No support from my dad (vent) - page 2
Well, I finished my second to last semester today with a big relaxing sigh, and I should be happy but I'm not. I am so frustrated with some of the things my father says to me on the phone. I called... Read More
Dec 17, '04you have been getting some good advice...i know that sharing good news is half the fun but we are here and your classmates know how hard it is sometimes to just squeak by
be noncommittal about school...i know how much of your life it involves but other people just do not see it...
keep one foot in front of the other and they will be out there bragging when you graduate..and we will too
Dec 17, '04I am 47 years old and my parents are the same way. I got an 89% on my midterm and was very upset. The head of our nursing school told me to not mention a grade to my parents, just say that I had one of the highest grades in the class. They were thrilled.
As was said before, no one understands unless they have been a nursing student.
WE love ya!
Dec 17, '04Congradulations on doing a great job Acgemt!!! You are 75% a nurse as someone else posted! I have a dad who constantly makes negative comments on having children. First, umm I'm his child so whats he trying to say? LOL, second though, I look at him and see how his whole life is dominated by work and not just to pay bills, he has more than he needs and still can only think about having more. I know that my life will be dominated by love, family, a job I love, and friends...you did an excellent job and just realize, thats your dad's problem NOT YOURS!!!! Happy holidays!
Dec 17, '04I know how you feel. I decided that I wanted to be a nurse and when I told my dad he said "A nurse? Why? You'll just be wiping people's butt's for the rest of your life." He said I needed to go into insurance b/c they make a lot of money. Not to offend anyone that may have anything to do with insurance, but I wanted to come home from work feeling proud and knowing that I made a difference. Chin up! As said in earlier posts, only nursing students really "get it". Don't stress yourself out trying to impress others and striving for acceptance from someone who obviously doesn't want to give it to you. A nurse is a VERY admirable career and it is very hard.
If nursing was so easy, everyone would be doing it.
Dec 18, '04You've gotten great advice so far and here's my suggestion.
Live and let live. You cannot and will not change your Dad. So accept him for who he is and don't expect accolades from him. I get none from my father or his life and expect none. I just tell them I'm doing very well and leave it at that.
If you try to make your Dad act a certain way, you'll drive yourself nuts.
BTW, congratulations and GREAT JOB!!! :hatparty:
Dec 18, '04Unfortunately, it doesn't matter how well you do, family at times are not your biggest supporters. I think that we spend so much time trying to get approval from those close to us that we forget the most important person...ourselves. Be proud of yourself and if you know that you are only going to get a lukewarm response, don't bother. If they ask why you are not sharing with them, be honest and tell them that although you wish they would be proud of you, it is more important that I am proud of me!
Dec 18, '04When I stopped looking for approval from my parents is when I finally got it. Go figure.
So now that you know that nothing will be good enough, don't give him the power to rain on your well-deserved parade. You might simply tell him when he asks in the future about your grades that you did well and learned a lot. If he doesn't pick up on that subtle hint, give yourself permission to say you don't wish to discuss the subject of grades on principle. Talk about your grade with people who can appreciate all that went into getting it.