Discussion

Going Back to Basics

Oct 27, 200817 yr

Guides

You know how sometimes when you're tired and confused and you can no longer figure out which end is up, then you suddenly have a moment of clarity that's like a light bulb just switched on in your head? Happened to me yesterday.

I've been looking for a new job ever since I decided to blow this pop stand of an ALF I'm running; regretfully, because of the lousy economy there's a hiring freeze on in hospice, which is the only place I really WANT to be, so I needed to find something else fast. My last day here is Friday, and I am not one who likes to leave a place without having another job lined up.

Then yesterday---in the shower, of all places---it hit me that what I really needed to do while waiting was to get back to basics, to remind myself of what I went into nursing for and to take responsibility for myself and my own practice instead of worrying about everyone else's. What I wanted was a job where I could do my eight hours or so and go home, have a life outside of work, update some of my actual nursing skills, and get paid by the hour.................just like I did before I was a manager.

SO this morning I went and visited some old, old friends at the nursing home where I first worked as a CNA student 15 years ago, and I asked them for a job as a staff nurse. Yes, I said, I know my resume makes me look vastly overqualified, and I know I make a lot of money, but that's why I won't be any trouble as an employee and at my age, money isn't as important as it used to be when my kids were growing up.

As it turns out, they offered me a 32-hour-a-week evening shift position which is half meds and treatments on skilled, and half charge on the ICF unit. The wages are better than most nursing homes---certainly enough for my needs---and I get health insurance even before I start as long as I get my paperwork in by the end of this week. I've already got Thanksgiving off, and best of all, I won't have to be on-call 24/7 anymore.

I start Monday at 2 PM. I am inordinately happy about all of this.

Oct 27, 200817 yr

:yeah: funny how things work out hu? Glad to hear you are going somewhere you WANT to be!

I, personally, have never ever ever wanted to go into management at all. For the reasons you posted. I WANT to do bedside nursing. That is the whole reason for me ever wanting to be a nurse in the first place. I love bedside.

Welcome back to the other side of the bed nursing. I'm sure you will love it.

Oct 27, 200817 yr

:igtsyt::balloons::ancong!:

It looks like you found a place where you will make a difference, and hopefully won't get caught up in management and corporate male bovine fertilizer.

Oct 27, 200817 yr

Congrats Marla.

Oct 27, 200817 yr

Based on the numerous posts you shared, I know you were so frustrated. And to obtain what you need in this economy right now is a blessing. Run there, have your life back and be happy!

Oct 27, 200817 yr

good to hear, marla!

give them old folks a great, big hug for me.:redpinkhe

leslie

Oct 27, 200817 yr

Good for you! It's funny how things work out somehow.

Oct 27, 200817 yr

I hope you'll be very happy there,Marla. BTW we're looking for a new manager...but I suppose it would be a bit far to commute!!:chuckle:chuckle

Oct 28, 200817 yr

Author
Guides

Yeah.......that's just too long of a drive for me!

Thanks, y'all. It feels funny, voluntarily returning to being a worker-bee after several years in management, but it IS what I want. I have been on-call 24/7 for almost three straight years---for the first time in ages, my time will be ALL my own. No more middle-of-the-night phone calls, no scheduling/staffing headaches, no sweating bullets when survey walks in the door, no refereeing inter-shift rivalries........ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

I KNEW there was a reason why I never got rid of my scrubs.........I almost did, about a year ago when I passed my second anniversary at my former ALF, but some instinct told me I'd better hang onto 'em for a little longer. Now that I'm going back to something old and familiar, I'm glad I kept the old and familiar!

I was asking a nurse friend of mine, who's also been a DNS as well as CEO of her own agency at one time, if this is the fabled 'midlife crisis' I've heard so much about. She's 51 and happier than she's ever been since she gave up management for a staff nurse position in home health. She said that when we reach this stage of life, we find that we're no longer willing to give up whole chunks of ourselves for our jobs; suddenly, being 'successful' has less to do with work and more to do with the quality of our lives at home and in the outside world.

Then, when we finally let go of needing to be what she calls "large and in charge", we no longer have to prove ourselves to anyone and we are free to be authentic. Titles and prestige are less important than being at peace with what we are and enjoying our lives as they are. Maybe that's the key to all of this........I only know that I've been desperately unhappy for a good long while now, and I have the feeling that I might just find redemption in this 'temporary' job. (I still want to get into hospice at some point.) Maybe by taking the pressure off myself to find my 'forever job', I can allow myself to take things one day at a time so that work can become joyful for me again.

Besides.........I didn't go to nursing school so I could sit on my butt in endless meetings, push paper, write care plans, discipline subordinates, issue directives and worry night and day about whether staff are carrying them out. I went into this profession to take care of people. That's all I ever wanted to do, ever since I was a little girl.

It's good to be back.

Oct 28, 200817 yr

Congrats. I spent many years in management and when I retired I realized that I missed nursing. I certainly did not miss paper pushing, endless meetings, fussing over schedules, trying to have less hands do even more work.

I smile when I go to work. People who have known me for years say I look much younger. And, oh, by the way did I mention my B/P is normal, as is my cholesterol.

Enjoy nursing, again. :up: :yeah: :yeah: :yeah: :yeah: :yeah: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: