Having a baby before, during, or after nursing school?

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I know there's no "ideal" time to have a child, but I'm hoping to get some input from any moms out there who might have some ideas about the timing of having my first baby. I'm going on 32 and really want to have children, but I am just beginning to take my prerequisites to get into nursing school. I would love to hear anyones input/experience when it comes to being an "older" first time mom and new nurse.

There's just no way around it, the very minimum time it would take my to finish and become an RN is a bit over 3 years. My husband and I could wait, but I would be 35 years old (really more like 36 because I would have to work for at least a year before thinking about taking maternity leave) trying to have my first baby and I'm thinking that by then maybe I will have missed the boat and not be able to get pregnant (basing this idea off of the fact that I had a miscarriage at 18 and have always doubted my fertility since then).

Or I could do my prereq's, take a year off before applying to nursing schools, and have a baby at 33/34 in between prereqs and nursing school.

Or I could have a baby during nursing school, but from everything I've heard, that would probably be a nightmare and why would I do that to myself if I can just go ahead and keep my IUD in?

On the one hand, I am really excited about getting into nursing as soon as possible, but on the other hand I hear my ovaries ticking and wonder if I could end up missing any chance I had to be a mom by putting off starting a family until it's too late.

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Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).

Hi nickymack! Welcome to AN.com!

I admire your endeavor to gain information in order to make the best decision that will affect you and others for the rest of your lives.

I had a vasectomy at the age of 29, while working as an LPN scrub nurse before I got married the first time, and have never regretted the decision.

The very best to you, nickymack!

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Specializes in ED.

Kids+nursing school is doable but it would be a lot easier without them! My biggest challenge is childcare. They all go to school/daycare but if someone is sick then either I have to miss school or my husband has to miss work or we have to scramble to find someone to watch them. To me that is the most stressful part. That said I have 3 and will be graduating in May :) There is no right or wrong choice

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I'm 38 with a 9 & 6 yr old. I'll be graduating in a couple months. It's been difficult but doable with a very supportive family. My parents have been very supportive & have provided all the before & after school care for my kids as my husband works out of town.

Would it have been easier to have kids after? Yes. Would I have wanted to wait longer to have kids? No. Would I have wanted to do this with a newborn? No way! lol

Good luck with your decision.

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Specializes in Critical Care.

I have an elementary aged child right now as I'm going through nursing school. I'm lucky to have my parents nearby who help by putting her on the bus and providing after school care because her father is a total deadbeat who took off years ago. It's easier to have her be the age she is while I'm in school because she is pretty independent, can entertain herself, doesn't take much out of me, and understands the concept of having to do homework. I know there are some people who go through nursing school with newborns/toddlers/pre-schoolers but I would never recommend it. Mine was a really, really good baby (cheery, easy-going, sweet, compliant, healthy) and it was STILL hard just working a 9-5 job and raising her. I can't imagine how difficult it would have been to care adequately for her and deal with nursing school at the same time.

If you really want kids now, it might be better to just go for it, have your kids, and wait a few years until they're in school before starting your own schooling. Nursing school will always be there, your ability to easily have kids won't.

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nickymack said:
I know there's no "ideal" time to have a child, but I'm hoping to get some input from any moms out there who might have some ideas about the timing of having my first baby. I'm going on 32 and really want to have children, but I am just beginning to take my prerequisites to get into nursing school. I would love to hear anyones input/experience when it comes to being an "older" first time mom and new nurse.

There's just no way around it, the very minimum time it would take my to finish and become an RN is a bit over 3 years. My husband and I could wait, but I would be 35 years old (really more like 36 because I would have to work for at least a year before thinking about taking maternity leave) trying to have my first baby and I'm thinking that by then maybe I will have missed the boat and not be able to get pregnant (basing this idea off of the fact that I had a miscarriage at 18 and have always doubted my fertility since then).

Or I could do my prereq's, take a year off before applying to nursing schools, and have a baby at 33/34 in between prereqs and nursing school.

Or I could have a baby during nursing school, but from everything I've heard, that would probably be a nightmare and why would I do that to myself if I can just go ahead and keep my IUD in?

On the one hand, I am really excited about getting into nursing as soon as possible, but on the other hand I hear my ovaries ticking and wonder if I could end up missing any chance I had to be a mom by putting off starting a family until it's too late.

I had a baby my first semester of school. Had a baby my last semester of school. Then went on to have one more baby within a year of graduation. I love my kiddos but I will definitely say nursing school would have been much easier without the added EVERYTHING that children bring. Nursing school is not easy, it is time consuming and intensive. It is stressful, hectic, and many days feels like a rat race but in the end it is oh so worth it for so many of us. (Kind of like having children too when you think about it.)But with that being said I do think you are the only to know your abilities as well as your limits. If you think having a baby and going to school would be a feasible task for you then do what you feel is right. A lot of people may not share in this opinion but there will always be the oppurtunities to pursue nursing schools. Whereas women are only able to bear children for so long. I would also say to consider the other aspects in life that could affect this decision. Like how much of a support system do you have available? Thoughts and feelings on daycare? Financial stability? So many factors to think about when having a baby and so many to consider with nursing school as well. Good luck in your decision.

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I got pregnant while I was doing my prerecs and that worked out well. I just had to make time to pump while I was in class or working (bc that was important to me) andy the time I started nursing school she was in preschool which has been a huge help. It is not easy at all to do nursing school and having kids, but I do love it and I have had to learn how to balance everything. I would not recommend having a baby while in nursing school.

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I had my third baby in the middle of nursing pre-reqs. I delivered and took my pharm final 2 weeks later, that was fun in my post partum state lol not. I graduate from my LPN to RN program this April.

We purposely got pregnant with our third baby during pre-reqs for many reasons. I wanted my kids to be somewhat close in age, I had my first at 21 and I didn't want my third to be born in my 30s because I want some part of my life child free. Also, daycare is ridiculously expensive, having my third while in school meant by the time I graduated he would be 3 and daycare would cost much less when I would be working FT. And I want to focus on my career after graduation, I wanted to be done with having babies at that point so we went for it.

I won't lie, it's been hard, but mainly because my son has had multiple minor health issues and I have two other children involved. My husband has been my ultimate support system and he has had to carry a lot of the child care load at times. He has been fine with it and been there with no complaint but this is something you may want to consider before you have a baby in school - whether or not your husband would up for flying solo frequently while your in school.

I would stop trying to prevent, see what happens, but 100% do not take a break from school. That's the only reason I will be graduating on time, I stayed in school the whole time because I know once a parent leaves, its so much harder to go back because of scheduling issues. Good luck!

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Specializes in ER.

We had one girl who had a kid and went to clinical the next day. Another female had to drop out of peds class/clinical because she was too unstable to leave the hospital (almost had an emergency hyst due to bleeding) and had to double up on classes at the end of the semester in order to graduate on time.

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I'm 39, and finishing up my pre-requisites right now. I have 2 kids (10 and 6). I was lucky that I could stay home with them when they were little, and now I'm back to school (already have one degree). Here's my opinion. DO NOT WAIT. I say this because there is no guarantee that you will even be able to GET pregnant. Our first, we tried for 6 months before getting pregnant (I was 28 at the time). And we were NEVER able to get pregnant again. Drugs, IUI, IVF, no joy. Our 2nd child was adopted (and I can't imagine life without him!)

If you have a great support network, you can make it work. I'm not lucky in that I don't live near family - so my husband I have to juggle schedules when a child gets sick, etc. It's hard with school when I can only miss ONE lab without penalty - things like that. And then during my free time during the day, I'm glad my kids are in school because I need the time to study. So I'd go ahead and try for a baby, but make plans for daycare - family or otherwise.

Also consider taking a few years to have babies, and THEN starting school. Like I said, I'm 39 and just finishing up my pre-requisites!

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Nursing school is temporary. Will it be harder with kids? Of course. Literally everything in life is harder when you have kids. The thing is, they are worth it. I have two kids and am in nursing school and it's fine. You just need to schedule your time wisely and make sure you have backup care lined up in case of an emergency. I would say a good 1/2 or more of my cohort has at least one child. Just get your IUD out and let it happen when it does. There is never going to be a good time to have a child. Don't miss the boat out of fear. You can do it.

edited to add: Regardless of what you do, DONT take a break from school. Like I said before, nursing school is temporary. It goes by so fast. Don't do what I did and take a break after my pre-reqs because I had a kid. It took me 5 years to go back to school. In retrospect, it would have been SOOO much better to just keep trucking along and finish my schooling.

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This is all so heartening to hear. I went to a counseling session last week (just getting enrollment finished up to start nursing school as soon as I get a couple last minute pre-reqs done) and the nursing school counselor put a big damper on my hopes. I don't have a choice about working while going to school. My 1 year old daughter and I are on my insurance through my work, and can't cancel it. I have to work full time, I obviously hope to still have time with my daughter while in school, not to mention hoping to still see my husband some days. But adding in clinicals 3 days a week and classes 2 more days, it doesn't leave much time for anything else. Luckily my boss is very understanding and since we work overnights I think I can still manage to fit work in after school/clinicals. My current shifts are longer than any clinical hours I'll be scheduled, so I'm not worried about long days.

Not knowing for sure when I will get accepted to nursing school, my husband and I have been discussing when we might want to start actively trying to have another baby. We also don't want kids to be spaced too far apart. There are so many variables that it's making me a little crazy trying to juggle everything, but things will fall into place slowly.

I'm expecting a s*** storm of fury once I start nursing school (managing school, clinicals, family, child care, money, studying, unexpected issues, etc,). Weirdly, I still can't wait. :)

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