What NOT/Never to talk about at work... - page 3

Okay, the closed "Religion and Nursing" thread made 1 thing very clear to me. There are things at work/school you should NOT, NOT, NOT talk about unless you are absolutely sure that everyone else is... Read More

  1. by   RN-PA
    On our unit, it's almost always so darn busy that we don't have TIME to talk about personal stuff. There've been many times when a co-worker has been away on vacation and returns after two weeks and all you have time to say is, "Did you have a good time?" and/or "Good to have you back!" The only time we get to chat is outside of work at a gathering to celebrate a graduation or someone leaving. If politics/religion/sex topics arise, I generally keep quiet unless I'm asked a direct question. I'm very conservative politically and religiously and it's not too "PC" to hold some of the beliefs I have. I pretty much just want to get along with everybody, in the long run.

    Discretion is the better part of valor.
  2. by   bluesky
    Well. I think the issue is not so much what to talk about as who you discuss it with. The problem is that all that smiles is not a friend so occasionally you get burned by thehypocrite or the just plain psycho. I have had plenty of decent convos about politics at work but one story is out of this world bizarro so I thought I'd share.

    I was working as a unit secretary on PEDS and I got along OK with all the nurses. Well one nurse in particular was interesting to me because she was jewish and my history is jewish even though I wasn't raised in the culture. Well one night we're all sitting at the unit station and she is telling all the other nurses (Christians) about the history of the state of Israel and OMG it was just SOOOOOOO biased. Well I introduced my opinion and she told me on several occasions during the convo that I needed to learn my history and that I didn't know what I was talking about. Well, after thinking about what to do about it, I took a moment when she was in the break room alone to approach and tell her (by the book y'all) that I was hurt that she made those statements and I felt that she was accusing me of being a reconstructivist or something. Well, before I could finish my sentence she was pounding her fists on the table and yelling at me about how she didn't know what I was talking about and I could get her fired. I mean *****??! Well. later she starts calling the supervisor at the unit station and complaining at the top of her lungs about me accusing her of blah blah blah. Well, she then proceeded to yell at the supervisor and state that I was being anti-semitic and demand a review from HR. Alot of bull later, all parties involved agreed that she was off her rocker but we did find out that she had been fired from another hospital for having an argument with a Palistinean MD.

    Well, I quite that job to go to nursing school but imagine my surprise when I see her name on the list for PEDS rotation instructor!!!! OMG!!!!!!!

    Well, would you believe that she converted to catholicism and was showing films on Mother Theresa and birth control to the clinical students??!!!!
    Well, she got fired from both the hospital AND the clinical instructor job. Now, you'd think I'd feel revindicated but the truth is I feel sorry for her children (she was going through a nasty divorce).

    Now, I wish I could say the moral of this story is don't talk politics/religion at work but the REAL moral of the story is assess whom you speak to. A few of my friends on the unit had warned me about her instability so maybe it was just as much my poor judgement as her neurosis.
  3. by   Energizer Bunny
    Wow bluesky! I'm in shock right now.....
  4. by   reyna
    we had an agency nurse one time that practically preached us about the coming of the alien beings...he even showed us (and tried to distribute) pamphlets. safe to say that's probably one of the things you should never talk about at work.
  5. by   Nurse Ratched
    Quote from reyna
    we had an agency nurse one time that practically preached us about the coming of the alien beings...he even showed us (and tried to distribute) pamphlets. safe to say that's probably one of the things you should never talk about at work.
    You *do* know the aliens are coming, don't you?
  6. by   MichaelSSSS
    Religion and Politics these days is just OFF LIMITS! People are so vicious about both. I long for the day they could be talked about but those days are long gone. Personally, I'm an atheist and don't give a rip about anything having to do with spirituality; but I have definite opinions about politics and can't stand people who have opinions based on feelings alone. I lose a degree of respect for a person who can't think for themselves or who vote for a candidate because he's "so good looking". So, I just don't go there.

    As for sex, it's so open and common these days it's easy to be a bit loose with our descriptions of likes and dislikes. But, it is also very inappropriate in a work setting and can result in sexual harassment situations. I'm one of three male nursing students in my program and it seems nearly every time we get into a study situation the women start talking about sex. I don't care personally, but I find it interesting that they find it so interesting. It's also dangerous as you never know "for sure" if someone in the group is a religious fanatic and is offended by the topic.

    Also, while I respect everyone's right to be religious, I don't want anyone talking to me about God. I hate it when a person goes off about Jesus and how I'm going to Hell if I don't believe and accept him and all that ^%$#. If you want to preach, do it on a street corner where people can get far away from you. If you want to talk politics go stump for you candidate of choice. And for goodness sake keep your sex life private if for no other reason than out of respect for your mate or partner.
  7. by   Chevelle
    I believe that you should never talk about things at work that are not related to work.
  8. by   BBFRN
    Don't talk about you pt's personal issues, or argue over who gets them this time, because they're busy pts & you don't feel like dealing with them today. Unfortunately, my step mother, who is in stage 5 breast CA heard a conversation such as this at the nurse's desk right outside her room. Both she & my father are in the same hospital at this time- he's in Stepdown, and she's in Oncology. This conversation over who was going to take her prompted her to call me and ask me to spend the night with her, so I could perform all the nurse's duties throughout the night. She felt very bad for being such a busy pt and for causing them such a "problem". This makes me furious as a nurse and pt's family member, and makes her feel worse & more powerless than she needs to feel at this time.
    So, please- if you need to vent about a pt load, do it out of earshot of the pts.
  9. by   mattsmom81
    Quote from Nurse Ratched
    You *do* know the aliens are coming, don't you?

    What...don't you know they are already among us? :uhoh21:
  10. by   mattsmom81
    On a serious note, we need to remember people put on a 'work face' so until we get to know coworkers very well we shouldn't share personal info/opinions with them...too dangerous. Someone who appears friendly and open minded may be the total opposite, as Bluesky shared. Some perverted crazies coax personal details out of ya only to use it against you when they see fit. I don't understand people like that but they are out there.
  11. by   Quickbeam
    I believe in a no gossip rule. It'll save you a lot of heartache in the end. No politics, sex, or religion.

    I will add that I've had a few odd ball moments of disclosure when an emergent job requirement conflicted with my faith beliefs. My job requires that I facilitate an appeals board for the public with volunteer MDs. It is one hour in an afternoon, no meals involved. One new MD came in late and said "you, nurse, get me coffee now". I explained where the coffee was and she just shoed me off. I had to pull her aside and let her know that caffeine violates my faith beliefs. She was annoyed but had no rebuttal.
  12. by   KacyLynnRN
    Yeah, one of the registry nurses I work with once bragged about a threesome she'd had with her husband and best friend that weekend while we were preparing for report. Too much info. there and I didn't think that was the most professional thing to discuss at work...
  13. by   leslie :-D
    you never ever know what will come back and haunt you. anything you say and do, can and will be held against you, i.e., backstabbers....even you're so-called closest friends. learn to be a good listener and just do your job.