Gotta good "poop" story? I do.

Nurses General Nursing

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Once upon a time, when I was a young, energetic nurse I admitted a handsome, young executive type...very good looking and about my age. I felt he was a little embarrassed for me to be admitting him and asking him such personal questions about, you know, his bowel patterns and such. However, I remained professional and we got through the admission. His admitting diagnosis was bowel related and I had an order to do an occult stool. Soooooooo, I asked in my most professional tone that he save his next bowel movement for the nurses to check and I placed a hat in the commode.

A couple of hours went by when his call light came on. When I entered his room, his face was very red. He had had a bowel movement and had saved it for me. I thanked him and entered the BR. There sitting in the middle of the hat was the perfect turd -- it looked just like a Dairy Queen large, chocolate cone -- even with the little curly-q on top! :chuckle It was hilarious. Of course, my professionalism when out the door and I teased him unmercifully. He ended up having a great sense of humor, thank God!

Also, anyone ever have any experiences with exploding colostomy bags in the middle of the night after housekeeping has gone home? Just wondering. I have. :wink2:

had a pt who would collect her poop and roll it into large balls and put in her display cabinet.

non nursing my daughter when a toddler did a poop in a tonka dump truck in back yard because her mother refered to to doing a poop as having a dump

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Specializes in Pediatrics, Metabolic genetics, Neuro.

I had to float to the ER on Halloween of all nites. And lucky me, I got the 350 pound, 50 yr. old woman c/o abdominal pain who hadn't had a BM in 4 days. The doc ordered an enema (of course), something we seldom did in the PICU. I dutifully admistered this, and was somehow able to get a fracture pan underneath her. She said she was done, and could finish in the bathroom, however, when I was helping her get up, she had explosive diarrhea that covered me from the knees down...into my shoes, my socks, I was absolutely squishy....

I decided that this was some sort of test of will- not reacting by screaming, "EWWWWWWW-GROSSSSS!!!!" I got her up into a wheelchair, her husband was laughing (i was not) and helped her to the bathroom, while everyone in the hallway was whispering, "what's that smell?" I had to take off my shoes, socks, change into new scrubs, and when I asked the nursing assistant to help, he replied, "my shift doesn't start for 5 minutes." So, I left the mess for him to clean up, took my bag of stuff, had the hospital buy me new shoes, and warned the ER staff that I'd never some back if they did this to me again.

They didn't!:D

Bobbie

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Specializes in ER,Neurology, Endocrinology, Pulmonology.

1. (not in the hospital) My father in law gets realyl anxious if he or someone else is really sick.

When he was young he came home one night, had bm and noticed that it was all burgundy red. Immedicately, he decided that he had been stricken with some fatal desease.

He ran out in the kitchen and yelled to his wife to call his best friend who was a doctor. while the wife was on the phone, my FIL passed out and hit his head on the cabinet. when the doc-friend arrived, FIL was lying in a pool of blood, with his pants down.

Turns out, FIL ate a bunch of beets the day before. The reason why he fell, was because he became so anxious, that he hyperventilated. He ended up with a scrape on his head, but apparently everyone in the family laughs to this day about that day.:rolleyes:

2. My very first job in the hospital was cleaning up ptnt's rooms and bathrooms. One day I walked into the bathroom and I swear - the WHOLE bathroom was covered with greenish black stool. I even had to scrub the ceiling. It was almost as if the patient took off the pants, stood in the doggy style position, then got spinned on the centrifuge, while shooting out streams of poop.

I tied a towel around my face, and then cleaned the bathroom.

The next day Iw alked into the bathroom and it looked the same way again. I wanted to jump out of the window that day!

If there is hell, i think it looks and smells like that bathroom lol

3. My phlebotomy instructor told us a funny story today - when she worked in LTC, they had a little old lady there, who thought she was inside a grocery store. She would come to the nurses post and say " Ya'll are doin ah greeeat jaob!"

Then she would say " comere, comere, comere for a second, sweetie" She would take a nurse in a corner and then poop herself there.

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All these poop stories are too funny. I have one thats not related to nursing. My 2 month old neice and her mom came to visit. Of course during the visit the baby had a bm. Being the "great aunt"

that I am I volunteered to change her. I pulled back the diaper and to my surprise she wasnt finished. She let out a grunt like a grown man, and with the force of a tornado came this explosen of poop! I looked down and it was all over me, and even shot across the room about 6 ft. It was unbelieveable. And what a mess to clean up. But she sure felt better. And was such a happy baby afterwards.=lol:chuckle :kiss

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Specializes in Med/Surg.

i just love lactulose poop or how about c-diff poop. It is a smell you will never forget.

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Specializes in Critical Care, Emergency, Infusion.

Just thought I would let you know today a co-worker and I were reading these posts and laughing so hard we were crying. About that time my boss brought about 15 nursing students into our cath lab for a tour. I tried to straighten up and act like a professional, but it was impossible. I just clicked off the computer and went into another room. The students were looking at us like we were nuts. . .oh well...:chuckle

I have another poop story. My friend D. is the manager of the ED. He told me the other night they brought in two Mexicans who could not speak a work of English and both had been involved in a MVA and had head lacerations with concussions. While one was waiting for the doc to stitch him up, he was trying to tell his nurse that he needed something. She just could not figure out what he was trying to say. Finally, she realized he was wanting to walk to the BR. Well, with his head injury, he couldn't do that! So she brought him a urinal. He looked at it and started to speak animatedly, but she just told him he was just going to have to pee in the urinal, so get over it, and she stepped around the curtain to let him to do his duty.

A few minutes later she returned. He was lying back on the cart being quiet. She bent over to pick the urinal up to empty it when to her surprise, inside the urinal was a turd the size of a small loaf of bread! The lid was on it and there was no other mess. (What he used to wipe with, we have no idea, so we're kind of guessing he didn't. . .Ewwwwwww!) :uhoh21: To hear D. tell it is hilarious.

Everyone have a great night!

Sherri

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Specializes in geriatrics,wound care,hospice.

got home from work tonight, the boy up with an asthma attack-do we ever really punch out from work? :rolleyes: and in order to help relax him after a couple of puffers, we sat down to read mom's favorite website. how lucky could i get to find this topic!:chuckle stories too numerous to recount here, but we have come up with a term for when everyones laxatives work on the same shift at the same time-code brown, hall 2, code brown hall 2 :chuckle :roll :chuckle ;) . i just love this site, and now my son knows what nurses find so fascinating about poop-everything!

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Okay folks I hold my hand on a bible and have witnesses to the following poop story is complety true.

I work in The ED of my hospital and we get a frequent flier who is the most disgusting woman in the world. first a brief history about this patient. When she is not admitted to our hospital whe is in our ER constantly. She has had two respiratory arrests in the last year and smokes about three packs a day while on O2 at 4L a minute. She has a colostomy and when it is full she throws it on the floor. She constantly calls 911 when she runs out of colostomy bags or is drug seeking. Smokes in her room when she is admitted while on oxygen and the floor nurse litearely pay other nurses to put her on their assignment. Okay now on to the poop story!

A fellow nurse asked me and the paramedic to start a IV on this lady since she has awful access. I was on one arm and the medic was on the other. All of a sudden we hear a awful grumbling sound from the patient. The medic and I looked at each other and he said "I think she is perculating" all of sudden we hear a gush like someone pouring a pitcher of water. I looked down and saw a HUGE amount of watery putrid smelling stool dripping of the bed onto my shoes and off of her heels. I asked the medic to get some help and of course the nurses were all "involved" So the medic and I were trying to clean her upand change her johhny. she was literally coverd from head to toe. When I took her johnny off I found a pack of cigarettes in her bra. I said "you really dont need these" and grabbed the pack and turned to place them on the table. When I turned back around i caught a slap on my face from the patient. Did I mention that her hand was covered in watery putrid stool. I was stunned and turned and walked to the scrub sink and stuck my head underneath. Then I did something that I never did in my 10 years of nursing. I woofed my cookies.

I must say that was the most disgusting thing I have ever lived through. The next time I see this patient I will buy her a carton of unfiltered cigarretts.:imbar

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Rule # 1:

You must wear safety glasses and face shield if you are cleaning a Pt's behind and you are stupid enough to try to see what you are doing when you lift the right cheek and the Pt. is full of gas/diarrhea.

Rule #2:

Do Not Talk during this procedure.

(I thought my co-worker was gonna lose her lunch when she saw MY face while I worried about how I was gonna get it off :eek: and then explain it to the I.C. staff...... :imbar: :uhoh21:

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shootemrn --- I think I AM going to toss my cookies after reading that.

HEATHER, where is that puking smiley????

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Specializes in jack of all trades, master of none.

OMG, I am totally LMAO. These are too funny. Even my 13 yr old is strangely fascinated. Colleen, I had a similar problem years ago after a visit to Pizza Hut. How embarrassing, thank God, no one saw me. Also, when I was about 7, my mom was in the bathroom, reading, of course, LOL. I had to GO, & bad. None of the neighbors were home, so I did the next best thing, I dumped out my giant plastic frog toy box & used that. With my 7 year old logic, I figured she would be less mad b/c it would be easier to clean the plastic than my pants. Boy, was I wrong!!!!

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Here's my fav poop story, a PCT I used to work with worked in LTC. ONe of her favorite pts wasn't eating well, and was losing wt, so the dr ordered a calorie count, and asked everyone to encourage the pt to eat. The PCT went in to pick up her dinner tray after she had eates, and the pt had put metal dome back over her plate. The

PCT asked her, " Now, Miss Mary, did you eat a good supper?" "Yes, mam, I sure did!" "Are you sure?" " Yes , I am sure" " Now Miss Mary, you know I hace to checked your tray to make sure you ate a good supper!" " Yes,mam, I know , you just go ahead and check!" So the PCT lifts up the dome, and on top of the food was an enormas POOP! She said the pt laughed at her for days!! :chuckle

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