I started a RN-NP Program with the goal of becoming an NP. I am taking a break now working as an RN having completed the first part of the program.
I have experienced a lot of bullying in nursing school and working as a nurse. It is wearing me down. I know longer know if I want to be an NP because it seems there are some toxic issues in healthcare, plus the workload.
I do have 160,000 in debt with my undergrad and nursing school combined. Part of me wants to finish and do NP just so I can make more of an income and hopefully pay off my debt faster. And do what I always thought I wanted to do, before realizing how toxic healthcare can me. But part of me wants to go into another field, one that is more creative, and I won't likely encounter these issues as much. I have worked in other fields and did not experience any bulling, and have done research and found that it is more prevalent in healthcare.
She just said she experienced bullying predom in nursing. I totally agree! You nurses who blame the victim are in the wrong. I know exactly what the OP is going thru. I had to make that decision too. We're not too sensitive. We're just not power starved a**holes who take out their nasty manipulative aggressions on others. If you like the aggression and call others snowflakes, that speaks more about you than anything. YOU'RE the one who shouldn't be in nursing. YOU'RE the one who needs counseling.
It sounds that along with disagreeing with Klone's statement, that you're implying that she's a bully. (I'll skip the other aspersions.) Is that what you meant or are you referring to people in general?
Klone: "I would also suggest that if everywhere you go (school, workplace, etc) you're met with bullies, that perhaps reflecting on the common denominator might be beneficial."
I don't agree that with Klone's statement since the OP wrote that it is predom nursing where she has experienced this.
Me: "You nurses who blame the victim are in the wrong."
Bullying behavior, in general, is rampant in nursing. Those nurses who blame the victims are in the wrong. That is my opinion. Extra: There are nurses who are not bullies who blame victims.
It sounds that along with disagreeing with Klone's statement, that you're implying that she's a bully. (I'll skip the other aspersions.) Is that what you meant or are you referring to people in general?
Oh I see, I put two opions too close. Klones statement is one then I go into general about bullies. I can see how that could be taken that way. I'm not getting personal to anyone here. I'm making opinions on the topics not the people. When peeps opine that certain peeps are snowflakes or slow, etc. I don't take it personally. It's an opinion. Sorry if it was interpreted this way. I didn't mean it that way. ?
A bullying tactic I've observed once directed at me and another time directed at some unknown new grad ICU nurse, was a couple of "friends" would decide the target wasn't a good nurse, wasn't smart enough and rather than give the person the benefit of the doubt or recognize they are new and still learning and choosing to mentor them, they take the opposite approach and try to drive them out. They come up with a complaint and separately at different times go to their manager with the same complaint. It is a very sad why to treat a coworker. Rather than mentoring, they choose to attack someone.
Their actions did not directly harm me with my manager, but did affect my self confidence and trust and make me paranoid. Years later I overheard a couple of ICU nurses at an ACLS renewal class plotting to get rid of a fellow new grad RN who they had decided wasn't smart enough. They were upset that their manager didn't feel the same and was protective of this new grad. I was shocked speechless at their behavior. I didn't know them personally as I worked step down nights and they were ICU day shift, but I was disgusted by their behavior. I detected envy that the manager did not listen to them and was protective of the new grad.
I will say that my experiences with most of the ICU nurses on PM's and Nights was positive. We would call them before there was MRT and they were happy to help and never made me feel stupid. They encouraged teamwork and were happy to teach and share there knowledge. It is sad that this was happening on the day shift. There was one problem nurse on nights, who was very smart and good in a code, but alienated new grads due to his own anger issues. Management was well aware of the situation, but I know of at least one nurse who quit because of his behavior. She transferred to our unit and eventually became a successful ICU nurse at another hospital. I did intervene with a new grad whose preceptor did not like her on my unit. She thrived and worked there till retirement.
I wish nurses would choose to be mentors and remember how it felt when they were new grads and had so much to learn! I never forgot how traumatic it was as a new grad working in a hostile work environment because of burnt out nurses who didn't want to help and only wanted to shirk their duties and have the easiest assignment or the outright bullies who simply would take out their own psychological problems onto the new grad. I always was welcoming and would reassure the new nurses to come to me if they had a problem or a question. Unless you were fortunate to have worked as a CNA or intern/extern before graduating, there is a steep learning curve.
Let's try to build a bridge and foster teamwork. Don't let different personalities or life experiences hamper this. If for no other reason than for your own self interest as you will be more likely to work short or be mandated if you are driving the new grads out!
I view this whole problem in a much bigger context. I think it is beneficial to do so.
1. Nursing itself is a quasi-profession subject to significant manipulation from the outside. We want to be a profession but many (majority?) of our members are punching a clock, wearing color-coded clothing, being told if/when we will eat a meal and on what terms and being watched on "dashboards" and tracked in various ways as we try to go about our work with multiple engineered restrictions.
2. This is a role where many enter due to a least some idea of being willing to help others. The role itself is basically that--helping others. Many nurses have some moorings in the ideas of ethics, goodness, kindness, helping, healing, advocating, supporting, etc., etc.
3. The job/profession/role is oddly positioned class-wise. It is a worker-class job and yet it is a major step up for significant numbers of nurses. This is important because it contributes to tolerance, acceptance, and even defense of significantly poor treatment. It also contributes to an overall phenomenon of considering something to be adequate and even great when it's rather poor quality (e.g. our screwball educational situation).
4. We are generally steered this way and that by some faction who stands to gain something: Educational institutions, professional organizations that purport to represent us, government entities and regulatory bodies, and large corporate employers
5. We are simply treated rather poorly in general. THEN....
6. We are told (again, by those who stand to benefit) that what causes most of our woe is lateral (peer) "violence." How convenient.
This is how I see it. #1-5 do not support the conclusion of #6.
Yes, our peer situation has to improve and that will begin when people are willing to take a hard look at their own self-esteem and at the other forces affecting the situation. This is a profession/trade that is highly manipulable and thus highly-manipulated. Some of it is because of the needs and desires of other entities, and some of it is because of who we are/where we come from.
Our peers are not our biggest problem; I would say barely on the radar. Ourselves and much bigger forces (than our direct peers) are the main entities to be examined.
Back to the OP situation: I thought the advice towards introspection was responsible and (should be) helpful. We're talking large debt which, quite frankly, is a situation that many, many people manage to avoid even without being wealthy, and a situation where someone describes rampant bullying in both school and workplace. That is also an issue that many manage to avoid. I think it's completely appropriate to advise taking stock in general. The out of proportion reaction to our advice reinforces my beliefs about the situation (what little we know of it). Not to be weird, but I had hoped my reply was written in a way that might encourage what I see as a completely healthy and helpful mental health behavior, but I was quoted with a reply that seemed rather irate. Blaming whomever is standing closest is a huge factor in our woes in general.
The elephant in the room is that massive student loan debt. That kind of debt will take a LONG time to pay down even under the best of circumstances. At this point I might suggest you go ahead with the NP as planned just for the extra earning potential to work down some of that debt faster.
As for worrying about being bullied as a provider, well I'm sorry but that is most likely going to be a non-issue. Not every workplace is full of bullies, actually I'd guess that not very many actually are. Sure, bullies exist in every line of work including healthcare but to derail a planned career over the fear you might encounter a bully or two seems a bit extreme.
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Here is a link with lots of good, concise info: https://www.quill.com/content/index/resource-center/healthcare/tips-and-tricks/how-to-squash-workplace-bullying-without-bullying-back/default.cshtml
https://workplacebullying.org/2021-wbi-survey/