Anyone ever have one of those coworkers that irk you to the point that you'd like to see them fail?
I normally don't feel that way, but lately I've been harboring a lot of resentment for one of my coworkers. This person is very cruel, and yet our former workplace absolutely loves her. This lady often told me that if I can't do my job, don't do it. She often talked about how great she was. She would frequently mention that she's worked so hard to develop processes and the rest of us are just "messing things up." She believes and acts as if she's God's gift to the world and often has nothing but snide, sarcastic remarks for others.
I would love for her to receive a taste of her own medicine. I would love for her to make a big mistake. Not one that harms a patient, but one that makes her realize she is no angel and she's not perfect. In addition to being cruel, she is demanding and expects everyone to accommodate her schedule. It's okay for her to show up late or leave work early, but if someone else does the same thing, you'd better watch out because she'll let you know what she thinks.
Frankly, I resent that she's able to get away with so much b-crap and remain employed. She doesn't deserve her job. I'd love for her to mess up so that she ends up jobless.
Oftentimes we "See through a glass darkly" why do you think she got those compliments? Perhaps she was really good at her job. You mentioned that she rarely had to put in the OT you did and you have admitted that you struggled with many aspects of your job. If you do your job well you don't need to fish the compliments come in their own time.
I also got the sense that time. Management and delegation were problematic which would lead to OT. Did you receive position annual reviews?
I wasn't in the position long enough to get any reviews. Reviews in previous positions had all been "exceptional" but that was with a different management team, back when the work environment was more friendly and less high-strung, toxic and hostile. Maybe all that can be done is just accept that she was better suited to the job and works better in a high pressure, cut throat environment than I do.
Specializes in Private Practice/Family Healthcare.
I don't wish anyone to fail. When someone on my team fails, that is also a failure on my part. The whole idea of Family, Team, Group, and Unit all imply that our successes and failures are shared. Besides that, the scary part: Who really has the most consequence when a Healthcare Provider Fails?
You're giving this co-worker too much space in your head. I know sometimes things build up and resentment happens, but at the end of the day, it's within yourself to let it go.
Specializes in Psychiatry, Community, Nurse Manager, hospice.
No, a person like this usually doesn't bother me. Because at least you know what they think. I find the ones who talk about you behind your back more distressing.
Also, I'm really good at humorously responding to snide comments.
Example
"Wow, it must be so hard for you to work with a bunch of low lifes like us.”
And if someone told me that if I can't do my job, don't do it. I would probably say "Wow that's profound.” Or something like that.
Wishing someone would fail is hatred, and its a burden to carry that.
At the beginning, I found it difficult to work with my colleague with a superiority complex. It was her frequent practice to "one-up" a colleague, exaggerating her capabilities and accomplishments. She allows herself to become consumed by her need to elevate herself since more often than not, she feels inadequate, insecure, and inferior. It is sad, and I cannot help but feel sorry for her. No, I have never wanted my coworker to fail, but I have set very clear boundaries.
Yurp you are talking about some Typical "know it all" in nursing units-always stirring up ssht, who always get embarrassed by a mishap due to karma...Nahhh, don't waste your time wishing for them to fail, it's destined to happen, trust the voice of fiftyish on life's karma. You are better off not harboring any ill will or negative emotion cause "like will attract like" to you and make you fall in the same hole...just do your work and watch her side eye till the lightning/karma strike! Do you, and get promoted!
It happens to many of us, so unforunate because the level of stress and resentment from the situation is hard to deal with.The worst manager,director in one place,lazy,did nothing but shop online,criticize others,talk about other staff outloud at meetings,thought every man was attracted.All flaws,nasty language,loud outbursts, overlooked by dept heads,she fit the token slot.Staff ran around with no breaks or even sick and the cold remarks,scoldings would pile up...
Specializes in New Critical care NP, Critical care, Med-surg, LTC.
JKL33 said:
Okay, reconsidering the thread title, yes I have felt that way before. But not so much in recent years, since I've decided it's just not worth my time. There's too much crazy/maladjusted out there. For me, to be bothered enough to want them to fail is to have already spent too much brain power on it.
I think this sums up my answer better than my original one. I do not mean to portray myself as saintly, but I don't want to give myself the stress of caring that much for someone that bothers me.
Specializes in New Critical care NP, Critical care, Med-surg, LTC.
SilverBells said:
Maybe all that can be done is just accept that she was better suited to the job and works better in a high pressure, cut throat environment than I do.
You don't have to accept anything of the sort. You never know what's going on behind closed doors, or things that you just wouldn't have any way to know. Don't make any assumption that someone else is better than you, you often mention that you're not suited to certain situations, but I think sometimes you psych yourself out more than is actually true. You are probably doing just fine in your own place, it's not all a competition.
Probably because she has something I want--a place she belongs. She naturally received compliments and recognition from upper management, where I felt like I had to "fish" for any of mine.
SilverBells..it sounds like you are jealous and your self esteem isn't very good. I am not saying that to be critical..and I understand completely what you are saying about how some people just end up in the "perfect" situation personally or professionally whether deserved or not.
It's easy for me and everyone else on here to give you advice to ignore her, etc but really my concern is how focused you are on this person..it's not healthy and if what you say is true, that she always ends up with things working out in her favor, then if you don't find a way to get a hold of how you feel about her it's going to continue to escalate, at least inside your head and that will eventually lead to you saying or doing something that may not going to end well for you. I hope you can find some way to work this out because 100% she doesn't know or care you are upset over her and it's your time and energy being used up on a situation you can't control. Is it fair? No but it's not likely to change anytime soon - if at all.
One of those instances where it is obvious that life favors some people more than others, For some reason, she has found favor not only with the facility, but life in general. She knows how good she is. She knows how superior she is. She knows she can do what she wants, when she wants, because things will work out favorably for her, both in her professional and personal lives. She has intelligence and skills that far exceed those of most people and uses that to her advantage. By being extremely "competent,” she has earned the right to be arrogant, demanding, cocky, demeaning and to be able to work wherever she wants, whenever she wants. She is the facility's Beloved Queen Bee. No one can do things as well as the Queen Bee, as no one can ever achieve the level of perfection that she has. And that is likely why she is allowed to continue to work there.
Have you ever heard of the law of attraction? It sounds like it's working for her. However, the fact that you can see through it is a gift not all have. Sometimes that gift seems like a curse.
I don't want others to fail. Personally I failed as a student and it is the worse feeling. I am surprised how I lasted this long. 6 months of pain and still now it's pain, but who knows if I'll be alive tomorrow. Might as well be in an eternal sleep than to suffer living.
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SilverBells, BSN
1,108 Posts
I wasn't in the position long enough to get any reviews. Reviews in previous positions had all been "exceptional" but that was with a different management team, back when the work environment was more friendly and less high-strung, toxic and hostile. Maybe all that can be done is just accept that she was better suited to the job and works better in a high pressure, cut throat environment than I do.