually, it pretty much explained everything.

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Wow, this has taken an unfortunate turn. I think that mocking a future mom's idea of being a SAHM who is there everyday for her kids is just as wrong as judging another mom's decision to take her kids to daycare. JMO.

If I had only read the OP and not all the replies, I would probably have warned you of some things to consider since I would assume from your post that you didn't have children. I've had friends that worked full time before having their first baby and fully intended to go back to work after a couple of months and then just could not do it, or it was extremely difficult on them emotionally to be separated from their young infant and they were miserable going to work each day. However, later I read that you have a 12 yr old and judging from your responses you are okay with using daycare for your future infant.

The biggest issue I would think for you will simply be time...you will probably not be able to study as much as you'd like and you will probably not get a lot of sleep. Also, your stress level will be higher than if you didn't have a baby. Bottom line is, there are going to be times where you will have to make tough decisions about where to spend your time. It won't be easy, but it doesn't last forever either.

I can completely understand the age factor and desire for another child. I think that if your husband is very supportive and you guys have a "we're in this together" sort of attitude that you will be fine with a baby. You have the rest of your life to do nursing school and be a nurse, but our biological clocks won't wait around forever!

Good luck with whatever you decide, it's not an easy decision to make!

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Wow, this has taken an unfortunate turn. I think that mocking a future mom's idea of being a SAHM who is there everyday for her kids is just as wrong as judging another mom's decision to take her kids to daycare. JMO.

Please quote where anyone mocked someone's preference of being a SAHM. Thanks.

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