Gotta good "poop" story? I do.

Nurses General Nursing

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Once upon a time, when I was a young, energetic nurse I admitted a handsome, young executive type...very good looking and about my age. I felt he was a little embarrassed for me to be admitting him and asking him such personal questions about, you know, his bowel patterns and such. However, I remained professional and we got through the admission. His admitting diagnosis was bowel related and I had an order to do an occult stool. Soooooooo, I asked in my most professional tone that he save his next bowel movement for the nurses to check and I placed a hat in the commode.

A couple of hours went by when his call light came on. When I entered his room, his face was very red. He had had a bowel movement and had saved it for me. I thanked him and entered the BR. There sitting in the middle of the hat was the perfect turd -- it looked just like a Dairy Queen large, chocolate cone -- even with the little curly-q on top! :chuckle It was hilarious. Of course, my professionalism when out the door and I teased him unmercifully. He ended up having a great sense of humor, thank God!

Also, anyone ever have any experiences with exploding colostomy bags in the middle of the night after housekeeping has gone home? Just wondering. I have. :wink2:

Specializes in Clinical Risk Management.

These stories are incredible! More than 7 lbs? Law, and one that half-filled a bedside commode?! One as big as a soccer ball? YIKES! Now that's one where I'd expect the patient to ask if it was a boy or a girl.

Thanks for the laugh!

Joy

Once a long long time ago I had a 400#er, of the female variety:eek: Admitted for dx; R/O Bowel Obstruction. Abdomen very distended (Very Hard to tell on this patient!) When palpated, I could feel bowel that was round and hard, and could practically grab a section. Abdominal series showed feces throughout large and small bowel. Well after 24hr Observation, it was time to attempt disimpaction:eek: She had two doses of Magnesium Citrate, four fleets enemas(2 regular, and 2 Oil retention) and as a topper 2- HHH enemas (H-igh, H-ot, H-eck of a lot) with very little return. Began by inserting two fingers, then three, and eventually my entire hand, eureka :uhoh21: began having significant return, rolled patient on her back on bedpan, after about 5min. Patient states, "I can feel it getting on me!" Turned her on her side, bedpan full to the rim:eek: cleaned her bottom and padded rectum, while I emptied first bedpan. Returned and replaced bedpan under patient, about 5min elapsed again and she informed me it was getting on her again. Emptied second bedpan using same procedure, and replaced her on bedpan for the third time, I sumised this should be the last one, went to answer another call light in my section, and was on the way back to check this impacted lady's progress, her light came on, I walked into room and there was doo doo ca ca poo poo from about midline of bed all the way to the foot of the bed. I really didn't measure it or weigh it, the best estimate I could muster was approximately 25# of poo poo:crying2: This particular case was the motivation for obtaining a specialty other than Med/Surg.:chair:

Isn't it amazing how much poop can be in there without the person exploding!!!! I love it when you finally disimpact someone and the next few shifts you are off and someone gives the pt. lomotil or Kao-Pectate or something like that. Isn't that how this problem started in the first place???????

Ahhhhhhh the good old poopsies!! :roll

I really like the 'Hansel and Gretel' type of shit, you know the type where they leave a trail...and not the breadcrumbs type either!.....often a good way to find wandering demented patients too I have found quite a few this way......:chuckle

One story that comes to mind is one morning whilst getting out a shatted all over himself dementia patient with another nurse, we were flat out and quickly transfered him onto the commode chair........andway as she was wheeling him off with him doing a 'Hansel and Gretel' on us, I was bundling up all the soiled linen and then proceeded to squirt Methylated spirits to clean the mattress and in walked a professor with his med studets, he knew us nurses well and he just burst out laughing at the scene that was unravelling before him......his med students were mortified at the amount of shat all over the place, and after he composed himself after this hystericaly funny scene he turned to the students and said 'Well this is the reality of the trenches'....... this still makes me and my fellow friend nurse laugh, you had to see it........:cool:

Hehehehe what about those Coprophilliacs, even better the ones that Coprophagia........yummy!!

Now theres a good pick up line....."Im a coprologist, let me have a dig around and see what I come up with".......:chuckle

once, many moons ago, (a full one no doubt}, a dementia patient wandered off from our ecf. we didn't even know she was gone until the convenience store next door called. appearently, an elderly confused women was wandering about the store in a gown...........which she just lifted up and pooped on the bread rack.........lr:chuckle :eek:

Had been off for a few days ...my co-workers,knowing how I love "unique poop"...told me of a pt who was having "silver stools"....I said "yeah right"...so,when the pt called for the bedpan,Iwent to her room anticipating the arrival of the alleged silver stool. Sure enough,her poop resembled chrome...it was shiny silver...I got a sample and sent it to the pathologist who started to freak,even called UPS to send it to DUKE University to have afriend of his look into the cause of the stool being shiny. I went back to the pts room, and we just started talking about life in general. I complimenetd her in being able to keep her lipstick in place all day..she said " I don't wear lipstick" I said,"well it looks like you are wearing lipstick,your lips are pink" She said, "well I don't wear lipstick,never have. I giuess the color comes from this..."....she reached into her bedside table...with the explanation... "my dentures have always made my gums sore and I've been putting this medicine on my gums for more than 30 years" ...she produced a bottle of mercurochrome...

:eek: I called the pathologist and he came and talked to the patient...we the had to do the "heavy metal " labs and sure enough,she had toxic level of mercury in her system....what is the saying "mad as a hatter"?...yeppers...she was on another plane of existence...but at least she was pleasant.

Post script... Duke University found high level of mercury in stool sample...duh... :rolleyes: ...they wanted her to be studied in the name of science....luckily the pathologist said "no"...she said "hell no" they even wanted her after demise for research...:rolleyes:

Silver poop? Wild!

Many years ago working in rehab, my tech and I had the questionable pleasure of giving a SSE to an elderly lady who hadn't had a BM in "weeks". So armed with the bucket, fluid, K-Y jelly, gloves, gowns and shoe covers we started the deed. The patient was on her side and all seemed to be going well when she screamed "I can't take any more"!!! With that she immediately gave a good grunt. All I could do at that point was watch as I saw a perfect parabola of poop arc across the room and land directly on my techs' gown! It looked as though she was being bombed! Someone else pointed out that it's awfully hard to apologise when you're laughing your a-- off!!!! It's so hard to maintain that 'professional edge' sometimes!:roll

Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

This is not nursing related but I have a cute one. My ds was potty training at 2.....and it was HECK getting him to poop in his potty.....matter of fact, he went 2 or 3 days before finally having to go. When he did, he screamed from the bathroom:

********"MOMMY COME QUICK...I MADE A SNAIL!!!!" ******** And sure enuf, was a snail-like black turd in his potty...it was too funny. From that point on, til he was like 6, he used to tell us he had to "make snails" in order to ask to use the bathroom.....a fairly nice euphemism when in public!!!!:devil:

Specializes in Neuro Critical Care.

Very funny stories...only nurses could appreciate.

I had a pt who was scheduled for a colonoscopy so we did the enema and bowel prep liquid the night before. Trick was this woman had no control over her anal sphincter due to a spinal cord injury. Not only could she not tell when she was going, she couldn't control it. I will never forget watching her walk down the hall, turning around to tell me she "had a problem". The problem was diarrhea running down her leg onto the floor. Isn't nursing fun?

These stories are why i no longer work on Med Surg. I see enough of it on labor and delivery for my liking.

Ahhhhh, Poop de la Poo Poo. Yes, I was known as the rectal pouch Queen at one time. Had my technique perfected: heat in microwave for 15 seconds, apply stomapaste to edge, stomahesive to buttocks, apply wafter while warm, paper tape to edges and SQUEEZE butt cheeks together for 3 minutes. They NEVER came off or leaked. :D

Debbie - you remind me of my potty training with my daughter. She's the one you may hear in a public bathroom yelling "MOMMY, I HAD A BOWEL MOVEMENT, PLEASE COME AND WIPE ME, IT'S GREEN." :imbar

Specializes in Med-Surg, Long Term Care.

I posted this poop story on the "What freaks you out" thread https://allnurses.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=2717&perpage=20&display=&pagenumber=1 back in January and it is so similar to st4304's post that I thought I'd repeat it here.

I was a new nurse working Med/Surg and was changing the diaper of an elderly CVA patient with the help of a PCT. It took us a LOOOOONG time to change his stool-filled diaper and all the bedding. We finally got him cleaned up and were replacing his diaper when, suddenly, stool started coming out like Dairy Queen soft-serve. Definitely not wanting to start the cleaning process over, I quickly shoved my cupped (gloved) hands beneath his orifice and caught the extruding mass. I promise you, there was practically a curlicue on top! I then heaved it in the trash can while trying not to gag. :eek: :rolleyes: :stone

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