Having children while getting education

Published

I posted this in another forum, but meant to post it here. Sorry. :)

I just wanted to get some perspective from those that have already been through nursing school and are already working in the field. I'm going to start nursing school next year, but I'm considering getting pregnant this year and having a baby before I enter into the program. My reasons for this are more medical, as I'm not a spring chicken, and would like to add a child into our family before fertility issues come into play. So my question is, is it possible to go through nursing school with a infant/toddler? Would I just be inviting failure? I want to be realistic as to whether I would be able to successful complete my schooling. Also, if I were to wait and get pregnant the last year of nursing school or even after I graduate, how hard is it to leave the field for a year and then go back to work? I need to make a decision as to what is more important? Having a child or getting my degree... it's a tough choice. Any personal experiences would be great! TIA

Up Vote Up Vote ×

you can't be a good parent if you're in school, studying, and working. sure, it's doable, but you won't be there for your child. you will instead have him or her shipped off to daycare or have someone else raising your child. in that case, you shouldn't have children. people reading this and have done it, or are doing it - don't attack me. this is my opinion.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Case mgmt., rehab, (CRRN), LTC & psych.

I would not purposely become pregnant prior to starting nursing school.

School is a tough place where your instructors will not accommodate you if your child becomes sick or a daycare emergency arises. Some schools are so strict with their attendance policies that you'll get kicked out of many nursing programs if you accumulate as few as 3 unexcused absences. Although children are blessings, giving birth to one before school will only add tremendous stressors to your journey to becoming a nurse. Good luck to you.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

It depends on how "good" at school you are. Is school typically hard for you to begin with? I have a 2 year old, a 6 month old, and I may be pregnant now and I do fine with school- I got all A's. I am not in nursing school yet (I'm on the wait list and taking other filler classes right now). Are you working also? I would suggest that WORKING, school, and children won't work- it's just too much. But school and kids, or work and school, or any combo of two is ok. It's HARDER, but you can do it! Seriously, don't put off a family for school. Biological clocks are ticking! tick tick tick!:twocents: Where will you be if you are a nurse and have a JOB but no family???? Work is work. Don't forget to LIVE!

ETA- I am taking a night/weekend program at school- which has a much family friendly format! Have you checked to see if your school offers a program like that?

Up Vote Up Vote ×

I do not see a problem with having a child while in school. It can be consuming but doable. I am in college and have a 2 yr old disabled child. I do go to school at night so I am able to stay home with him during the day. His father stays home with him at night. If you feel the time is right to have a baby go for it. it's different for everyone. What is good for one may not be good for the other. Trust your judgment.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in ICU.

It is do-able if you don't have a job also. Now, if you are ONLY going to school and you have the children/baby, then it is do-able, although the baby will be going do a daycare/sitter during the day. You will be a busy woman. Even on the weekends you will be busy with studying and homework. If having a baby is really important to you, and you feel you can't wait, go ahead and do it. The chips will fall where they may. You will be happy. The time will pass whether you are going to school or not, whether you are having a baby or not. Just make sure you make time for the baby,,, as they grow up so fast!!

Up Vote Up Vote ×

I'd just like to clarify that I don't work. Going to school is my "job". My situation is my husband works and I go to school. We already have a 12 yr old child. My child doesn't suffer because I go to school. I think that is very closed minded to say that you aren't a good parent if you work or go to school. JMVHO. Like I said before, I'm not a spring chicken, therefore I am "racing the clock", so to speak, if we want to add to our family. What I was more looking for was an answer as to whether the nursing program is so grueling that having a child would be out of the question. Or if having another child would "kill" my career if I took off a year. Thank you to those that were able to answer my question. I really appreciate it. I don't mean to "sound" rude, I was just offended by that earlier comment. Thanks again! :)

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Making the Pt laugh..

I started my Nursing training with 5 kids at home, I studied full-time and worked full-time, this while fitting the kids in where I could. I had the advantage that my wife stayed at home looking after them. My wife started her Behavioural Science degree during this time and people could not see how we could do it without neglecting the kids.

My wife studies part time from home and worked the time-line for her practical subjects for starting next year when our youngest starts Primary School, (I think in the US it is Elementary school). My degree is well finished giving me a solid career before she needs to worry about looking for her dream job.

In our case we started our education late due to kids "popping up" and scuttling our earlier plans, it can be done, it is hard, it is doable and the kids need not be neglected if you and your partner work as a team.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

First off, if you really want to be a nurse, you'll figure out a way, one way or another!!! People have managed to make many different situations work for them. So, no, going to school and having kids is not completely out of the question. You get to try to figure out what will work for you and your family.

Most full-time M-F nursing programs are VERY time consuming. Lectures, clinicals, driving back and forth across town to various clinical sites, enormous reading assignments, written assignments, group projects, and... oh yes, studying! It doesn't leave much down time. And as another noted, many programs are not very flexible if students need to take time out for any reason.

If there IS a part-time program in your area, it would probably be a lot less stress on you and your family.

In regards to the possibility of taking time out after graduation... it's do-able but it does tend make it more difficult to find work. If you haven't started working within 1yr after graduation, the lack of recent experience is a major drawback.

And starting out as a new nurse can be just as stressful as, if not more stressful than, nursing school itself! And if you're working nightshift (often what's most available for new grads), that can throw your body for a loop for a while as well.

Also, have you already been accepted? Many nursing programs have waiting lists and lottery systems and there's no guarantee of admission at the time you're ready to start. Check it out if you don't know the situation at your local schools.

Get more info about your options, do the whole pro & con thing, talk it over with family, and see what you come up with!

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Yeah... I was offended by that above comment to. The idea that children can only be well taken care of by a stay at home parent is just not true. Babysitters and daycare are not mindless, cold, heartless, warehouseing of children. I also think the idea that you cannot better yourself by having a career or getting an education while you have children is irresponsible. Putting kids in daycare is not irresponsible, not being able to take care of your kids is irresponsible, not setting a good example is irresponsible. And don't tell me that one shouldn't have kids unless they can take care of them, circumstances change. I was a stay at home mom until I was widowed at 25... and had no way to care for my family because I had bought into that whole daycare is awful theory and had not furthered my education. I had a husband who supported us, so of course I needed to stay home. Turns out the kids liked daycare and wanted to go even when I was home...

Rant over:devil: sorry.

You can have another baby, but of course it will be harder than not having the baby. (but we all know that our babies are SOOO worth it:loveya:) Like so many other situations in life that deal with parenting, you will figure out how to make it work. My best friend had a baby 2 weeks before our nursing program started, and my kids were 6 and 4. It was hard, but we got through, what choice do you have? Those of us who were school + kids wondered how those who were school + work managed, and it turns out that they were wondering how WE managed, LOL. One girl had a baby at the start of our last semester, and she also managed. We all had help from family and friends to get us through. The better the support system you have, the better it will work for you. I had several people that I could call on to watch the kids if needed. Many of us had young kids. All of us made it. (We did lose a coulple of girls who were younger and didn't have kids, but all moms made it.)

Did I get to spend as much time around the kids as I would have without being in school? Of course not, but we got enough time in. My friend with the newborn bonded well with her son, that little boy adored his mommy, and yes, he spent time with a babysitter.

If you have a baby you will figure out how to make things work. That window to have a baby will close eventually, make sure you don't have any regrets when it does.

Good Luck,

~BlueBug

Oh yeah... our program was a full-time BSN program. I waited 6 months after graduation to find employment, and it was a little tricky. During one interview I was asked if I had had a difficult time passing the NCLEX, and if this was why I had waited so long to find employment. I told them that I had passed the NCLEX first try a month post graduation and that I had chosen to take the summer off to be with my kids. I got the job, but hadn't thought that my summer off might look like NCLEX trouble. Another local hospital was reserving it's Graduate Nurse opening for students who were going to graduate this December and were doing their last rotations with them... yeah, I had done my last clinical rotation there to and been offered a job, the offer didn't hold. So yes, waiting a year after graduation to seek employment might make job hunting a little more difficult.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in infection control, peds, home infusion.

i had newborn twins and a two and a half year old when i started nursing school. i had all of the pre-requisites already, and luckily, my children were excellent sleepers at the time, so studying was not a problem. it wasn't easy, but it is doable. it just depends how much you want it.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
you can't be a good parent if you're in school, studying, and working. sure, it's doable, but you won't be there for your child. you will instead have him or her shipped off to daycare or have someone else raising your child. in that case, you shouldn't have children. people reading this and have done it, or are doing it - don't attack me. this is my opinion.

Heads up: your opinion IS attacking people. It's ridiculous to post something so offensive and expect no one to take issue.

To the OP: it's doable, but it depends on your circumstances. How much do you have to work? Is your partner the involved type? How quickly do you learn? What will you do for childcare? Do you have backup childcare? Can you afford convenience food so you don't have to cook much? How about housekeeping? Just consider all those things and make your decision based on your own situation.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Join the Discussion