What is the worst hardship/story you have ever seen/heard in your nursing career?

cardiacfreak, ADN · Nov 9, 2013

I once worked on a pediatric unit and we admitted a failure to thrive at 6 months of age. When the parents left to go get something to eat I bathed the child because she was very dirty, she had dirt behind her ears, under her neck, between her fingers and toes. As I was bathing the child in the bathroom, I could feel someone watching me, I turned my head and the father was standing in the doorway watching. It was creepy because he hadn't made a sound and when I looked at him he turned around and left. The baby was discharged a few days later.

Three weeks after the baby was discharged I was watching the local news, the father had been arrested for sexually abusing the baby girl with a heated curling iron.

WoosahRN, MSN, RN · Nov 10, 2013

When I read the title of this thread I thought "Why?". Why tell horrific, guaranteed to be sad, stories. Yet, here I am reading them all and now responding. So I think it's the coping, the misery loves company, the venting that only other nurses can empathize with.

Infant admitted to PICU with cardiac issues. Mother was 12 years old. She's been raped by a family member but handled her situation (at least externally) with such grace that it left our unit speechless (and made us all want to wrap her up and take care of them both). It was the middle of the night and she was alone. No family members accompanied this child as she called EMS to bring her child into the ICU. She was dressed up and wrote down everything we told her as well as questions for her to ask. We asked her if she was safe. She assured us that she was and that there was legal action against the family member. I can't imagine how intimidating any of it would have been but she was a better mother than a lot of people I've met and I always hope that things got better for her. (Don't you just want to take some of them home?)

Infant admitted with brain bleeds and skull fracture. Couldn't confirm abuse but it was highly suspected. Family was a mess and highly ignorant and casual about the situation. Their behavior and conversations were odd and exaggerated. Family was asking what the big deal was and why we just didn't do a brain transplant. He was pronounced brain dead after a couple days. Family disappeared. They consented to organ donation but we never saw them again. They never called. I don't even think they were there for official pronouncement of death. Care was turned over to Donor. They were narrowing in on donating heart, kidneys and liver which is unheard of in a young, small infant (size really limits infant donation). But as labs were coming back they found he had Hepatitis. Just felt like in his life his family and mother didn't protect him and even as something good was to come of it, it felt like she gave him a final gift that made it all such a waste. Obviously nothing was donated, we removed support that night. He died "alone"....without family, staff was there. We did handprints and hair even though we doubted anyone would pick it up. We felt like it was respectful to him and to give him the same dignity and care we would for any other child.

jadelpn, LPN, EMT-B · Nov 11, 2013

Was in a skilled care taking care of a early 30's woman who had gotten into an arugment with her husband, got into her car, sped off only to get into a rollover.

Ended up after a number of feuding relatives (who wanted to "not put her in a home" as to not miss out on the social security payments) in skilled care, trached, feeding tube, completely contracted to almost a fetal position--the family was fighting on who had "rights".

They left her with nothing but old not so gently used clothes to wear, as the siblings were even fighting over her clothes (!) and by the pictures they had all over the room of her former life, appearance was very important to her.

Decision was made as to not let her very young children visit her, as they were told she was dead. However, on her wall at eye level to where she lay was pictures of her children. She would literally lay in her bed in the evening and the tears would roll down her cheeks as she would stare at those pictures.

Come to find out she had been in the facility for some time, and the family long abadoned her, had tied up the court system for years on insuring that they "got what they deserved" and "who got the kids" and other craziness, and there she was, staring at those pictures and crying.

She couldn't communicate, however, it was really clear she knew exactly what was being said--her eyes were so expressive. And my heart broke for her, and almost 10 years later, not a day goes by that I don't think of her. Her babies must be grown by now, and to think that they will never know their mother exists...

And I too am old enough to remember the shunning of all those with HIV. And the cruel treatment of the patient's partners. And the hatred that was so intense you could feel it. And all of the rumors that you could get AIDS from merely touching someone. These patients were the lepers of the times.

I have a relative lives with HIV. And has for some time. And I remember the hatred of such a gentle soul merely because of fear and ignorance was mind blowing.

And to be told that he needed to go home and go to bed, as he would be dead in 6 months, and not to let the kids touch him, so to essentially quarantine him. And the multiple people who told him he was going to hell. Just devistating for him.

And although we have come a long way, I cringe when partners (and in some states husbands/wives) in a same sex relationship are referred to as the patient's "little friend" or "frienddddd" (insert eye roll) or some other demeaning name that is not what it should be--by the same supposed professional nurses who don't blink an eye when a mistress is sneaking in between a wife's visit. But same sex partner and it is the third degree and snarky comments.

Unreal. And unfair. And unjust.

jadelpn, LPN, EMT-B · Nov 11, 2013

I just need to say Bless every one of you who take care of the babies as indicated in the stories above. I think what you do is just so incredible. And thank goodness you are who you are and you do what you do. Thank you.

realnursealso/LPN, LPN · Nov 11, 2013

This may be selfserving, but my worst nightmare was when I walked into the medical ICU, and saw my dear sister on life support. She didn't know we were there, I knew it wasn't going to be a good outcome. She quit breathing at home, I was there, she had been very ill with Myesthemia Gravis. I suctioned her trach to no avail. EMS came and took her to the hospital. I will never forgive myself for not being able to help my sister. She died 2 weeks later. She died 5 years ago, but it still haunts me. I replay it all in my mind, over and over, the last thing she said to me was,"I can't breathe".

Esme12, ASN, BSN, RN · Nov 11, 2013

This may be selfserving, but my worst nightmare was when I walked into the medical ICU, and saw my dear sister on life support. She didn't know we were there, I knew it wasn't going to be a good outcome. She quit breathing at home, I was there, she had been very ill with Myesthemia Gravis. I suctioned her trach to no avail. EMS came and took her to the hospital. I will never forgive myself for not being able to help my sister. She died 2 weeks later. She died 5 years ago, but it still haunts me. I replay it all in my mind, over and over, the last thing she said to me was,"I can't breathe".

((HUGS)) I am so sorry for your loss.....((HUGS))

squidbillies · Nov 12, 2013

Just two weeks ago at clinical. Parents come in with three year old to ED. Ask if it will harm the child if he eats feces. They can not afford food so they put their feces in Tupperware and eat it. All three of them eat this. Social services calls DCF who will not do anything since they came to seek treatment. Social services gives a huge list of resources for food, shelter, etc.

God bless all of you who work peds. My heart breaks and it is not a job I could ever do.

ICUNurseG · Nov 12, 2013

First of all thanks to those of you who work peds or nicu. It takes a special person.

I had a early 30s female 1-2 wks postpartum returned to the hospital w seizures at home, went into status and was intubated. Found a mass on her brain. She was extubated and no major neuro deficits, but bx revealed a glioma. Lots of baby daddy vs pts family drama, I had to kick the baby dad and sister out because they would not stop arguing in front of the pt (about who was going to care for baby) right before she went for the bx. Next night I came in and they had told her the news about the glio. She just sat there and sobbed all night.

When I was 19 I got my first tech job at a level 2 trauma unit. In the first few months I worked there I saw some of the worst stuff I've seen to this day. A woman's husband beat her up so bad-- mult fx, tried to stomp her eyes out, many other things. Left her wrapped in a shower curtain to die. Had a tbi and was blind, I know she woke up but not sure how far of a recovery she made.

Had another guy (my first death as a tech) SIGSW. 8 yo son found him. They tried to resuscitate him for about an hour, finally called it quits and let the pts mom sit w him while he died. She wanted the pts son to see him one more time. The nurses tried to talk her out of it but she insisted. I'll never forget that sobbing kid in his sock feet, walked halfway in the unit, had to turn around and walk out. That kid will never be the same.

Debilpn23 · Nov 12, 2013

This may be selfserving, but my worst nightmare was when I walked into the medical ICU, and saw my dear sister on life support. She didn't know we were there, I knew it wasn't going to be a good outcome. She quit breathing at home, I was there, she had been very ill with Myesthemia Gravis. I suctioned her trach to no avail. EMS came and took her to the hospital. I will never forgive myself for not being able to help my sister. She died 2 weeks later. She died 5 years ago, but it still haunts me. I replay it all in my mind, over and over, the last thing she said to me was,"I can't breathe".

Sending hugs so sorry for your losses

nuberianne_RN · Nov 14, 2013

I remember a story that I was not personally involved in as I was either in nursing school or just about to start. I saw this on tv, 20/20 or Dateline perhaps. A late 20/early 30 y.o. sought help for a pimple on his buttock while he was deployed overseas. He was told it was nothing and was basically ignored and not treated.....FOR YEARS. It turns out that it was melanoma. I think he ended up being separated instead of medically retired d/t the illness. Therefore his son could not collect full benefits. This totally SUCKED because had they listened and treated him the outcome may have been drastically different. It's been a few years so the details are a little fuzzy. If any of you remember this story and have more accurate info please feel free to correct anything I have said. The family could not sue for negligence or malpractice because the law prevents litigation by or on behalf of any service member.

Years later the news crew showed up while his family was gathered around. When the crew got there they filmed him and then he died. The family insisted that the crew stay there to do the story. I will never forget the images of him laying there so skeletal with his muscles completely wasted away, agonal breathing and eyes half open already with the fixed look of death in them. :cry:

He was a very handsome guy who once was an extra in a show that Jennifer Love Hewitt starred in. Anyone remember this?

monkeybug · Nov 15, 2013

When I first started out as a nurse I worked in a very small country hospital, so we would typically get to know patients really well. You might take care of them for each of their labors, their sister's labors, so you'd get to know families. I had a sweet little teen when I was brand new, and she really tugged at my heart strings. No one came to visit her after she delivered. She told me that she loved the bows and wreaths on other mothers' doors and wished she had something. I got her colored paper and markers and she did a sign for her own door with the baby's name. She decided then and there that I was the greatest thing since sliced bread. I sat and talked to her, and conversation came around to the FOB. She told me that she had absolutely no idea who the baby's dad was, because her mother took her to a party full of adults, got her drunk, and left her there alone. She woke to find that she was no longer a virgin, and had no idea who (or how many) had had sex with her. The other nurses and I suspected that she was used as a drug payment. Her next baby, she ended up hospitalized for weeks and weeks, and for her 16th birthday the nursing staff got together and brought her a cake and balloons. She said it was the happiest birthday of her life, and it was the very first birthday party she'd ever had.

doho_rn, ADN, RN · Nov 15, 2013

Heartbreaking stories. Wiping tears from my eyes as I read each one of them. Thank you all for sharing.