Worried about retirement - page 2

I've worked for 24 years at the same hospital, so I built quite a reasonable pension, but still. I'm divorced so I'll have to pay everything myself. So when do I retire? Any other women inhere with... Read More

  1. by   chris_at_lucas_RN
    While it is an intriguing idea, I can't throw his old will away. It would still "exist." Even if I knew where it was. (Probably with the bank books. I don't know where they are either. Or what banks they are for.) (The more I think about this, the worse shape I think I may be in.)

    I actually haven an IRA that my mother started for me a couple of years ago, so that's something. I will be putting everything I can into a retirement account, and also claiming enough deductions that I can have the minimum withheld from my check.

    Since we have never had joint checking accounts (although for about 1-1/2 years I had him as a signor on mine--not any more), my check is protected. LIke you, though, Pat53, I'm not sure what he's going to do when he figures out that I am putting money away for myself.

    My pastor is at least as appalled as I am at this situation. She has known him longer than I have (she was his first wife's pastor--and she also married us in our backyard). She has been encouraging me to take care of myself first.

    I really don't want to leave him, although I like the idea of buying a house and moving into it, and inviting him to come if he wants to. But that's probably what it will be, just an idea.

    Here's what I believe will happen: I will begin working in a couple of weeks. I will let him know how I intend to handle my money. He will moan and fume for a while, and make lots of phone calls to his accountant and search the web, and he will eventually realize that some changes will have to be made in order for him to get what he wants. And then the changes will be made.

    I don't know what I would do if he were spending it all away (however much it is), or if he were taking vacations without me. I think at that point I would be thinking divorce, interviewing all the decent lawyers in the area so they could not represent him (conflict of interest), and selling what I could of the belongings and squirrelling away the money.

    Short of that, finding a "forever roommate" of the platonic variety would probably be very attractive--kind of like the Golden Girls.

    Thank you for your ideas and support. I've got to learn about money.
    Last edit by chris_at_lucas on Jun 23, '04
  2. by   PBAJS
    for many years i thought we good marriage and a good life. back then we enjoyed weekends and trips with the family. he worked and i took care of the house and family. i thought he had everything under control so i didn't ask questions. i did get a job so i wouldn't have to ask for $00 for (whatever).

    he changed when he retired. perhaps he was bored staying around the house so he would shop, spend and take trips?

    "i don't know what i would do if he were spending it all away (however much it is), or if he were taking vacations without me. i think at that point i would be thinking divorce, ... and selling what i could of the belongings and squirrelling away the money."

    at one time i did think about divorcing, but decided against it. when he is away, i have the 'house' to myself, don't have to cook meals for him, can sleep in mornings or take a nap when desired. selling his belongings is not something i would do, he bought it, he can have it. if i was to leave there would be less money that i could squirrel away.

    i expect him to say someday that it's my turn to pay the bills as he had always paid in the past. ok, i might pay half of the household expenses just to be fair, but i will not help to pay his vehicle loan. my two priorities right now are to save for another vehicle someday (my car is seven years old) and funeral expenses.

  3. by   hypnotic_nurse
    I know I'll be working till 70 at least -- another 20 years. No retirement savings prior to my divorce -- I can thank the ex for that ("you don't need any retirement because I'll take care of you"...yeah, right). I'd like to put away 10% of what I make but right now it's more like 5%. But it's a start.
  4. by   warrior woman
    Retirement?? What the hell is THAT??
  5. by   Dixiecup
    I have absolutely 0 retirement. I live paycheck to paycheck and sometimes not even that so I'll probably eat cheap catfood. I'm afraid there won't even be social security. I'm one of those people who never come out smelling like a rose.
  6. by   dianah
    Please just decide to put something away, a little at a time. You can set this up so it comes out before taxes and your paycheck will hardly feel it. You MUST look out for yourself, as the later years roll around all too quickly. Any little amount you squirrel away (I like that term ) WILL add up over time. Educate yourselves on simple investing so you can apply your money wisely. I personally don't trust Social Security. My mom, who worked hard all her life, raising four children by herself (and never put any money aside), is receiving the grand sum of $800 a month. PERIOD. Could you get by on that? Thank goodness she has Medical/Medicare, or her VERY NECESSARY medications would take all of her income. If you are young, heed this and DO start some kind of a savings plan with your next paycheck, after doing your research. Give up a fast food meal or that extra latte once or twice a week. Do it for YOU, you're worth every penny.
    Thanks for listening. Nurses rock!
  7. by   Havin' A Party!
    Quote from Dixiecup
    ... I'm one of those people who never come out smelling like a rose.
  8. by   cannoli
    How do you set something up so that it is before taxes, what type of plans are you referring to?
  9. by   azgirl
    Looks as if I will also be working until I'm 80. But I have seen that the people working longer seem to be doing better mentally and physically. The first six months after retirement do a lot and then become couch potatoes and start living in the past.
  10. by   dianah
    Cannoli: Check to see what your employer offers, first. Ours (County) offered a Deferred Compensation; we could elect to have X amount removed from our paycheck before taxes. It was placed in a certain account (administered first by Aetna and now by ING) and we could designate where the funds would be deposited and accumulate interest (high, moderate or low risk, usually mutual funds).
    However, I recently talked with a friend who also works for the County (in a different department entirely), who said she did some research and decided she could do "better" by discontinuing the Deferred Comp plan and depositing an amount every pay period, on her own. I believe she consulted a financial advisor/counselor type person.
    Dh just pulled his $$ (what little was there!) from his employer-sponsored savings plan and deposited it in a real estate investment plan, suggested by a friend. He's dabbled a little in the stock market (in an area of his expertise) but doesn't care for it.
    I'm sure there are a lot of investing books available for do-it-yourselfers, check out amazon or barnes and noble or your local bookstore. Do you know anyone 1)who would be knowledgeable of investing and 2) whose advice you would trust? I personally would need to purchase something along the lines of "Investing for Idiots," or "Investing for DUH-mmies." Really! lol! Hey, it's taken me this long to just be somewhat aware of some of the options/terms! Never too late to start, though. Good luck.
  11. by   traumaRUs
    I too plan to work until I'm 65 yrs old. However, that is because hubby was in the Air Force for many years and until 8 years ago - I hadn't been able to stay at a job longer than a couple of years. My hospital has a pension and 401k - guess I'm very lucky. Hubby wants to retire at 60 (in 9 years) but since I'm five years younger than him - I'll still be working. We'll see how things go. I feel so sorry for you ladies in such sad circumstances...judi
  12. by   PBAJS
    i had thought that i would retire at age 65 and that my social security amount would be based on my last five or ten years of highest earnings. wrong! i will have to work until the age of 66 and will get less than expected (several years not too long ago, i worked only 8-12 hours per week).

    for your/our information -
    the original social security act of 1935 set the minimum age for receiving full retirement benefits at 65.
    the 1983 amendments phased in a gradual increase in the age for collecting full social security retirement benefits.
    retirement benefits are not figured on the last five years of earnings. 'retirement benefits are calculated on earnings during a lifetime of work under the social security system. for most current and future retirees, we will average your 35 highest years of earnings. if you have less than 35 years of earnings, we do average in years of zero earnings to bring the number of years to 35.'

    if you start your retirement benefits before your 'full retirement age' your benefits will be lower.

    find your full retirement age at http://www.socialsecurity.gov/retirechartred.htm

  13. by   zambezi
    So what is the best way to put money away for retirement...I have to admit, I am soooo bad with my knowledge in this area...since I am young, I have alot of time...but like all of you, I am sure that I will be working into my 60s-70s...I've got a long way to go...Currently, I am putting about about 8% (I actually can't remember now...) percent of each paycheck into a 403B and my employer is matching up to 6%...so I have that...I started when I was 23...Social security will probably be quite different by the time I can use it (or the age limit will be >70...)...Any other ideas that have worked for anyone out there??