should i give up my nursing career?

sad · Sep 19, 2004

hello
i can really use an advice. i am a new graduate lpn and i'm so stressed out at work. no nurses wanted to orientate me so they keep pushing me to another nurse to another nurse and i ended up being orientating with one nurse who was willing to orientate me, but now she is getting impatient with my stupidicity. one day i heard her saying to another nurse that she has only few more days to orientate me. on top of being so overwhelmed with the work and not knowing what the hell i'm doing, i feel like such a burden. i just hate going to work knowing i'm nothing but a burden. on top of that i have no idea what the hell i'm doing. i feel so stupid for not knowing what i'm doing. i cant do anything independently, i keep clinging to my preceptor to tell me what to do, i can't make any decisions for myself on what to do with my patients. all i can do is just take orders from my preceptor and just do what she told me to do. sometimes my preceptor would tallk to other nurses about what i did wrong when i'm in front of her listening to her converstation so i can feel even more stupid. i cant blame anybody or my preceptor for my stress. i can understand why they are frustrated. whenver i dont know anything i cant say "uhh because i just graduated". i know they expect me to have a basic skills that i have to able to practice independently without asking for help all the time. during the whole shift, i keep asking myself "why am i doing this?". and i tell myself that i've chosen a wrong career and i should give up nursing. i just cant take this any more. i think i'm not meant to become a nurse and i know i can never provide a safe care to my patients. i just know i cant handle this job and i know i cant never handle the responsiblity of my patients. there is nobody at my work who i can openly talk to someone about this because i know i'm not wanted there and i dont want to talk to my supervisor about this because i feel like i'm whinning and i feel like i want people to pity me and i dont want any pity from anybody. should i quit the nursing career? i dont know how to decide whether i should try a little more or i should say enough is enough and i should let it go. please help!!!

no, i do not think you should quit. you made it through lpn school with clinicals and you passed nclex satisfactorily. maybe with another employer and work enviornment, people will teach you.

Town & Country · Sep 19, 2004

i can really use an advice. i am a new graduate lpn and i'm so stressed out at work. no nurses wanted to orientate me so they keep pushing me to another nurse to another nurse and i ended up being orientating with one nurse who was willing to orientate me, but now she is getting impatient with my stupidicity. one day i heard her saying to another nurse that she has only few more days to orientate me. on top of being so overwhelmed with the work and not knowing what the hell i'm doing, i feel like such a burden. i just hate going to work knowing i'm nothing but a burden. on top of that i have no idea what the hell i'm doing. i feel so stupid for not knowing what i'm doing. i cant do anything independently, i keep clinging to my preceptor to tell me what to do, i can't make any decisions for myself on what to do with my patients.

stop beating yourself up! you're in orientation - that's what this is for! you aren't supposed to be able to work independently yet! you just got out of school!

all i can do is just take orders from my preceptor and just do what she told me to do. sometimes my preceptor would tallk to other nurses about what i did wrong when i'm in front of her listening to her converstation so i can feel even more stupid.

what? :angryfire that is unprofessional and uncalled for. stand up for yourself (one of the most important lessons in nursing) and request another preceptor!

i cant blame anybody or my preceptor for my stress.

oh yes, you can! she should know better!

i can understand why they are frustrated. whenver i dont know anything i cant say "uhh because i just graduated". i know they expect me to have a basic skills that i have to able to practice independently without asking for help all the time. during the whole shift, i keep asking myself "why am i doing this?". and i tell myself that i've chosen a wrong career and i should give up nursing. i just cant take this any more. i think i'm not meant to become a nurse and i know i can never provide a safe care to my patients. i just know i cant handle this job and i know i cant never handle the responsiblity of my patients. there is nobody at my work who i can openly talk to someone about this because i know i'm not wanted there and i dont want to talk to my supervisor about this because i feel like i'm whinning and i feel like i want people to pity me and i dont want any pity from anybody. should i quit the nursing career? i dont know how to decide whether i should try a little more or i should say enough is enough and i should let it go. please help!!!

asking questions is what you are supposed to be doing now! this preceptor is doing you a tremendous disservice by making you ashamed.

the longer you are a nurse, the more questions you will ask!

never let anyone make you feel "stupid" for asking questions!

you are not supposed to be able to function independently ~ it her her job to precept you and she is setting a terrible example!

i cannot stress this to you enough: never stop asking questions!

if they don't like it, that's just too {bleep} bad!

begalli · Sep 19, 2004

Hi graduatenurse,

I don't think you should give up either. I think what you're going through is completely normal (sans the non-support from your preceptors).

I remember when I was a new grad. I felt like a complete fraud. As a new new nurse you go through so many different feelings. The real life is so much different than school!

Hang in there...It takes time. You might want to pick up this book and start reading right away. You aren't the first to feel like this.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/offer-listing/020100299X//102-0231410-4592170?condition=all

Good Luck!

movealong · Sep 19, 2004

Ideally, your preceptor should be helping you and directing you to making decisions on your own.

You should be talking over any certain situation and discuss it in a way that involves a decision making process based on the factors at hand. I feel I'm not being clear. What I am trying to say, is rather than your preceptor telling you "yes" or "no" to a question about a certain aspect of care, she should be asking you questions that lead you down a path to a decision, where you get to see the logic behind it, what reasons and factors are used. If you learn that process, the next time the same question (or a similair question) comes up, you will know the process on how to arrive at a decision yourself. That's what teaching is.

It's been my own personal experience that nobody learns well if they are made to feel inadequate. That is most certainly what precepting is not supposed to be about.

LadyMadonna · Sep 20, 2004

Ideally, your preceptor should be helping you and directing you to making decisions on your own.
You should be talking over any certain situation and discuss it in a way that involves a decision making process based on the factors at hand. I feel I'm not being clear. What I am trying to say, is rather than your preceptor telling you "yes" or "no" to a question about a certain aspect of care, she should be asking you questions that lead you down a path to a decision, where you get to see the logic behind it, what reasons and factors are used. If you learn that process, the next time the same question (or a similair question) comes up, you will know the process on how to arrive at a decision yourself. That's what teaching is.
It's been my own personal experience that nobody learns well if they are made to feel inadequate. That is most certainly what precepting is not supposed to be about.

Whenever I was orientating I felt like a burden too. I would come up to the nurse I was assigned to work with and I would see the look of "$#%^ I have to deal with you today???" on her face. She would try to be nice to me but I wasn't that stupid. I felt like a creep.

RNtoJD · Sep 20, 2004

Hi there. If it makes you feel any better, I have been an RN for 8 years now and just recently I started a new job and I am going through a lot of what you describe. Just today, my preceptor snapped at me for a mistake that I hadn't even made yet (and wasn't about to) she just assumed that I was going to give a bunch of meds that I wasn't familar with before I looked them up. They weren't even up from Pharmacy yet! Of course, now my Nurse Manager will hear about how I just pass meds out without knowing what they are for or their normal dosages. The day was all downhill from there, since she made me a nervous wreck. She makes me feel like she is waiting for me to make a mistake, instead of expecting me to succeed. Hang in there and don't take it personally. It sounds like more her problem than yours.

zully1 · Sep 20, 2004

Hi Graduatenurse, please dont give up!!!! I also just graduated and tomorrow will be my first day of orientation on the floor. I have to admit that I am a little anxious since this is the "real thing" you know, no more teachers to hold my hand,BUT I also know and everyone knows that just because I'm out of school and have my license does not mean I know it all. If that was the case there wouldnt be orientations or new grad programs. All experienced nurses I've spoken to have told me the only way to get your experience and to get comfortable is by working. So I know I'm going to be asking lots of questions. So dont give up, you're definitely not alone feeling this way. Don't let people who are selfish discourage you, DONT let them have that power over you. So keep trying. Remember "if at first you dont suceed, try, try, again!!!!!!". :kiss

Rustyhammer · Sep 20, 2004

This is a familiar story.

The new nurse is nervous and not very confident and the experienced nurse is not a good preceptor. It is hard to be a good preceptor and your hospital should be choosy who is in that position.

Talk to your DON or charge nurse and let them know like you told us here.

-R

RN4NICU, LPN, LVN · Sep 20, 2004

Hi there. If it makes you feel any better, I have been an RN for 8 years now and just recently I started a new job and I am going through a lot of what you describe. Just today, my preceptor snapped at me for a mistake that I hadn't even made yet (and wasn't about to) she just assumed that I was going to give a bunch of meds that I wasn't familar with before I looked them up. They weren't even up from Pharmacy yet! Of course, now my Nurse Manager will hear about how I just pass meds out without knowing what they are for or their normal dosages. The day was all downhill from there, since she made me a nervous wreck. She makes me feel like she is waiting for me to make a mistake, instead of expecting me to succeed. Hang in there and don't take it personally. It sounds like more her problem than yours.

It never ceases to amaze me how absolutely stupid nurse managers and administrative folks can be. PEOPLE WITH NO PEOPLE SKILLS SHOULD NOT BE PRECEPTORS. When the first person with whom a new employee has consistent interaction is an antisocial deviant, the new employee becomes a bit concerned about the "culture" of the unit as a whole. Rightfully so. The first preceptor I had at my last job was nothing short of a total jacka**. I was assigned to another preceptor, with whom I got along much better. However, the original preceptor's personality was a common one within the unit -- she really just fit right in -- and I could not adapt to the odd little culture that they had going on there, so I left. You really have to "try on" a couple of units, and possibly a couple of facilities, until you find the right fit.

kar212 · Sep 20, 2004

Don't give up!!! I think what you have on your hands is a lousy work environment and new graduate anxiety. Are you working in a hospital? LTC?

I'm appalled that you've been treated this way by preceptors! I would have been incredibly discouraged too if my first job had involved a bunch of really mean nurses. At my previous job, I worked with numerous nursing students and a few new hires. I APPRECIATE working with these people.

I wonder if you'd be better off finding a different job? Or demanding a decent preceptor, one that's not a monster?

Best of luck to you. :nurse:

Ms.RN · Sep 20, 2004

thanks everyone for al your replies

i understand i'm not in nursing school any more where i have time to learn. i'm in the real world now and i'm there to get training for my job to work as a nurse, not there to learn. i do have a problem with learning, i admit. i am not a fast learner. it takes me longer to learn something new than anyone else. i think that is the problem and why it is so frustrating.

do you think its okay to leave the facility after 2 weeks of training for another facility, or do you think they are going to think that i've used them to get my experience? do you think its okay during my interview with my prospect employer about my 2 weeks of training or should i keep my mouth shut? i know my supervisor from my current job is not going to give me a good reference.