Why are the divorce rates among nurses so high?

[TiffanyLe]

THere's been several surveys and studies done on professions with the highest divorce rates. Among bartenders, entertainers and telemarketers, the nursing profession was one of them. Why?

And for those that are not divorced, how do you prevent your relationship from crumbling?

[hiddencatRN, BSN, RN]

You know, 100% of divorces started with marriage...

Well, and no one is talking about the disturbingly high percentage of marriages that end in death.

[NotMyProblem MSN, ASN, BSN, MSN, LPN, RN]

When I was an LPN student, boyfriend left; ADN student, husband left; BSN student, second husband left. Either the men I dated/married were terribly afraid of nurses, (I assure you that I never brought a needle home), or terribly afraid of the thought of a successful woman. I think the latter. Now that the divorce is final, I won't even consider commitment until I'm at the top of MY ladder.

[OB-nurse2013, BSN, RN]

Wow I dont normally reply in this section, since Im still a student, but Im 4 weeks from graduating and going through a divorce

[OB-nurse2013, BSN, RN]

Now now, let's not turn this into a male bashing thread. Our grandfathers took plenty of BS from our grandmothers too.

Youre right and I still watch my grandparents kiss and they hold hands..When my grandpa is in the hospital he wont let my grandma leave his side..I think people just dont look at marriage the way they used to..divorce was not an option-you worked on things and fixed things instead of just easily throughing it aside

[HippyDippyLPN]

I am not surprised if the rates are higher among nurses...my husband and I married very young after the birth of our son and in the midst of me starting my LPN career. Weathering all the changes that nursing brought upon my personality and the fact that we naturally changed from when we were late teenagers almost broke our marriage. I, as others have said, had nothing left to give once I got home from work. But I am lucky enough to have a man who sat patiently by my side giving me time to figure myself out before I could even begin to deal with our marriage. I learned the hard way to just leave work at work. I do vent to my husband, he is a mechanic so all my work stories are weirdly interesting to him lol, but I don't carry my stress home. I will be honest my nursing career has had to take a back seat to keep us a happy healthy family. My husband makes more than me and carries insurance so I have to work around his schedule which has led to me having to switch jobs more than my liking. I only work PRN and am using this time to bridge to RN while my children are still toddlers. I do get moments where I think damn I wish I could work full time and have the job I really want...but it will come in due time. My youngest will graduate HS when I am 42 so I will have plenty of time after that to be super nurse but that fact is the reason I am ok with not necessarily working where I want too right now. I am down right SHOCKED my husband and I have made it as far as we have, we had a lot of odds stacked against us that I have seen people divorce for less. I think what makes us tick is laughter. We both have the humor of 12 year old boys. We are the only people who find each other funny. And he is my exact opposite so what one lacks the other one is strong in. It works, I don't know why, but I am unbelievably grateful it does. I can't imagine my life without him and I know when I graduate from my RN bridge program he will be the one cheering for me the loudest : )

[TiffanyLe]

Thanks for your responses everybody. I'd like to revisit this topic and ask you.....if you had to do it differently with your failed relationships, what would you do differently?

[Blue Roses]

I'm getting married in about a month. Nurses really need to marry people who are EXTREMELY good listeners. Nurses also need partners who watch out for your physical and mental health, because I know as a nurse I'm so focused on other peoples' health I sometimes neglect my own. My fiance is always watchful for signs that my health issues are getting out of control again, and he's not afraid to remind me that I can't care for others without caring for myself as well.

[LadyFree28, BSN, LPN, RN]

I'm getting married in about a month. Nurses really need to marry people who are EXTREMELY good listeners. Nurses also need partners who watch out for your physical and mental health because I know as a nurse I'm so focused on other peoples' health I sometimes neglect my own. My fiance is always watchful for signs that my health issues are getting out of control again, and he's not afraid to remind me that I can't care for others without caring for myself as well.[/quote']

Nurses also have to avoid choosing someone that would need "guidance"...blending your professional and personal life...Yikes!!

Also, we must take care of ourselves...emotionally, especially...if we cannot do that, entering in healthy relationship will be daunting, and the risks for problems increase.

[TiffanyLe]

@Blue Roses - I totally agree. I think it is deeply inherent that we (especially females) need someone that will listen to us talk about our day. Whether or not my boyfriend is actively listening is a different story. LOL! I am thankful though, that he is there for me so I could verbally vomit everything about work, school, etc.

@ladyfree28 - Can you expand more on avoiding partners who need guidance? Are you talking about avoiding partners that don't have careers yet?

[TiffanyLe]

@Blue Roses - I totally agree. I think it is deeply inherent that we (especially females) need someone that will listen to us talk about our day. Whether or not my boyfriend is actively listening is a different story. LOL! I am thankful though, that he is there for me so I could verbally vomit everything about work, school, etc.

@LadyFree28 ​ - Can you expand more on avoiding partners who need guidance? Are you talking about avoiding partners that don't have careers yet?

[LadyFree28, BSN, LPN, RN]

TiffanyLe, as nurses, we are astute enough to use those skills we learned in mental health nursing to see what traits a person has.

If a individual can bounce back by being laid off, illness, insurmountable circumstances, able to look out for self and others, and able to work on handling emotions, then that is ok. I'm talking about ones who absolutely are heading to train-wreck island, we KNOW it, and then enable the person in a nursing way, by caring for them.

The relationship is one-sided, co-dependent mess for both parties.

[Tait, MSN, RN]

Thanks for your responses everybody. I'd like to revisit this topic and ask you.....if you had to do it differently with your failed relationships, what would you do differently?

I would have never gone out with the guy who had no job, no car, and smoked weed all day... LOL