Gotta good "poop" story? I do.

[st4304]

Once upon a time, when I was a young, energetic nurse I admitted a handsome, young executive type...very good looking and about my age. I felt he was a little embarrassed for me to be admitting him and asking him such personal questions about, you know, his bowel patterns and such. However, I remained professional and we got through the admission. His admitting diagnosis was bowel related and I had an order to do an occult stool. Soooooooo, I asked in my most professional tone that he save his next bowel movement for the nurses to check and I placed a hat in the commode.

A couple of hours went by when his call light came on. When I entered his room, his face was very red. He had had a bowel movement and had saved it for me. I thanked him and entered the BR. There sitting in the middle of the hat was the perfect turd -- it looked just like a Dairy Queen large, chocolate cone -- even with the little curly-q on top! :chuckle It was hilarious. Of course, my professionalism when out the door and I teased him unmercifully. He ended up having a great sense of humor, thank God!

Also, anyone ever have any experiences with exploding colostomy bags in the middle of the night after housekeeping has gone home? Just wondering. I have. :wink2:

[OBNURSEHEATHER]

I work with babies, so all of my poop stories are pretty mundane. Did find a cool smiley though!

Heather

[RNinICU]

I got pulled to a med surg floor one night, and during first rounds, discovered an awful smell in one patients room. The bed was full of liquid stool, and the lady was covered from her waist down, even between her toes. There was poop all over the side rails, and a atrail of poop to the bathroom. There were footprints in the poop. In the bathroom, there was poop in the sink, on the floor, and all over the sides of the commode. She must have started to go in the bed, got up to go into the BR, pooping all the way, then tried to go in the sink instead of the commode. She stepped in it going back to bed, then just climbed back into the messy bed. Her husband, who was spending the night with her because she was confused, was sleeping in a chaiar by the bed, and slept through the whole thing. It took me an hour to clean it up, with no help from the floor staff. I have refused to go back to that floor ever since.

Another time I was putting a lady back into bed with a hoyer lift. The pad had slipped, so there was just the sling under the patient. As we were lifting her out of the chair, she started to go, and it came through the webbing of the sling. It looked like play dohbeing extruded through a mold. We could not stop laughing. Was a heck of a mess to clean up.

[live4today, RN]

The funniest poop story I have is when I worked pediatrics. I walked into a ten month old patients room to see him painting the walls on the other side of his crib with his poop. The rails already had a nice coat of poop on them, so perhaps he thought the walls deserved a little attention, too. He also had enough to cover his legs, his face, his hair, his arms and hands; the cribsheet, and the blanket. His mother hadn't arrived for his am care, so one of the medics ended up giving him his bath. I wouldn't touch that crib or child with a ten foot pole UNLESS I had no one else to delegate the delicate tasks to. :chuckle

[colleen10]

to tell you my poop story and it's not about a patient, it's about me......

One bright warm summer day when I was in high school my mother and I went down to the local Pizza Hut to have a pizza for dinner. We ate there and when we were done my mom asked if I minded stoping off at PharxMor before we went home so she could pick up a few things.

When we got to the store I walked in with her but I immediately started to feel nauseated and told her that I was going back out to the car. She said that she would hurry up and see me at the car.

So, I make it to the car and I'm sitting inside and I'm still very nauseated and I begin to get intestinal cramps. I felt pretty lousy but thought nothing urgent was eminent when all of a sudden I crapped myself. There was no warning and absolutely nothing I could do to stop it. Unfortunately, it was of the liquid variety. I started to panic and from behind the seat I grabbed a paper bag to sit on and then I looked in my purse and grabbed some feminine napkins and started shoving them down my shorts.

After a minute or two my mother comes out to the car and opens up her door and takes a big step back and goes "Whoooo", obviously due to the smell. She then looks at me and realizes what has happened and just starts cracking up which made me start to crack up. The two of us just laughed and laughed for probably 5 minutes before we were calmed down enough for her to get into the car and drive home.

Then the next step was to get from the car inside the house.

As I started walking up the pathway to our house it began to run down my leg and into my shoes because I was wearing Keds without socks.

It was awful. All I could do was run up to the bathroom and undress in the shower.

I'm not trying to be gross but this may happen to each of you at least once in your life and I don't want you to be embarrased.

I still look back at it now and laugh, how embarrasing yet how humbling!

[live4today, RN]

Colleen, bless your heart for sharing that with us. That's a good one to tell your grandchildren one day, too! :)

[OBNURSEHEATHER]

colleen - I know that when we're online we often use the phrase "LOL". But never, ever in my life, have I ever actually been LAUGHING OUT LOUD until now!!!!!

It took guts to share that story! Thanks!

Heather

[rodz1]

As a young student i never understood the nursing assistants fear of Thursday mornings . I plumped up enough courage to ask why ? did the sister come round to inspect the beds ? did the director of nursing inspect the wards ? No the reason being on wednesday nights it was beef curry for the patient Teas and what go's in must come out .

[azgirl]

Doing final rounds in the dementia unit I found a perfect turd on the chair by the bed with a flashlight turned on it. Here it was sitting in the spotlight. What imagination. Sure gave me a good laugh.

[gypsigirl]

I'm in pain from ROFLMAO. I laughed so hard my son came in and read this thread and he was laughing too.

I have a question. Don't get me wrong. I am not afraid of poop. I did my 3 kids poops, my husband died of brain cancer, for several months I took care of his poop, my grandmother had a colostomy for 27 years, whenever she was ill I took care of her poop. So I don't fear the poop to come when I am a nurse. My question is this; I understand that you clean up the pt. But aren't their custodians to clean up the floors, bathroom, walls etc?

I was just curious.

Love this topic.

One more thing. Fedup and Jay, can someone really have 20lbs of poop in them?

[donmurray]

The UK "rule of thumb" is: You get the lumps, they get the stains out!

[donmurray]

I used to visit a lady with dementia who lived in an upstairs room in an old people's home. She often threw poop from her window onto the flowerbeds below. New visitors always admired the roses, and then wondered why the staff cracked up!

One time they found a perfectly formed stool on top of this lady's wardrobe, she denied all knowledge, of course, and blamed the staff, since she was too short, and would have needed to stand on a chair to put it there!

[aimeee, BSN, RN]

One of my first poop experiences is still one of the most memorable. Had an elderly resident with dementia in LTC. The volunteers had made decorations for all the doors out of paper plates. As we were working our way down our hall this resident came shuffling out her door, her handbag over her arm, stockings down about her ankles, and holding this paper plate, absolutely mounded with poop. Looked like a plate of brownies!